Her story gave me a shocking feeling, so I asked her softly: "Shangguan, does your mother believe in God?"
She still didn't answer me, "My mother also said something to me after telling me this story. She said: Xiaoqin, you must remember that you should never be discouraged when doing things. You must remember: in your
In the most difficult time, God has already carried you."
Only then did I realize that her thoughts were no longer here, and I already felt that her mother was probably no longer in this world - otherwise Shangguan Qin shouldn't have behaved like this. To the living, few
There will be people who show such longing and nostalgia. Of course, this is just my feeling.
I didn’t ask her again or speak, because I knew that sometimes a person’s nostalgia for his past and his relatives is actually a kind of happiness and enjoyment. I also know that if I interrupt someone’s
Remembering is cruel.
So, I started drinking slowly by myself.
But she suddenly raised her head, her eyes looking a little hazy, "Brother Feng, I'm sorry. I was distracted."
I smiled at her, "It's okay."
She then said quietly: "My mother, like Chen Yuan before, she has been comatose in bed and hasn't woken up yet. It has been more than five years..."
I was very surprised, "How could this happen?"
She whispered, shedding tears at the same time, "Car accident... Brother Feng, if I hadn't met the chairman, my mother would have been... So, I am very grateful to the chairman. Without him, I would not have been able to do anything."
I can’t imagine what I’ll be like now.”
I understood immediately, "Shangguan, don't talk about this. I believe your mother will wake up one day."
But she continued: "My mother believes in God. She is a Christian. She always thinks about others and acts according to God's will. However, she suffered such a disaster. I didn't understand why my mother believed in God before, but now
When I often recall the words she once said to me, I understand more and more that her belief is correct, because I find that I have too many sins."
I felt like she suddenly became abnormal, "Shangguan, you are a girl, you go to work and make money like other people, what's the crime?"
She was startled for a moment, then laughed, "Because I also believe in God? People who believe in God will always feel guilty. You are not a Christian and don't believe in God, so you don't understand."
I was very surprised, "Are you really a Christian? Do you really believe in the existence of God?"
She nodded, "Yes. I believe it."
I couldn't help but smile bitterly, "I can't understand. We are in modern society, and technology is so advanced. What on earth is God? It's just an illusory god created by people. Haha! Shangguan, don't be angry, I'm just doing it because of something.
By discussing the matter, I never meant to blaspheme your faith."
She said: "How can I blame you? You don't understand Christian teachings, so of course you would talk like this. But your words are wrong. God is not a god created by people. It should be people who discovered the existence of God. God is
Just like the light invisible to the blind, just like the radio signal invisible to us ordinary people, although we cannot see it, we can perceive its real existence."
I can't understand this kind of faith, "Maybe he really exists. But I know one thing, people with faith should live a fulfilling life than ordinary people."
She said: "That's for sure. Brother Feng, you don't seem to have joined any political party organization, right? In fact, you can also read the Bible."
I smiled bitterly and said, "I am studying medicine and have no interest in religion. I'm sorry."
She said: "There are so many doctors who believe in Christianity."
I still smiled bitterly, "That's in Western countries. After all, they have been influenced like that since they were young. Religion is actually a cultural inheritance for them. By the way, Shangguan, do you really believe in God that much? I really
I don’t quite understand why you believe this. Haha! I don’t mean anything else, I’m just curious.”
She looked at me, "I don't know if God exists, but I know that if he didn't exist, I would do no good as an atheist, but if he existed, I would do a lot of harm as an atheist. So, I would rather
Believe that God exists.”
I was stunned for a moment, "Shangguan, what do you say...how do you sound like it was said by a philosopher? It's so well said."
She smiled and asked me: "You also think this sentence makes sense, don't you?"
I nodded, "It seems..." and then laughed, "Shangguan, if you become a missionary, you will definitely be very good. But I am different, because I am very Chinese at heart, so I would rather believe in Buddhism or Taoism.
Unlikely to accept the concept of God."
She said: "Then the Jade Emperor and Tathagata Buddha are just descriptions of our country's thousands of years of feudal society? In the final analysis, they are just people's myths about reality."
I smiled faintly. In fact, in my heart, I didn't want to discuss this issue with her anymore. This issue was too complicated and too illusory. If we continued the discussion, it would be endless without any results.
Fortunately, she did not continue to discuss this issue with me. Instead, she came to drink several beers with me. Then she said to me: "Brother Feng, I'm sleepy and want to go back and rest."
Then I drove her downstairs to her residence.
"Brother Feng, come pick me up tomorrow morning." She said to me when we got off the bus.
I asked her: "What time is it exactly?"
She said: "About ten o'clock in the morning."
I said, "Okay. I can just buy a set of sportswear and hiking shoes first."
She smiled and said: "Why not just climb a mountain? Is it necessary to go to such trouble?"
I also laughed, "You can't go hiking in a suit, right?"
