Hong Yanwu's outspokenness made Xuan Ye a little angry. When she heard this, she suddenly interrupted.
"Look at what you said about us, we are so bad? You are being extreme! People go to higher places, and water flows to lower places. Isn't it natural for people to pursue success throughout their lives? Don't parents require their children to do so?
Is it abnormal for our progress? Don’t ordinary people’s families also want their children to go to college, join the military, and find a good job? Also, people are social creatures, and everyone builds a complete society together. Is it possible that as a member of society?
As an individual, don’t you need to worry about other people’s feelings? That’s called selfishness! How can public order and civility be maintained if you choose yourself out like you do?”
Hong Yanwu saw that Xuan Ye was emotional and quickly restrained herself.
"Look at you, you are still in a hurry while talking? Well, even if I said it too much. It is a bit frivolous, hasty, and generalizing. Can I apologize to you for this?"
Then he changed the topic and started to take the lead again.
"But having said that, I am also asking these questions based on my feelings, not just talking nonsense. Before we continue talking, there is a premise that I hope you can understand. I don't mean to complain or ridicule anyone by saying this. I just hope you understand us.
There are essential differences between them. As for whether what I said is correct or not, I will tell you, listen to it, and then we will discuss it..."
"For example, let's take parents' requirements for their children. Although they all hope that their children will be successful, there is still a cognitive difference between ordinary families and cadre families. What ordinary people think is promising is that their children have good character.
, Honor your parents. As for the specific fame and fortune, it’s good to be able to go up, but if you can’t go up, you won’t be forced to do so. As for whoever uses dishonorable means to achieve his goals, he will be spurned and severely punished once his parents find out.
.But parents will never be indifferent because their children make mistakes. They will do everything possible to get their children back on track and become an upright person."
"My own family is like this. The reason why I was arrested was because my biological father reported me. But I don't hate him, because he didn't want to give up on me, but to save me. Look at me now, my family
They are very concerned about me and don’t mention anything about the past. Their only hope is that I can be a good person. As long as I can do this, they will unconditionally support whatever else I want to do. Don’t say that I wash pig intestines, even if
Even if I pick up excrement and sweep the streets, they won't feel ashamed of me. As for others, does that matter to me?"
"But on the contrary, cadre families have different requirements for their children. Since the sense of hierarchy is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people from the work unit to the family, everything in their lives is determined by their official status. Therefore, these parents have been instilling in their children from an early age that they must be the elite.
Awareness. They are used to using test scores, school reviews and certificates of merit as the criteria for evaluating children. Without these, even if a child is good in other aspects, he will still be a worthless child in the eyes of his parents."
"And many people are accustomed to treating their children as subordinates and asking them to act according to their own baton. If I want to be a soldier, my son must be a soldier. If I want to be a diplomat, my son must be proficient in several foreign languages. If you disobey the slightest bit, you will be punished.
Severe punishment. Isn't this what Yang Weifan is like? He originally wanted to learn painting, but he was forced to join the army. He had no right to choose his future and could only be under the supervision of his parents.
"If the children really make mistakes, they will be punished even more severely. In my labor camp, there was a cadre kid who worked at Beijing Film Studio. He came in because he had a fight with another cadre kid over his girlfriend.
As a result, his family was deeply ashamed of him. In order not to affect the political profile of other family members, his father actually drew a clear line with him when he was on parole for medical treatment and when he needed the most help from his family and pushed him out into the society.
Make a living on your own."
"Actually, what I mean is that the difference between ordinary people and the children of cadres is not just about blood. The fundamental difference between them lies in the environment in which they grew up. Most of the people are mediocre people who are content and happy, and there will be no obvious hierarchy in the interactions between people.
Differences. As for the children of cadres, hierarchical consciousness is ubiquitous in interpersonal relationships. Except for those whose parents are too doting, others must be good and successful, otherwise they will have no place in life, and their lives will be
It will seriously fade. Think about it, how can people in these two living conditions have a common language? So in real life, there are not many children of civilians and children of cadres who become friends, let alone start a family together...
…”
Hong Yanwu's words almost made Xuan Ye feel uncomfortable, but although their words were harsh, they were objective facts that were common in her life, which made it difficult for her to find the words to refute several times.
In the end, after much thought, she could only say, "What you said is too absolute! Aren't you and Yang Weifan friends? Aren't we friends? And my parents are not what you said. They are very open-minded.
I often say that I can do whatever I want. Even including...including...the person I choose to live with in the future...as long as he has more courage and can make progress..."
At this point, the topic came back again, and Xuan Ye couldn't help but look shy again, and her girlish feelings were clearly revealed.
But Hong Yanwu found it a bit difficult, so he frowned and sighed. After thinking about it, he changed his angle and continued.
"Actually, I also admit that there are always individuals and exceptions in any group. Otherwise, among the cadres' children that I hate the most, there would not be alternative elements like Yang Weifan and girls like you who are kind and helpful.
Of course, your parents are probably not bad either. Just looking at you, I know that your parents must be extraordinary and of very high quality..."
These words made Xuan Ye happy, and she hurriedly agreed.
"Yes, yes, my parents are so nice. They are the most approachable. They are very kind to the guards, aunts and chefs at home. In the past, my father often participated in activities organized by our school, no matter what
They are all kind, kind and treat children from any family equally..."
"But even so, cadres are still cadres, and ordinary people are still ordinary people. Certain group limitations and laws cannot be violated or broken by anyone. They are like fish in the sea and birds in the sky.
