Gorky's famous saying is the most pertinent: "Mother's love is the greatest power in the world. Without the help of selfless, self-sacrificing maternal love, the child's soul will be barren." This sentence shows that childhood experiences affect life, among which maternal love has a profound impact on life.
The role of children's healthy physical and mental growth is irreplaceable.
Junior high school students do not have strong self-control abilities, their worldview is gradually forming, and they are easily influenced by the outside world. Some parents are often unable to accompany and take care of their free children at home due to heavy workloads after their children's mothers suddenly pass away.
In this way, students in a deserted home cannot feel the warmth and care of their family at all, and have no nostalgia for home. They feel that the outside world is more attractive than at home. Friends outside make them feel more "human" than their father, and they are more capable.
Take care of yourself. Therefore, after school, I go straight to the "more exciting world" and hang out in Internet cafes and game console rooms with my "friends", not wanting to go home late at night.
This type of students gradually develops a wrong understanding of moral norms in the "wonderful world" and lacks a sense of morality and social responsibility. Their self-evaluation is often incorrect and they are easily affected by negative evaluations from "friends" or society and are not easily accepted.
The school and parents provide positive education and evaluation, which has a very bad impact on the surrounding students, making them a typical double-difference student.
Many parents feel guilty because their children have lost maternal love. They think that they cannot provide their children with a complete family, so they want to compensate their children with money and other material aspects. They pamper their children excessively and pamper them in terms of food, clothing, and play.
, flowers and other aspects, regardless of whether the child's request is reasonable or whether the behavior is correct, we will all meet it.
This kind of "closeness" by parents is not conducive to the formation of good habits in children, and directly affects the healthy growth and development of children. Such parents do not know that the psychology and physiology of junior high school children are growing rapidly. Because of their father's love,
Let them (them) feel that it is natural to stretch out their hands for clothes and open their mouths for food. This type of students are always self-centered, self-centered, selfish, extreme, have no collective concept, and it is difficult to integrate into collective life. At the same time, they cannot stand it.
He was criticized by his children, could not bear the setbacks and blows, and showed an extremely fragile psychological state.
Research has shown that people with suicidal tendencies are mostly related to their premature separation from maternal love, such as: losing their mother in early years, the mother is sick and needs him to take care of her life, etc. Separation from the mother in childhood, or lack of maternal love, will have a long-lasting impact on people.
, causing him to feel helpless and desperate when he encounters difficulties in the future.
This is actually a "reappearance of the situation" of separation from the mother in the past, a "psychological realization", not the objective reality at the moment. People with suicidal tendencies are characterized by: timidity, fear of taking risks, or addiction
Because of fantasy, they like to be close to older women. Some young men even like to choose girls with maternal qualities as wives, such as: fat, tall, etc. Most people with suicidal tendencies are very responsible people and care about
His own value and contribution to the family. Often he has lofty goals.
Many mothers cannot forgive their children's "playfulness" and force them to learn things they don't like. Psychologists believe that suppressing nature is not conducive to cultivating qualities such as love, sympathy, tolerance, etc. from an early age. Many parents believe that "people who are good will be bullied."
, so they are unwilling to provide "kind education" to their children. For example, they always say to their children: "When others hit you, you hit them too, and if you can't beat them, bite them." Some parents instill in their children "how society is deceitful."
", "How people quarrel with each other", etc. Parents' inappropriate words and deeds may make children lack kindness. Psychologists believe that some college students are indifferent, selfish and lack compassion, and this has to be traced back to their childhood.
educate.
In modern society, the divorce rate is high, families are disharmonious, and life is stressful. Many families have children unable to enjoy normal fatherly and motherly love due to various reasons. The fundamental reason is that parents do not have enough understanding of their children's growth. Many people think that they should give their children enough.
They think that making money desperately is for their children. Some people choose to divorce to escape if their families are not happy, or they choose to make do for the sake of their children. Some people use their children as a tool to realize their ideals and build their self-confidence.
