I breathed a long sigh of relief, and then gently opened it...
Page 1: On October, he did not go home. He probably went drinking, and must have been with the little witch in his department.
October 5th. When he came back today, he smelled of women's perfume.
On October 8th, he drank too much again and made out with me once when he came back. It seemed like he still liked me very much.
…
All the records on the first page are like this. There are not records every day, but the records are all about me staying out for the night and not going home or drinking.
I suddenly felt uncomfortable, but I couldn't remember the specific days and specific things in my mind. However, I recalled one thing from this page of records: it should have been not long after we got married.
, during that time I did often drink outside, and became more and more obsessed with Zhuang Qing.
I felt mixed emotions and secretly ashamed at the same time. I turned over and looked at the second page.
After turning over the first page, the two pages in front of me still have the same content. What she recorded was my situation during that period. The content of each day was just a few words, but it reminded me of the past.
That period of my life every day. Looking down one by one, my tears began to drip down. She recorded such content to accuse me in her heart...
Every piece of content she recorded in front of me was tingling my nerves. Now, I realized that my past life was so absurd and indulgent. At this moment, I seemed to understand why Tong Yao gave this notebook to
My reason.
If Tong Yao and Lin Yi's criticism and teachings to me had touched me before, then now, at this moment, my heart is really hurt. I feel ashamed of my past.
As I read one by one, the simple words in front of me turned into pictures one by one, turning into Zhao Menglei's sad, gentle, smiling and various other faces. Tears have blurred my eyes... Look
At the end of the page on the right, I found that it was the day shortly before she surrendered. The content of that day only contained a few words: I have already thought about it, and I still have to bear the responsibility for the things I have done recently.
Turning the page, there are only a few words on the left side: I really want to kill him too, but I can't bear it.
Then, everything at the back was blank. I was shocked, and hurriedly looked at the back, but it was still blank, and there was no more word.
Who else does she want to kill? Is it me?
It must be me, the person she wants to kill must be me! It's just, "but I can't bear it".
Looking at the words above intently, my nerves were shocked and stung again.
I don't know why she put this thing in that place. Maybe she didn't want to leave her anger and sadness behind, but she didn't want me to see it. No, she still hoped that I could see it in her heart.
When she saw this thing, maybe she was also conflicted, because she didn't want to take it away, but sealed it because she knew that I would see this thing sooner or later. Or maybe, her purpose was still
That would make me feel even more guilty from now on.
I don't hate her at all, on the contrary, I hate myself.
I'm sorry, Meng Lei... I murmured to my notebook in a low voice.
Thank you, Tong Yao... After a while, I whispered like this, facing the seat where she had just sat. Then I went outside the elegant room and said, "Waiter, bring me a bottle of wine!"
I want to get drunk, just by myself...
Later I got really drunk. It was the first time that I got drunk so quickly. I was so drunk that I lost consciousness. I don’t remember anything that happened after that.
When I woke up in the morning, I only felt a headache, and I also felt that I was sleeping on a soft bed. I had a very severe headache and a dry mouth. I kept struggling, but I found that my body was not feeling well at all.
No matter how he moved, he couldn't help but let out a painful groan.
"Ah, are you awake?" Suddenly a voice sounded in my ear, a woman's voice, a woman's voice that I was familiar with.
I opened my eyes suddenly, and my temples on both sides suddenly felt pulsating pain. I couldn't help but moan again. This time, I could hear my moan clearly.
I saw her, and it turned out to be Shangguan Qin. In front of me was her concerned look, "Feng Xiao, are you feeling better? Do you want to drink some water?"
I was speechless and could only nod slightly.
She said: "Wait a minute, I mixed the honey water for you last night."
After a while, she brought me a glass of water. It looked a little turbid. I immediately drank the glass of water quickly like a person who had just escaped from the desert. It was sweet and had a kind of aroma. It was indeed
It's honey water.
"I heard that honey water is good for hangovers. I asked you to drink it last night, but you were too drunk. I couldn't wake you up." She took the empty cup from my hand, smiling.
He said to me, and then asked: "Do you want more?"
I shook my head, feeling that my headache was no longer so severe, and my thirst was relieved a lot, "Shangguan, why am I here? What is this place?"
