By the early 1980s, as a person born in the 1950s, as a member of the generation who went to the mountains and countryside, in terms of age, we were already at the age where we should start a family.
Even the oldest "old three" group of people have been delayed very late under the call of "late marriage and late childbearing".
And if "getting married and establishing a career" is taken as the main symbol of a person's "socialization process", judging from the current social environment, most of the educated youth have returned to the city in the past few years. After returning to the city, they either go to school
Either quit the class or become an individual.
Then, whether the "karma" is good or bad, it is already considered "established". As the saying goes, men should marry when they are young, and women should marry when they are young. It is natural to consider the next step.
It's just that this generation is a generation with a crazy "explosion" in population. From birth to death, their lives have to face all the difficulties and problems caused by too many people of the same age. Every life is important
Every step is destined to become a harsh test that makes them feel embarrassed.
Getting married is no exception for them, and they also need to solve many practical problems.
First of all, there needs to be someone to get married, that is, the "partner", the other half of the family.
But people at that time were full of revolutionary enthusiasm, and social tradition always equated "making a target" with "playing a gangster", so those grown men and women generally had no experience in this kind of thing.
At the same time, because they are getting older, boys and girls are no longer vague, and the purpose is to start a family and live a life. Time seems to be very urgent. How can they not be in a hurry?
To put it bluntly, everyone knows that there are a lot of "window papers" around, but the problem is how to find the "window" and which "window" to "poke".
In fact, the step of "finding the window" was easier to solve. Although there was no Internet, no QQ, and no mobile phones at that time, there were relatives and friends who could introduce me.
Precisely because it is a common phenomenon, everyone wants to be single, so at this time, the number of people seeking sex and sex began to increase in society. As soon as they get off work, people in various units rush to make appointments.
It is the last step, who to choose, that becomes the biggest obstacle.
People at that time did not have the same concept as today. They were cautious and prudent about marriage. Although divorce is legally possible, this issue was criticized in society and there was a lot of criticism. No one thought that with the "regret medicine", they could just have it.
.Everyone still regards marriage as a "one-and-done" deal, and should be picky when it should be.
In this regard, it would be easier if two people with different conditions get together. Because they are basically self-aware, they can accommodate each other more pragmatically. If you give in and I take a step back, good things will happen.
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I'm just afraid that for employers who don't have self-awareness or who have really good personal conditions, there will be many strange and varied reasons for rejection.
For example, women pick men.
"This man's spirit is polluted, and he is indifferent to the heroic deeds in the newspaper." "He actually doesn't know who Shu Ting is. He hasn't read any of her poems." "He hasn't grown up yet, and he always hangs out with his nephew.
"Watching cartoons", "His parents love to play mahjong, is that something good people play? It's gambling", "Liu Wenzheng's songs are so great, he doesn't like listening to men's songs at all", etc.
The same goes for men who choose women.
"I'm pretty, but I always think my work clothes are dirty. It's too much trouble. Can the worker's work clothes not be dirty?", "This is romantic enough, but I love dancing too much. I'm under strict investigation now, don't give me any more for this."
"Catch her." "Although she has a good temper, she has five brothers.
Who can bear it if the couple really quarrels and calls on each other?" "This is a pretentious person. He considers himself the son of a cadre and despises workers and peasants." "That guy is really familiar. When we meet, he asks me if I have any overseas connections. You
Are you looking for me or overseas connections?"
Using this standard, where is it so easy to find the right one? I'm afraid you won't wake up unless you choose yourself as a "ruduiercai" with wilting roots and yellow leaves.
Secondly, starting a family requires money, which was also a very acute problem when the reform and opening up was first launched.
Times have indeed changed. This is not like the days of "sports", when two bedrolls were put together and they became a family. No one laughed, and there was no comparison.
Although the society's pursuit of household appliances has not yet reached its climax and ferocity at this time, TV has already knocked on the door of people's desires and has become the most desirable item. Especially color TVs, which make anyone see
There is nothing that can't be moved.
Nowadays, people have a compensatory mentality. Who doesn’t want their marriage to be more dignified? It can be regarded as a happy ending to the youth that has lost money.
But it is unrealistic to start from reality. In the early 1980s, the average worker's salary rose from 41.5 yuan to more than 60 yuan, which seemed to have gradually increased by 50%. However, after working hard for a year, he could only save a few dollars.
One hundred yuan. Compared with the new consumption concepts and consumer goods brought by the outside wind, it immediately became sluggish. This is a great embarrassment for people in the general class.
Of course, if you can't afford high-end home appliances right now, you can wait. At worst, the couple will save money and buy them slowly in the future. But furniture is a must-have item that must be purchased first.
It sounds very philistine and tacky that a girl will be willing to get married no matter how many "legs" she has.
