That night, Azhu woke up in the middle of the night, and Su Hua and I were pleasantly surprised.
"Mom, dad..." I heard Azhu calling softly. She was already a girl in her twenties, but her voice was like a child's. But I didn't think there was anything funny about her.
Instead, a kind of pain suddenly appeared in my heart.
"Azhu..." I called her softly, and then I saw her open her eyes. She was looking at us, as if she remembered everything that had happened, and tears began to flow from the corners of her eyes.
Su Hua came to see me, and I shook my head gently at her, signaling her not to say anything. Yes, it is useless to say anything in such a situation. I know that the pain in her heart needs time to be forgotten.
.
Ah Zhu fell asleep deeply again, but I knew that she was subconsciously trying to escape.
Su Hua and I sat silently until dawn, when Ah Zhu woke up and said, "Feng Xiao, Su Hua, I'm hungry."
My tired body suddenly became energetic, and I hurriedly said: "I'll get you some food right away. What do you want to eat?"
She did not answer me, but tears were still slowly flowing from the corners of her eyes. I sighed softly and said to Su Hua: "You stay with her, I will buy something to eat and come back."
Azhu was crying while eating, and Su Hua couldn't help but the tears flowed down. I was also very sad, but I still forced myself not to let my tears flow out.
Later I discovered that Ah Zhu had not eaten anything at all.
"Feng Xiao, Su Hua, please leave me alone and let me follow my mother. What's the point of living alone in this world?" Azhu said later, her tears falling on the porridge in the lunch box in front of her.
in.
"Azhu, don't be like this. Things have already happened. This is a matter between your parents. You are still young and need to live well. To be honest, your father did not do the right thing in this matter, but your mother was also too radical.
Now that they are gone, aren't there still me and Feng Xiao here?" Su Hua said.
I hurriedly said: "Azhu, your mother also hopes that you can live well. I read her diary, and she left a last message for you at the end, hoping that you can live well. And she also spent all the money at home.
I leave it to you. Azhu, you have joined the workforce and are no longer a little girl. You must learn to live independently in the future. Su Hua is right. Although your parents’ affairs are painful, they all have their own faults.
place. In fact, you know it in your heart, otherwise why would you come to me for help? I am very ashamed that I did not have time to get things done quickly. But you are also responsible for this. In fact, your mother has discovered your father a long time ago
It's something that happened, but you didn't notice it. This shows that you didn't care enough about your parents before. In fact, in the final analysis, you always treated yourself as a child. Now that your parents are gone, you have to
You should mature as soon as possible. I think your parents also very much hope that you will be happy in the future. Otherwise, why would your mother say those words in her last words? Ah Zhu, in fact, it is very easy for a person to escape from difficulties, with just two eyes
Just jump off the building as soon as possible. The most difficult thing is to face the world with strength. It is not easy for our parents to bring us into this world, and it is even more difficult to raise us to such an old age. Think about me,
Although I have made many mistakes, have I faced less pain? I always tell myself in front of those pains: things have happened, but I have to continue to live, because I know
The reason why I must live is for the nurturing grace of my parents, for the children, and even more for myself. Now that I have come to this world, I should take a good look at what this world is like, and at the same time, I must
Take your own responsibilities. In fact, suffering is also a wonderful life. Don’t you think so, A-Zhu?"
"I don't want to live anymore... Wuwu! Mom..." I thought Azhu would feel better after saying these words, but I didn't expect that she would burst into tears immediately.
"Azhu, I think what Feng Xiao said is quite right. As for you, it is indeed too immature. However, it is difficult for anyone to accept something like this in your family. In fact, as Feng Xiao and I,
Isn’t it uncomfortable to tell me? Have you and my sister experienced too many things? Looking back, I was so proud. At that time, I was happily married and always hoped to make a difference in my career. I didn’t expect that I would get divorced later.
I even almost went to jail. Now I have to give up the major I have studied for many years and work as a nanny for a group of disabled children. You think I am miserable enough? But I haven’t come over like this? People have to live, and they have to continue.