, we must follow the laws of nature, birds cannot enter the water, and fish cannot fly into the sky."
It turned out that Hong Yanwu was just a feint, and his sudden U-turn immediately dampened Ye Xuan's excitement, and she almost jumped up in excitement.
"What's wrong with you? Why do you keep changing your words back and forth? You make me really want to curse..."
"What I'm talking about is objective reality. Don't rush to deny it. I can prove it by just saying it. Didn't you say that your parents are liberal? Then do you dare to take me home to meet your parents?"
Xuan Ye was a little angry and answered without thinking.
"Why don't you dare to do this? How about you go to my house tomorrow and I will introduce you to them?"
Hong Yanwu shook his head.
"Then how do you introduce me? Tell the truth? Say that I am a prisoner of labor reform, that I wash pig intestines in a snack bar, that I teach you diving, and even take you to the park..."
Ye Xuan couldn't help but widen her eyes, and finally realized something was wrong.
"Oh my God! If you say that, then my father will be furious and lock me up!"
Hong Yanwu looked proud this time.
"Look, you know it yourself, which explains the problem. You can't even introduce me to them..."
Ye Xuan was silent for a while. After a long time, she whispered, "In the final analysis, it's still a matter of work. If you want to change jobs, I can introduce you..."
But Hong Yanwu still firmly denied it.
"No! You still don't understand, that can't change the fundamental problem. People can change their clothes and jobs, but they can't change their family background, growth experience and ideology. You are still young, and you can't imagine how many problems two people have to face together.
.Don’t think that liking each other is everything. That’s too childish.”
"We might as well imagine that if this kind of feeling really exists. If a poor boy enters the family of a senior cadre, can he not feel guilty? Can he not feel inferior? No matter how hard he works, he can't catch up with what others can accomplish with just one sentence.
Son. No matter how outstanding he is, he will be said to be taking advantage of nepotism in the future. How much pressure does this kind of family bring to him? How can a cadre family that is used to judging heroes by success or failure look down on a poor boy?
They will inevitably regard the poor boy as a speculator with a purpose and always be on guard. Will they be willing to introduce such a son-in-law to their relatives and friends? Will others make fun of them for it? "
"The same goes for the converse, how do the 'princesses' of cadre families get along with the male family members of ordinary people? It is inevitable that their living habits, speech and behavior will not match each other. The most important thing is that the status difference is too big, which will also cause mutual harm.
The unequal relationship causes the human relationship to change. How does a man feel when he sees his parents treating the "princess" with caution? If his family has been cared for by the woman's family, how will he directly behave in the future?
Can you afford to stand up? His parents will also worry about their son being wronged, and are full of worries and worries. Under various circumstances, it is strange that the relationship between two people can be maintained. Even if there is some good things at the beginning, it will be destroyed in the end..."
Ye Xuan had a headache, "What you said... is too complicated! I haven't thought about it, I haven't thought about it..."
Then she started to cry, "Is it really destined that we can't be together just because of family differences? How could it be? We are of the same family, isn't that the dregs of feudalism?"
Hong Yanwu quickly struck while the iron was hot.
"The words 'well-matched' may sound a bit feudal, but that is the experience summed up by our predecessors. There is a certain truth to 'marry a woman from a low-class family, marry a daughter from a high-class family'. I have been saying this for a long time, that is
Let me tell you, it is not that it is impossible for me to be with you, but that it is impossible for all the children of ordinary people to be with you. Only by looking for your partner among the children of cadres will you be recognized by the family and both parties will feel that
Only when you are comfortable can you have a good result.”
After breaking it apart and crumbling it, it was all in vain to go around in such a big circle. At this time, Ye Xuan finally said the words that Hong Yanwu wanted to hear the most.
"Could it be that I really misunderstood myself? You didn't treat me...you didn't treat me...from the beginning..."
Hong Yanwu felt relaxed all over. He quickly filled people in with good words.
"To be honest, it's true. Your personal conditions are too good. You are the apple of such a family's eye. I'm not a fool. I know how can we have any wishful thinking when we live in one place and one day? Thank you for your understanding. Can you?
You treat us as equals as friends, and you are so willing to help, so I thought that I would treat you well and make you happy to play in the south. I really didn't expect that it would cause trouble to you. I'm really sorry. But.
In my mind, you are a generous and kind-hearted person. You can understand other people’s difficulties, so you probably won’t blame me..."
Ye Xuan's eyes burst into tears for a moment, "I don't blame you, but I... what if I can't forget you? I tried, I didn't want to see you in the first place, but I can't..."
There was no way to avoid the words at this point. Hong Yanwu could only use his final move.
He smiled with a smile on his face and spoke in a relaxed manner.
"Don't say that. You think so because you are young and have a relatively blank relationship experience. In the future, as you get to know more people, you will find more and more outstanding people. It's like you have never eaten candy.
People, when they taste some soft white sugar, they think it is the best thing. But after they eat fruit candy, plum candy, milk peanut candy and chocolate, they realize that there are so many good candies in the world. So your appreciation order
I'm flattered, but it's really unnecessary. I'm at the level of a 'Guandong candy' at best, a popular thing, very rough. Moreover, I have already found my favorite 'candy', and we will get married next year..."
Ye Xuan's tears were all suppressed by surprise.
"You, you already have a partner?"
Hong Yanwu continued to pretend to be a grandson, looking very coy.
"Oh...she's good at everything, but she's a few years older than me, so I've always been embarrassed to say anything about this..."
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