During the days when Hong Yanwu was imprisoned, there was a time when the curtains that had been sewn together came apart, revealing a gap.
Through that light, he could see the branches of the trees in the garden downstairs. His favorite thing was to see the "visitors" on the branches, sometimes a few sparrows, sometimes a magpie.
Once, two squirrels climbed up a branch with fluffy tails. They chased each other and squeaked, seeming to be communicating emotionally. Then, one squirrel took the fruit from the tree and shared it with the other.
…
Although he couldn't tell the difference between male and female, and couldn't understand the language of the squirrels, he was still sure that they were a family. But just as he was lost in thought, a woman's hand suddenly reached out in front of him and tightened the curtains.
The woman came to bring him porridge as a favor, but she happened to discover the secret that he kept staring at. Without any delay, she immediately used needle and thread to sew the curtains back up to make them airtight, and in order to punish him, she also took the porridge away.
.
He didn't care, it was unappetizing anyway. But he still cried. Just one accident destroyed his only remaining connection with the outside world.
After crying, he realized that he missed home.
He should also have relatives, everyone does, right? But what about his relatives?
Forgetting the past is tantamount to betraying oneself. He tried his best to recall, but the distant memories were very blurry.
In the darkness, many past events gathered together like water, and the bits and pieces of life gradually turned into pictures. But everything I remembered was so scattered and incredible, both familiar and strange.
One moment, it was him sitting on the roof watching the stars. Another moment, it was him holding a broken cattail leaf fan desperately fanning the thick smoke coming out of the coal stove. Another moment, it was him kicking and punching and riding his bicycle across Sijiu City. Another moment, it was him.
He was handcuffed and put into a prison car under the tight security of the armed police. One moment, he was fighting with others and overturning the table. The next moment, he was drinking and drinking freely in a restaurant with money in hand...
There is only one image that left a deep impression on me.
In the east courtyard of Furuli Guanyin Temple, sitting on the high steps under the door is a little girl less than six years old.
She was wearing a blue cotton-padded jacket with plain flowers, and her two pigtails were blown back by the wind. She also put one hand on her white forehead to block the setting sun. Even in winter, she would
Every day I sit on this high step, looking at the far intersection with my big, round black eyes, waiting for him to come home from school.
This girl is very familiar. Who is she?
Is it his sister? Yes, she is his sister, his only biological sister!
He remembered. He remembered the intimacy with his sister, and his sister's attachment to him.
When he was a child, his younger sister was his little follower. When he appeared in the alley after school, she would call his third brother in a tender voice, jump over to him, and then grab his dirty hands and run together.
Entering the house, my sister's white and tender hands are clear and full of warm flesh.
In my mind, my younger sister's childish voice came out.
"Third brother, third brother, third brother..."
"Third brother, you eat." My sister stretched out her little hand and forced a piece of candy dough into his mouth.
"Third brother, I'm afraid, don't..." My sister ran to avoid her, while he was chasing her around the yard with a hanged ghost (a native dialect referring to the larvae of the Sophora japonica moth) in his hand, like a dog chasing a rabbit.
"Third brother, it's so sweet." My sister bit into the big red dates he had just picked and smiled. All the dates were pocketed in his vest.
"Third brother, does it hurt? I'll put some 'two hundred and two' on you. It'll heal quickly." My sister applied the red liquid on his chest. His bare back was scratched by the jujube tree, and he gritted his teeth in pain.
Grinning.
"Third brother, you are so awesome." My sister looked at him with admiration. He had just avenged his sister and beat the "adze head" who bullied her in the alley. Although he also had black eyes and looked like he had been pulled out.
The hairy black-eyed chicken...
"Dad, please don't hit the third brother... I threw the orange peel on the aunt beside you..." My sister cried with tears in her eyes, trying to cover up his mistake...
Waves of warmth filled his heart, and he felt so comfortable that it seemed to melt his whole body.
He remembered that he did have relatives. And not only his sister, but also his parents and brothers.
But when his father's sickly and thin face appeared in his mind, he suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his heart.
He immediately remembered that it was because of his father's report that he fell into the hands of the police and was sent to a labor camp.
In the unprecedented ten years, the "Black Five" family structure has brought too many disasters to the Hong family. But just as the "movement" was coming to an end, Hong Yanwu was hunted down by the police for beating his son, who was an official.
.Originally, he planned to go home and see his mother before flying away, but he didn’t
Thinking of his father, who had always been timid and afraid of getting into trouble, he chose to report to the police station because he was afraid that his family would be implicated. So, Hong Yanwu, who had fled over the wall in a hurry, was surrounded by the police and workers' militia brought by his father under the wall.
