It was eerily quiet in the ward. I sat next to Chen Yuan. Her face had turned rosy, as if a normal person was asleep. I looked at her for a long time, and even though she moved her mouth several times, she didn't say anything.
Come, because my heart is full of guilt and regret. But now is not the time for me to express my guilt to her. Under the current circumstances, any stimulation will be detrimental to her condition.
"Yuanyuan, don't sleep. Didn't we agree last night? I let you sleep for only half an hour and then wake up. Look at me, didn't I wake up already? Why don't you keep your words?
The child is waiting for you to feed him milk. You don't know that he is starving when you keep sleeping like this. I have no choice but to buy milk powder to feed him. But you know, where can I find milk?
How about **? The nutrition of milk is much worse than that of **, and it is easy to cause irritation. Our son may become constipated and may even get sores after eating **. Yuanyuan, wake up quickly, you are a mother.
Yes, we must not let our son suffer..." I kept nagging next to her. I knew that maybe nothing I said was of any use now. Maybe only talking about the child could make her happy.
Wake up and turn around.
The only way to wake her up in this situation is to find the thing she cares about the most. And I feel that only the child is Chen Yuan's sensitive point. Those words she once said made me feel exactly like this.
But it had no effect, and she fell into a deep sleep. I spoke to her for a long time, and suddenly I felt that I had spoken more today than I had spoken to her since I met her. I felt extremely regretful and suddenly remembered
When Zhao Menglei came, she thought of the little things that happened between her and Chen Yuan after Zhao Menglei's death, and she felt even more regretful and painful. She couldn't help but shed tears, and could no longer restrain herself, "Oh! Yuanyuan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for you.
I know why you don’t want to wake up. I know you don’t want to see me because you hate me. Yuanyuan, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t be like that. Wake up. As long as you can wake up,
You can do anything you want me to do. Yuanyuan, really. As long as you can wake up, I, you, and our children will move to another place together, and the three of us will live lovingly for the rest of our lives. Is that okay?
?Yuanyuan, you can ignore me or hate me, but what about our child? He needs his mother? Yuanyuan, I beg you, please wake up quickly. Don’t sleep like this anymore.
, You will make your body sleep badly like this, Yuanyuan, you haven’t seen our son yet, have you? Wake up quickly, wake up quickly, I will pick him up right away. Our child is in the hospital.
Inside, he has been hospitalized since he was so young, and I heard he is still in the incubator. Yuanyuan, don’t you want to see him? Wake up quickly, let’s go see our child together, okay? Woohoo
!is it good?"
I was confiding to her, but the result of this confession was sadness. My eyes were blurred, and what I was thinking about was the suffering she had suffered, and the pictures that appeared in my mind made me even more uncomfortable and sad.
.
Suddenly I heard crying. I was startled. I quickly wiped my tears and looked. I was immediately disappointed: Chen Yuan was still sleeping, and her face was peaceful. Only then did I feel that the crying was coming from behind me.
It was Shi Yanni's voice, the sound of her crying. No, there was also... I went to look and found that there was another person, Ah Zhu, who was also there with tears in her eyes.
Lin Yi came in and patted my shoulder gently, "Feng Xiao, go back and rest. You can't do this. Let Xiaonan's mother stay with her here. Maybe she will listen to her mother's words. What do you think?
?”
"Feng Xiao, don't be like this. Your child is still in the hospital. You go and see the child." I heard Azhu say to me.
"Child..." I murmured, and then I looked at Shi Yanni and found that she was holding Chen Yuan's hand. She was crying softly, tears falling drop by drop.
"Yes, Feng Xiao, let's go see the child. Your Aunt Shi is here. Don't worry about some things. You are a doctor. Maybe Xiaonan needs time. She may wake up after treatment tomorrow. You have to give her
Do something, okay? You go back and have a good rest tonight. Xiaonan will need your company tomorrow and maybe the day after tomorrow. Come on, I will take you to see the child first." Lin Yi's hand gently patted my shoulder.
, said to me in a low voice.
"Tomorrow..." I said, thinking that it would probably be like what Lin Yi said. Then I stood up.
"Brother Feng Xiao, let me accompany you to see the child." I heard Azhu say. I shook my head and walked out of the ward directly.
Lin Yi and I didn't say anything in the car. I didn't want to talk because I only had sadness and regret in my heart. I believe Lin Yi knows my current state of mind, and I also believe he knows the reason why I went to Chongqing this time.