Live a wonderful life. Ah Zhu, let me tell you a story. A Zen master at the Buddhist Academy unfolded a map of China during class and asked the students, what are the characteristics of the rivers on this map? The students replied
They said that they were not straight lines, but crooked curves. The Zen master asked again, why is it like this? Why does the river not go straight but has to take a detour? The students talked about it, and some said,
The curved path of the river lengthens the flow of the river, so the river can have a larger flow. When the summer floods come, the river will not be full of water. It is also said that due to the lengthened flow of the river, each unit of river flow
The flow rate in this section is relatively reduced, and the impact of the river water on the river bed is also weakened, which plays a role in protecting the river bed. After hearing this, the Zen Master said, what you said is all right, but in my opinion, the river does not go in a straight path.
The most fundamental reason for taking detours is that taking detours is a normal state in nature, while taking a straight path is an abnormal state, because the river will encounter various obstacles in the process of moving forward, some of which are insurmountable.
So it can only take detours and detours. In fact, the same is true in life. When people encounter ups and downs, they should regard the twists and turns of life as a normal state. They should not be pessimistic and disappointed, do not sigh or sigh, and do not stand still.
Detours are regarded as another form of progress, another way, so that you can reach the distant sea of life like those rivers that take detours. Azhu, do you know who told me this story?
?Let me tell you, your mother told me this when I came out of the Anti-Corruption Bureau. Alas! It’s a pity that she herself didn’t see it clearly.”
Su Hua's story just now shocked me. In fact, I understand many truths, but I can't explain them so clearly. Yes, taking detours is a normal state in nature, but on the contrary, taking straight paths
But it is an abnormal state. How well said! What surprised me even more was that Su Hua actually said that this story was told to her by her tutor.
"Did the instructor know when you came out that time?" I asked.
Su Hua nodded, "Yes. In fact, she also found a lot of people to help me. Maybe her friends told her that I was coming out that day, but she came to pick me up in person. That day, when I came from the Anti-Corruption Bureau
I saw her at first sight when I came out. You don’t know, I hugged her and cried bitterly. It was at that time that the instructor told me that story. To be honest, if it weren’t for the story she told me,
To tell the story, I might have left this city a long time ago, or even become a monk. Alas! In the final analysis, it is easy for a person to look at other people's things, and he can see them so clearly, but looking at his own things
But she became confused when she was there. Although the tutor is nagging, she is very fragile inside. Alas!"
"She nags because she pursues perfection." I said, "Azhu, did you hear that? Your mother is such a perfectionist but she has been tolerating your childishness and mistakes. Do you know why? Then
It’s because she thinks you are still young and still need to go through the trials of life.”
Having said this, I suddenly remembered the abusive diary entry of my mentor. At that time, I was still a little surprised: since the mentor was going to leave those last words for Azhu at the end, why didn't he tear up the article that was harmful to her image?
What about words? Now it seems that she deliberately let Ah Zhu see her shortcomings. Perhaps the instructor thought this way: because of her own imperfections, she ended up like that. In the final analysis, she expected Ah Zhu to
Become perfect.
Of course, my guess was probably wrong, but I felt that I should tell Ah Zhu. So, I then said to Ah Zhu: "A Zhu, I hope you will get rid of the pain as soon as possible and read your book carefully."
Mom's diary, maybe you will gain a lot from it."
Azhu was still sobbing, but the cry was much softer. When Su Hua and I talked to her just now, she was actually listening carefully. At this time, Azhu said in a low voice: "I don't want to live here anymore, and I don't want to
Go home. I’m scared.”
I was overjoyed because her words told me that she would no longer think about committing suicide. Suddenly I remembered what my father said to me, "Azhu, let's go to my house. My parents came last night."
It just so happens that you can stay with them for a few days. You can also spend the Spring Festival at my house. Okay?"
She didn't say anything. I knew she agreed, and then I said to Su Hua: "Please go to Azhu's department to ask for leave for her. Just tell Azhu to go to work after the Spring Festival. Everyone will know about the tutor today.
I think people in Azhu's department will understand."
Su Hua nodded, but looked at me with a faint look, "Feng Xiao, can I also come to your house to celebrate the Spring Festival? I am also alone now." (To be continued)