.This moment is the last meeting between their father and son.
Hong Yanwu still remembers the scene at that time.
He fell into an ambush as soon as he jumped off the wall. More than a dozen worker militiamen appeared out of nowhere and pressed him to the ground in an instant. Then, a policeman came over and handcuffed him behind his back.
Then, in front of his father, the militiamen lifted him up and twisted him away without hesitation.
He turned back with resentment. Under the wall, his father, who had "killed relatives for justice", was still standing there, his eyes full of sorrow.
"I don't have a father! I jumped out of a rock!"
He suddenly jumped to his feet and shouted, almost breaking free from the hands of the militiamen. The shouts echoed throughout the alley.
Under the street lamp, my father shed tears on his clothes. He bent over in pain, covered his chest with his hands and squatted down.
He couldn't shout anymore and cried. He even wanted to go back to help his father, but he resented his father's ruthlessness.
While he was hesitating, without another chance, several policemen pressed his head together and forced him into the motorcycle sidecar.
Soon, the police station sentenced him to three years of forced labor and sent him to Chadian. While in the labor camp, he thought about it day and night every day, but his family never came to see him. When he couldn't help but write to his family,
When I received the letter, I unexpectedly heard someone talking behind my back.
"That's weird. His damn father sent him away and he still wants to meet him?"
"That's right, even his mother has to listen to his father. It's no use writing letters. What a fool."
These words made his longing for his family immediately turn into a deeper resentment against his father. He stubbornly tore up the letter, thinking that it must be, as others said, that no relatives came to see him because of his father's obstruction.
During the Great Tangshan Earthquake, Chadian was also affected by the earthquake. At this time, because of his active rescue and meritorious service, his period of reeducation through labor was reduced to one year. However, after he was released from reeducation through labor (referring to the release of reeducation through labor), out of hatred for his father, he
But instead of going home, he chose to wander around for two years. When he entered the house again, he unexpectedly learned that his father had just died of illness.
His mother said that his father contracted a leg disease shortly after he was sent to the labor camp and was bedridden. Because his father needed constant care and the family’s money had to be used to buy medicine, the family could not visit him. The mother also said that she was deeply affected by the disease.
My father, who was suffering from illness, died with his name in mind. What worried my father the most when he was dying was that he was worried that he would go astray.
Looking at his father's portrait, he felt lost. All the resentment in his heart suddenly disappeared, but turned into a more painful regret...
The peristalsis of the intestines and stomach suddenly woke Hong Yanwu up from the past, and his stomach growled again. In order to feel more comfortable, he found a pillow and put it on his stomach. He had experience with this, and it would be fine if he was overly hungry.
At this moment, what he misses most is not the delicacies such as abalone and lobster, but the ordinary meals that his mother often cooked, such as sliced soup, stir-fried dumplings, boiled dumplings, and noodles with soy sauce.
My mother's cooking method is very traditional. She eats everything according to the seasons and never messes with things. She cooks whatever is delicious. She bakes spring cakes at the beginning of spring and braised noodles for birthday celebrations. Scrambled eggs with Chinese toon in short spring and braised Yuqian noodles in the hot summer.
Braised kohlrabi, salted eggplant, fried glutinous rice dumplings, braised lentil noodles, cold autumn paste, dried fruits, grilled eggplant, stir-fried green and white snake, warm quince mixed with cabbage in the cold winter, braised sea rice with green onions, boiled meatballs
Cabbage, sauerkraut and white meat. Chinese New Year rice noodles and meat, croquettes, pork skin jelly, mustard dumplings, fried croquettes, eight-treasure rice...
In these imaginations full of color, fragrance and color, Hong Yanwu seemed to see his mother busy in the small kitchen again. He was half confused and walked into his memory again.
Once a person is thrown into a labor camp, he becomes a piece of shit. Not to mention finding a serious public job, it is even difficult for the street to arrange a temporary worker.
After moving back home, he quickly became discouraged because he repeatedly encountered obstacles in finding a job. He only used fighting and drinking every day to vent his depression, and became a frequent visitor to the detention center. His eldest brother and second brother were not kind to him, and they talked about him all day long.
Obey the law and don't let yourself down. Although he understood their good intentions, it made him see again that he was different from others, and not just in the eyes of outsiders.