, strictly discipline children...
These behaviors are the main causes of children's psychological problems. If parents can recognize their own problems and see their children's true inner needs, it will be the greatest happiness for their children.
I understand all these principles, because I have done in-depth research on psychology in the past. But this is something that makes me feel even more painful - I clearly know the importance of father's love, and I clearly know that children lack maternal love.
, but I can only let this situation continue.
Perhaps the greatest sorrow in life is nothing more than this.
Should I give up everything I have? Give up everything and return to my child? Then find a stepmother for my child who can love him?
At this time, I had to think about another question: What is the purpose of our lives? Is it to live for ourselves or to live for our children?
In fact, sometimes I think about it, people's life is really confusing and inexplicable. When I grow up, I live for my family, my children, my parents, and my own face. The memory before the age of ten is already relatively blurry. From the age of ten to twenty
During my many years of schooling, I have been looking forward to growing up quickly, hoping that I can no longer be restrained and live a life of my own control, and then maybe fall in love for a short period of time and then get married.
If a person gets married at the age of twenty-five and has a child at the age of thirty, then the remaining twenty-five years are spent for his family and children, and he can endure it even if there is unspeakable suffering. So in our country
, children have become the motivation for many people to live to a large extent, although many people always complain about how tiring it is to raise a child.
Many of us lead a life of leaving early and coming home late, raising children. Although we also want to take good care of our parents, our energy is limited. Our parents will eventually come second to our children. Therefore, many people say that our parents are owed money in their previous lives.
If you are in debt to your children, the debt you owe your parents must always be repaid to your children.
This is how most people in our country live. Maybe they can only think about their own lives after they are sixty years old.
After reaching the age of sixty, the old couple relies on each other and lives a life of respect for each other. After the age of sixty, they live for themselves. For traditional Chinese families, this state has become a dream we often talk about.
So I thought, is this kind of life really meaningful?
I don't know, I really can't think about these questions. But now I'm lying on the bed, forcing myself to think about it, because I don't want to transfer my thoughts to Zhong Feng.
I can't sleep.
A few days later, the Japanese delegation arrived in Jiangnan Province. The purpose of their visit to Jiangnan Province this time was of course to sign a contract with us.
The province attaches great importance to this matter. Governor Wang and Governor Huang personally went to the airport to greet us. Our main leaders from Shangjiang City all participated in this greeting task, but officials at my level only stood in the greeting team.
The last one.
There have been a lot of good things happening in Shangjiang City recently. Just yesterday, the archaeological team of the Provincial Cultural Relics Bureau reported to us a very happy thing: after preliminary excavations at the site, it can be initially determined that the place is the ruins of a temple, and the archaeological team is still there
Some cultural relics were excavated at the site. After preliminary identification by the archaeological team, those cultural relics were indeed from the early and middle Ming Dynasty.
When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it, so I immediately ran to Minister Wu's office.
This was the first time I went to his office. When I entered, I found that his office was very spacious and beautiful. Generally speaking, it was no less than Secretary Chen’s office, and it was even more spacious and beautiful than my office.
a lot of.
But I just said casually: "Minister Wu, your office is nice."
He said with a smile: "The nature of the work of our United Front Work Department is to often deal with overseas Chinese and non-party people. It is not acceptable if the environment is too bad. There is no other way. We can only find ways to make it as good as possible."
I smiled and asked him: "As far as I know, the city government doesn't seem to allocate much work funds to you every year. Do you have other sources of money? Haha! Minister Wu, I don't mean anything else, just
Just ask."
He smiled and said: "Shangjiang City is so poor, we don't expect to get more work funds from the city government. Even if I ask for it, Mayor Feng may not necessarily give it to me, don't you think?"
I smiled and said, "It's not that I don't give it, it's that I can't get it out."
He nodded and said: "Yes. I mean the same thing as you. To tell you the truth, Mayor Feng, our United Front Department has special funds every year. This fund is directly assigned to us by the Provincial United Front Department.