But put yourself in the shoes of an educated youth who jumped in the queue and returned to the capital, and finally got married. The woman wants it, the man wants it, and there is nothing wrong with getting married once in a lifetime.
Compared with today, when we often spend our parents' money on ostentation and buying a house. At that time, using the money saved by scrimping on food and clothing to build a small family was really both tough and tragic.
The popular color at the moment is yellow for the floor. In addition to the wine cabinet, the necessary furniture also includes sofas. Since the furniture still requires a ticket, many people hire carpenters to make it. Carpenters can be seen working everywhere on the streets and empty roads.
And many ingenious people even do it themselves because of limited funds. They can use some springs and sponges to make a pair of simple sofas with exposed armrests. Then they cover them with a "mountain tiger" or a "welcoming pine"
The patterned thread blanket looks quite similar.
But no matter how much you save, you still have to pay most of the money yourself.
Since people who had only been working for a few years had very limited savings, and it was common at that time for families to have many children, and brothers and sisters were all getting married, how much could they expect from their parents?
Then many people will have to pay debts for their marriages, causing famine.
Finally, in addition to people and money, there is another most critical problem, the lack of housing.
If there is no "person", you can find it in various ways. If you are short of money, you can borrow it or collect it together, and then find a way to pay it back slowly. But if you are short of housing, there is no way.
So since the "marriage wave" came, the heads of the housing management departments of various units began to encounter a mixture of ice and fire. Some people smiled at them, some scolded them, and some even beat them when they got emotional.
Some families also quarreled endlessly because of this incident, and their relatives turned against each other. Some people even fought with their neighbors because of building small houses.
In short, the importance of the house and the conflicts caused by it are becoming increasingly obvious.
As for Shui Qing and Hong Yanwen, in terms of marriage needs, they can be compared with the "old three".
They are all educated youths born in the 1969 generation. They are all 26 this year, and their age is not much better than that of the "older 3rd generation". It is inevitable that their families will be worried about them.
If we talk about their respective conditions, both of them are pretty good.
Not to mention they are all college students, one is a handsome girl, and the other is well-groomed.
Shui Qing's income is nearly double that of ordinary people. Hong Yanwen's family has a solid foundation.
Having a house with clear water is a bit of a disadvantage, because any company gives priority to male employees. But if she can really find a colleague in the company to marry, dual-employment will become an advantage. Besides, "Polar Bear" is better than those who don't have employee housing at all. Isn’t the unit strong?
Needless to say, the Hong family has dozens of empty houses. How can Hong Yanwen be given a yard of his own?
To be honest, if Hong Yanwen and Shui Qing hadn't grown up together and had been neighbors for so long, no one would have the slightest intention to meet each other. From all aspects, the two of them are quite suitable.
In fact, it's not that no one wanted to promote this matter. In 1977, when the two of them were admitted to college and returned to the city, several neighbors talked about it half-jokingly.
But both families knew that their neighbors had a lot of trouble with their in-laws, and they didn't want to cause trouble. After asking their children, Shui Qing and Hong Yanwen all said they should put their studies first, and they all shook their heads, so they never mentioned the matter again. Pass.
So it can be seen from this point that most people are not optimistic about many things. Everything is fate.
I am afraid that these two people are absolute idealists emotionally because they have read too many books. They are far more delicate, sensitive, and unique than others. If they cannot find someone who is like them and makes them truly attracted to them, with their In terms of temperament, I'm afraid I would rather not get married than give in.
In addition, even in the eyes of their respective families, these two people are not perfect.
Because Shui Qing has Shui Xiaoying, everything is focused on her children. In reality, she not only needs to consider Xiaoying's feelings, but she also doesn't want to have children after marriage, which will definitely deter most men.
Although she was known as the "factory flower" in "Polar Bear", considering the concepts and ethics of people at that time, how many men were willing to make such a big sacrifice for other people's children?
And Hong Yanwen is also in a state of being emotionally hurt, career blocked, and being reassigned. Now he is content in Fangshan County, temporarily studying behind closed doors to relieve his depression. How can he fall in love with a girl in the capital in this situation?
On the other hand, according to the current popular concepts, since he knew that he would return to Beijing sooner or later, he would naturally not provoke the girls around him or accept other people's tender feelings.
Therefore, no matter Shui Qing or Hong Yanwen, if they want to solve their personal problems in their current situation, they may still have to wait a while.
But things in the world are so complicated, and many problems are not based on people's will at all.
Aunt Shui put aside why she was worried about Shui Qing, but a sudden accident shocked the entire Hong family.
Hong Yanwen is actually getting married. And it’s the enemy’s daughter, Xu Chongya.
The second group has been opened, group number: 6086400