She suddenly giggled, with a very pleasant voice, "Don't buy it, I've already prepared it for you."
I looked at her in shock, "No way?"
Her face turned red from time to time, "I have been planning to invite you to go hiking for a long time, so I have prepared those things for you. Are you satisfied with this explanation?"
I suddenly felt a little nervous: What did she mean?
She had already got out of the car, and then started running towards the unit where she lived... She suddenly stopped, turned around and looked at me, "Brother Feng, you have to wear a suit to pick me up tomorrow. You look very good in a suit."
Handsome, I like looking at you like that."
I watched her disappear as if I had become stupid. Now, I regretted it a little: why did I agree to go hiking with her tomorrow?
The next morning, according to our agreement, I drove a car and wore a suit to pick up Shangguan Qin. I thought about it the night before: They have helped me so much, why don't I agree to this small request?
As for other possibilities, in the final analysis, it is still my own attitude. Besides, Shangguanqin is a smart girl. Maybe I don’t need to say anything to her explicitly at all. Maybe I just need to give a hint in language. In fact, it is enough.
I've already hinted at her because I've told her more than once "we're friends"
I think she should understand what I am referring to and should know that this is my attitude. Therefore, I feel that I must be thinking too much. To be precise, it should be that my own heart may have changed. In this regard,
I began to criticize myself constantly: Feng Xiao, who are you? How can you think about such things when you are in such a situation? Shangguanqin has been helping you, how can you do that to others?
What are your thoughts?!
Shangguanqin was wearing a beige woolen coat today, which made her look very beautiful and dignified. After she put her backpack on the seat behind her, she looked at me and smiled, "Brother Feng, you are so obedient.
good!"
I couldn't laugh or cry, "What are you talking about? I'm not a child."
She was still looking at me, "Brother Feng, can I drive?"
Of course I wouldn't say anything, so I said cheerfully: "Okay, you can drive. I don't know which mountain to climb yet."
She drove out of the community where she lived, "Brother Feng, let me take you to a place first."
I didn't pay much attention, "Where is it?"
She smiled at me and said, "I won't tell you yet. You will know when we get to that place later."
And when she really stopped the car and said "We've arrived" to me, I was immediately stunned: the place she took me to turned out to be a church! Then, I immediately understood that she wanted me to wear the clothes last night.
It's because of the suit - it turns out she wanted me to accompany her to this place first.
"Brother Feng, I just want you to come here and experience it." She said to me, smiling at me.
I don’t think it’s anything. Anyway, I’m here to accompany her today. It’s good to go to the church first to feel the atmosphere here., “Not to mention, I have never been to such a place, I have only seen it in movies. Today.
It would be nice to be able to experience it with you."
She put her index finger on her lips and said, "Shh! Don't speak after you enter. But the Lord is in his temple. All the people on the earth must revere and be silent before him."
I didn't quite understand what she said, but I still smiled at her. I've never seen her look so serious.
This church is located in the center of our city. Judging from the appearance, it should be at least several decades old. The architectural style of this church is very distinctive and is a typical Gothic building. Its
Four tall spiers, three pointed arch entrances and a circular rose window in the middle of the main span create a dignified and beautiful facade, which looks whiter and taller surrounded by green pines and cypresses.
When I was outside the church, I saw a sign saying: The church is a place for communication between God and man, please do not make loud noises.
I don't know why, but I immediately felt as if there was an inexplicable force pulling me, which made my heart suddenly become more pious, and then I followed her into the ajar door.
This church does not have a magnificent colonnade. The painted glazed tiles let in the morning sunshine. The wooden floor glows with the luster of fresh paint in the sun. The wooden benches are placed in rows. Everything is simple, but
There is a peaceful atmosphere everywhere here.
When we arrived, there were already many people in the main church. We chose a seat in the second row and sat down quietly. I looked forward, where I saw the melancholy look of Christ and the gentle expression of the Virgin.
Not long after we sat down, hymns began to be sung. Everyone stood up and everyone sang according to the Bible. There was a Bible placed in front of the seats, and I opened it like Shangguan Qin did.
This book.
But I didn't read the above content, because the singing from the choir immediately attracted me, and my mood quickly calmed down. I lowered my head and thought. Suddenly, the scene I followed when I was a child appeared in front of me. I couldn't imagine that I was more than 20 years old.
Things that happened years ago, bit by bit, appeared so clearly in my mind at this moment. My eyes became moist because I found that my childhood was so close to now.
After that, several pastors gave special readings respectively. The content was all about God's love and inner repentance. Then I began to observe the believers in the church, and found that there were babies as young as a few months old, as well as adults.
to the gray-haired old lady. Everyone had a very peaceful look and soft eyes on their faces. There were also several cleaners in cleaning clothes, with white gloves on their hands, holding the Bible and reading.
Very serious. So I was filled with emotion: It turns out that in this forgotten corner of the world, there are still people who have very persistent pursuits and beliefs. (To be continued)