.The nature of our work is too special and very sensitive, so the above has arranged such a fund.
In addition, we can also go directly to the competent authorities in Beijing to apply for funds through some projects. In fact, Mayor Feng, as our Shangjiang Municipal Government, we can do the same. As long as we have suitable projects, we can also get special projects from Beijing.
Funding. Mayor Wen did a good job in this area in the past, and he was able to apply for a lot of funds every year."
I suddenly realized, "So that's it. Thank you, Minister Wu, we will pay more attention to this aspect in the future. Also, we need to ask you to send us more experiences and ideas about this aspect of work in the future. But Minister Wu,
I came to see you today for something else."
He immediately laughed and said, "I know what it is. Mayor Feng, you want to ask me whether the news from the archaeological team is reliable? Or, you want to ask me whether I have done any work for the archaeological team.
.Is it this way?"
I couldn't help but admire in my heart: This is also a smart man. I nodded to him and said: "That's right."
He immediately said: "No. I haven't done any work on them yet. Because I believe that place should be the ruins of that temple. No matter from the old man's research or from the conditions of the scene we saw at that time,
That place should undoubtedly be the ruins of that temple."
But I still looked at him suspiciously, "Really?"
He immediately laughed, "Mayor Feng, why don't you believe me? Of course what I say is true. If you don't believe it, you can ask the old man, or you can go to the site to see the cultural relics that have been excavated."
I couldn't help but smile sheepishly, "Look, I thought of cheating at first, but in the end, I started to doubt the real thing."
He laughed, "So, we'd better not lie. Otherwise we might not be able to tell the truth from the lie. But Mayor Feng, to be honest, if after the excavation it is found that the place is not the ruins of a temple,
, I also agree with your idea.
Because we need such a project in Shangjiang, and this matter has been publicized, not to mention that we do not need to fund the reconstruction ourselves. How can we give up such a good thing?
In fact, many so-called monuments across the country are hyped. For example, the Baidi City at the entrance of Qutang Gorge is hyped as the place where Liu Bei Tuogu was placed. In fact, that place is a temple, and the real location of Liu Bei Tuogu is
In Yong'an Palace. As for where Yong'an Palace is, this matter is still a mystery to this day."
I couldn't help but burst out laughing, "It makes sense." Then I said to him: "The preliminary results of the excavation are a good publicity stunt. So, Minister Wu, why don't we publish this news in the province?"
What about newspapers? You can even put it online. It would be better if CCTV could report it."
He smiled and said: "We have already notified several newspapers in the province. However, it is better not to make any move to CCTV for the time being. First, the cost is too high, and second, the materials we have prepared are not sufficient yet. So I am worried.
Even if our Jiangnan TV station submitted it to CCTV, it would be difficult for it to be adopted."
I nodded.
Then he told me another thing, "Mayor Feng, the female boss who went up the mountain with you last time, her surname seems to be Zhong, right? She called us recently, mainly to inquire about donations.
I have already reported this matter to Secretary Chen. Secretary Chen’s opinion is to first establish an organization and then open a special donation account in a certain bank.
So we are currently handling this."
I said: "This is very important. Secretary Chen's opinion is correct. But I think we should also consider the management of future fund use."
He nodded, "Yes. Secretary Chen also mentioned this matter. Therefore, this matter may be studied specifically at the next meeting of the Standing Committee of the Municipal Party Committee."
I said: "Secretary Chen is so considerate of the issue."
He said: "Yes. By the way, one more thing is that your father-in-law and his secretary also called us, saying that he hoped that we would agree to let Jiangnan Group undertake the reconstruction project of this temple. They
We are willing to use a budget of 5 million in construction funds to do this well. Mayor Feng, do you think we have been too lucky in Shangjiang recently? Why are so many people willing to donate to us?"
I was stunned for a moment, and then I couldn't help laughing. (To be continued)