"My place. What? You really don't remember?" She asked me with a smile.
I was shocked, "How did I get here?"
I couldn't remember anything after I was drunk last night, so I panicked and began to suspect that I came to her while drunk. Moreover, what she just said had clearly told me that I was lying on her bed now.
.Shangguan Qin’s residence is not big. I have been here before and know that this bed is the only place where she lives, so I immediately became worried: I didn’t do anything inappropriate when I was drunk last night, right?
But she was laughing there, "Why are you like this? You really can't remember anything after being drunk? Are you really not remembering or are you just pretending?"
I became even more frightened, could it be... "Shangguan, tell me quickly, how on earth did I come to your place last night? I really don't remember."
But she smiled even brighter, "Don't you remember the phone call you made to me?"
I couldn't believe this was true at all, because I had no impression at all, "No way? I called you? How is that possible?"
She was laughing so hard that her whole body was shaking, "Look at your phone yourself."
I looked around, and she went to the bedside and took out my phone from my pants pocket, "See for yourself."
Those were my pants! Only then did I notice that I was naked under the quilt, except for my underwear. I became even more frightened: Oh no!
I held my phone and didn't look at it, because at this moment, my heart was completely filled with fear and anger towards myself.
Feng Xiao, you are really hopeless!
"What's wrong? Still feeling uncomfortable?" Shangguanqin saw me holding my phone in a daze, so she asked me with concern.
I suddenly woke up, and then I went to check the outgoing call history on my phone. Sure enough, it showed that I had made a call to her. The time was a little after nine o'clock last night. Now I completely believed her words, and I felt even more uneasy.
After thinking about it for a while, he finally plucked up the courage to raise his head and ask her: "Shangguan, last night we... I didn't, so what should you do?"
Her face suddenly turned red.
Seeing her face suddenly turn red, I became more and more panicked: Did I really do something I shouldn't have done last night? However, I don't even have a trace of memory. However, the problem is not here, the problem is that I did it last night
He was so drunk that he lost consciousness and even forgot about calling her. Therefore, even if he did do something to her, he would probably not be able to remember it.
No! Suddenly I remembered something. She said something to me just now, "I asked you to drink last night but you were too drunk. I couldn't wake you up."
In other words, when I came to her place yesterday, I was already drunk.
But why is she blushing? Did she say that she fed me honey water after I did something bad?
My mind was in turmoil. However, deep down in my heart I still didn’t believe that I had really done anything to her last night, because I knew that such a thing couldn’t be compared with making a phone call, even when I was drunk.
It happened next time, and it should at least leave an impression in my mind in the form of what I thought was a dream.
But I don't have that impression, not even a little bit.
So, I boldly continued to ask: "Shangguan, I really don't remember anything. I haven't done anything to you, right? Is that so?"
She didn't answer me, but suddenly came to ask me: "Brother Feng, why did you call me yesterday? It wasn't just because you were drunk, right?"
The more she refused to answer my question, the more uneasy I became, so I said again: "Shangguan, you haven't answered my question yet. I feel very uneasy now."
She pursed her lips and said, "Do you still feel uneasy?"
Seeing her expression and words like this, I breathed a sigh of relief in my heart, "Shangguan, I'm not kidding you. This person, sometimes when he is drunk, he is no longer himself, and the most instinctive things come out.
, so I’m worried that I offended you while drunk.”
Her face was expressionless and her voice was cold, "Do you only assault me when you are drunk? Am I that ugly?"
I hurriedly said: "Shangguan, don't say that. Of course you are beautiful, but what I said has nothing to do with whether you are beautiful or not. Shangguan, do you know? I have always respected you in my heart, so I don't want to
Any situation that hurts you."
Her expression suddenly changed and became softer, "Brother Feng, thank you. I know. You drank too much last night and you were so drunk that you vomited after I helped you here.
I vomited all over your clothes. Later I scrubbed your clothes, but your pants were very clean, and I thought that your pants were thicker and might not be dry in one night, so I didn't wash them for you.
There are no men's clothes here, so I can't change them for you...Brother Feng, you are a good person, I know it."
"My clothes..." I suddenly remembered the notebook inside my coat. (To be continued)