His mother was so anxious that she shed tears, so that he would avoid getting into trouble. Her mother spent all her money to buy him wine and meat, hoping to keep him at home with good food. But he still couldn't stay at home and kept making noises to go out every day.
When his mother really couldn't stop him, she would just put money and food stamps into his hands and tell him repeatedly, "Eat enough, eat well, drink less, don't fight, and come back soon."
And whenever he came home drunk late at night, his mother would stay up all night waiting for him. It wasn't until she took off his clothes, wiped his face, and put him to bed that his mother could sleep peacefully. In his drunken haze, he only remembered
The mother's face was full of exhaustion, anger and distress. The mother always looked at him helplessly and sighed deeply, "Oh, what's the use of raising a son..."
He has indeed become the biggest burden on his mother. In order to provide for his food and drink, her mother has to rely on cardboard boxes to make up for the household expenses after get off work every day. Sometimes because she stays up late, she will keep rubbing the corners of her eyes with her hands under the light, causing her eyes to drop. Some shining things. But even if he saw them, he was indifferent, and he never asked a question. He did nothing at home, and had long been accustomed to his mother doing the dirty work, and even the dirty clothes had to be washed by his mother.
In these careless and chaotic days of his, his mother had no regrets about this kind of hard work. In fact, his mother's request was very simple. She just wanted the whole family to reunite and live in peace. But even with such a small request, he
He also failed to satisfy her. Soon, he was formally arrested for injuring someone while drunk.
When two police officers handcuffed him at home and escorted him out of the house, he saw his mother's confused and distressed eyes. Until then, she still didn't believe that her son could do it after such a painful lesson.
Became a criminal again.
His mother burst into tears. She didn't wipe them away, and she didn't cry. She just let the tears soak her clothes. The breeze blew her hair, and he realized for the first time that his mother's hair was already gray.
It was not easy for the mother. Her red and swollen fingers and haggard face were extremely dazzling at that moment.
Full of shame, he could only lower his head and silently walk past his mother. Then, with the neighbors dumbfounded, he got on the police jeep specially brought for him. When the red police lights sounded the piercing siren,
Finally, the car drove him quickly to the Xuanwu Branch.
Later he found out that just as the police car left, his mother chased him out of the house. As she looked at the military green jeep going away, her body and spirit exceeded the limit of what she could bear. The neighbors screamed in surprise.
Amidst the sound, she held on to the courtyard door and collapsed.
His mother passed away in the hospital. When he was in prison, he was shocked to hear the news of his mother's death. He couldn't help banging his head against the wall of the cell until his fellow inmates called the prison guard. His face was covered in blood. That night,
He stood alone all night facing the moonlight outside the iron window without anyone interfering. Everyone thought he was mentally disturbed and had been stimulated. At dawn, he fell ill and had a fever of forty degrees.
After the mother's funeral, the eldest brother and the second brother took their sister to the detention center to deliver bedding to him. In the reception room, through the iron window, the brothers met each other.
The eldest brother has always had a bad temper. As soon as he saw him, he immediately threw his luggage on the iron fence in front of him.
"Asshole! You are a disaster! It's best not to come out for the rest of your life!"
The second brother's eyes were all bloodshot, and he pointed his finger at his nose and cursed in front of the prison guard.
"You are not human! You are so angry, Mom! We will never have a person like you in our family!"
Among several relatives, only his younger sister couldn't bear to blame him. She just stood aside pitifully, shedding tears. She also held a net bag in her hand, which contained the tomatoes he liked to eat.
And in his clenched fists, his nails were dug deeply into his palms.
He couldn't tell at all. Could he explain to them that he didn't want to fight at all and that the other party insisted on doing it?
What's more, even he thinks he is indeed a bastard.
He knew very well that his mother had been working hard to continue to contribute to the family under the fear of many years of political movements, the blow of her husband's death, the hardships of life, and the torment of a bumpy fate. And when she finally discovered that no matter how much she paid,
It cannot be avoided that when his son goes astray, he will inevitably feel extremely disappointed.
Yes, it was entirely because of him that my mother's energy was exhausted, her spirit collapsed, her muscles and bones were withered, and her blood dried up.
He is the culprit responsible for the death of his mother...
Hong Yanwu felt his neck was wet. When he woke up, he realized that there were tears on his face and the pillow was wet.
He wiped away his tears and stared at the empty darkness for a while, then turned over and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to recall the past, but he didn't expect that as soon as he closed his eyes, his mind would become active involuntarily.