What. Although he is not Chen Yuan's biological father, I still feel ashamed of him. The less he blames me, the more ashamed I feel.
However, when we were about to arrive at our hospital, he finally spoke, "Feng Xiao, don't blame yourself too much. Have you ever thought about it, even if you are in Jiangnan and at home, something like this may still happen. I
As the saying goes, one person has one life, there is no escape. Hey!"
"She couldn't have fallen if I was here," I said, murmuring.
"She fell down when she went to the toilet because of her high blood pressure. She fell down when she suddenly stood up. Fortunately, the nanny found it in time. The same thing can happen when you are at home, right?
?"He said.
I was silent for a moment. Lin Yi was right, even if I was in Jiangnan and at home, I would not accompany her to the toilet, or even not at home. However, this cannot be used as a reason for me to forgive myself. I can’t think of myself.
I'm sorry for Zhao Menglei, and now I'm sorry for Chen Yuan. All this can only show one thing, that is, I am too irresponsible.
Is this retribution? I'm asking myself.
The pediatric ward of our hospital is right next to our obstetrics and gynecology department. Under normal circumstances, except for the doctors in the pediatric ward, other people are not allowed to enter the newborn hospitalization area. What's more, my child is still a premature infant, because outside
It is easy for children to get infected if too many people go in. But I am different. The doctors in the pediatric ward know me, but they only allow me to go in alone.
The child is in a ward equivalent to an intensive care unit, in an incubator. The purpose of using an incubator for children is to create an environment with suitable temperature and humidity for the child, so that the child's body temperature can be kept stable, thereby improving the health of immature children.
The survival rate is good for the growth and development of high-risk newborns.
I put on a white coat and disinfected myself before entering the ward.
"Director Feng, this is your child." The nurse who took me in pointed at an incubator and said to me. I suddenly became excited and walked slowly towards the incubator. I saw him, but
, but my tears couldn’t stop flowing down at this moment.
The child is too small, his head is not as big as my fist. His eyes are closed, there is only fluff on his head, and his face is as thin and shapeless, as ugly as a newborn monkey. Babies are often born in obstetrics and gynecology departments outside.
, but most of the babies I saw before were normal babies, and the child in front of me looked more than half the size of those normal babies. Moreover, the child did not have any reaction in the incubator. I looked at him carefully,
I couldn't find a trace of Chen Yuan on his face. The only feature that made me think he was my child was his nose. The child's nose is a little small, just like mine.
I don’t know why, but I found that I didn’t like this child because I suddenly thought of the harm he had caused to Chen Yuan. However, I suddenly felt a little guilty about him because I suddenly thought of myself on the phone.
That reply to Director Qiu. I never thought that this child’s vitality was so tenacious and that he could survive.
Now, when I look at the child, I have mixed feelings: he and his mother are both sleeping, but I am awake alone. In this way, I have been looking at the child in the incubator, and suddenly, I
A strange idea came to my mind: It would be great if this child could call "Mom", maybe his shout could wake Chen Yuan up.
Later, it was the nurse's reminder that made me wake up. The nurse said to me: "The child is in good condition, but he may have to stay in the incubator for a long time."
I nodded. Of course I know that the purpose of the incubator is to allow the child to complete the developmental processes needed to come out of the mother's womb early. Premature babies may often have various conditions, including some physical defects. But I
It's impossible to think about those problems now. It's good that he can survive. I said in my heart.
Lin Yi sent me back home.
The nanny made me a bowl of poached eggs, and then I felt hungry. After eating, I immediately threw myself on the bed. I felt not only tired but also sore all over my body, but I found that I couldn't sleep at all. I just closed my eyes.
Then he started to have nightmares. The nightmares were all about Zhao Menglei and Chen Yuan's deformed face.
Sighing, he turned on the light, then took out his phone and turned it on.
There are two text messages in it, one is from Zhuang Qing: Is Chen Yuan okay? I feel very guilty. Can you call me back after turning on the phone? The other one is from Yu Min: I heard that something happened at your home. I'm very sorry.
I'm sorry. The company's affairs have been settled. I'm looking for the head nurse. I don't know what to say to you. I just hope that your wife will recover soon and that your children will be healthy.
I immediately deleted Yu Min’s text message because her text message made me feel even more uncomfortable. I was about to delete Zhuang Qing’s text message, but after hesitating for a long time, I sighed and called her. (To be continued)