People are like this, painful things are always the clearest. The worst thing is, the more painful a person is, the more heart-wrenching things they think of, and the more things they wish to forget, the more clearly they will emerge...
During his sentence, no one in his family saw him except his sister.
After being released from prison, he returned home directly.
But what he didn't expect was that the second brother actually held the door tightly and refused to let him in. His face was full of disgust and disgust, as if he was a god of plague. Thanks to his sister-in-law and sister who spoke nice words for him, he reluctantly pulled away and let the second brother go.
He came in and made a makeshift bed for him in the kitchen.
Unexpectedly, after the eldest brother came home from get off work, he also got angry and said nothing to acknowledge his younger brother who was so angry with his mother. Only then did he realize that the two older brothers' grudges and complaints against him were irreconcilable. They would never forget it. , it was because of him that my mother overworked herself and died of a broken heart.
The eldest brother completely ignored the dissuasion of his sister-in-law and sister, and invited the second brother to smash the bed given to him, and even threw his luggage on the street. Finally, the two brothers threw him a hundred yuan and asked him to pack up his bed quickly.
Leave and fend for yourself.
Not counting all these, what hurt his self-esteem the most was that his two brothers actually scolded him for being disobedient in public, with many neighbors watching.
Is he a rebellious person? Are these the words of his brothers or the words of his deceased mother?
If they did this, wouldn't it be equivalent to making the secret of his mother's death public? Then how would he go on in the future?
He was so embarrassed, as if someone had stripped him naked, and he couldn't help but feel a conflict that wanted to destroy everything.
If he really wanted to take action, he wouldn't be able to tie the two brothers together. But he... couldn't.
He is indeed ashamed of his parents who passed away!
In the end, he didn't make any fuss or make any noise, but silently picked up the money from the ground and chose to leave.
Before leaving, the eldest brother said harshly again, "From now on, you have nothing to do with us or this family. Don't ever come back."
His heart was full of bitterness. In the contemptuous eyes of the neighbors and the sobbing cries of his sister, he left silently, completely becoming a bereaved dog.
But without his home, where can he go?
There is absolutely nowhere to go.
At this moment, society is undergoing a "crackdown" campaign. Among the "buddies" he knows, except for those who "stick to the wall" (slang words, shot) and those who "run away", the rest have entered the "circle". Now outside
There are only a bunch of "babies" from the past, wandering around half-heartedly. No matter how "ruined" he is, he can't go to those juniors and hang out with the crap he once commanded.
After drinking a whole bottle of Erguotou, he walked aimlessly on the street like a zombie. He bumped into many pedestrians and attracted scoldings from others wherever he went.
Some people often say the word "sense of loss", and this is what he felt at this moment, as if he had fallen from a very high mountain, and there was no sense of decline in mid-air.
Originally, he didn't expect his two brothers to be very enthusiastic about him. He just hoped that they would give him a small bed and take care of his meals out of brotherly love. But the eldest brother and the second brother seemed to be afraid of being exposed to the evil in him.
Wei, on what should have been a day of family reunion, I gave him such a great gift that he lost his personality and was kicked out of the house.
No more, not even a home. Except for the experience of being in prison, he has nothing. When a person reaches this level, he really wants to find a crack in the ground to crawl into.
He didn't know how far he had walked until it was dark. He raised his head and looked into the distance, and suddenly saw the dimly lit tall buildings in the distance.
At this moment, he suddenly felt a sense of emotion, feeling that the world would always be so unequal. The "Ten Years Movement" had long passed, and he was no longer a "puppet". But fate still destined him to never be a human being in his life.
He couldn't be a normal person. Then he thought again about the unreasonable truth he had learned in his career as a player - if you can't be a human being, then be a wolf or a bad wolf, but never be a cow.
Horses, pigs and sheep.
Well, since he can't be a human, he will be a wolf. He has to survive, yes, survive!
His unwillingness and rebellious nature made him willing to challenge fate.
At the end of the road, the trace of tenderness left in his heart was replaced by resentment.
Under the illumination of the street lamp, a vicious wolf was reborn. His face was ferocious, his eyes were red, arrogance and anger were burning in his eyes. His only thought was to use unfair means to retaliate for the unfair experience. If he said "
If his illegal behavior during the "Movement" was still passive and ignorant, then this time, he was purely active, crazy and unscrupulous and became a career criminal.
However, when a person intentionally commits a criminal act, it is often not easy to be punished by the law. Because he has a plan, preparations, and even a protective umbrella. And once a person is so bad that others cannot notice, he may even be punished for it.
To praise him is to be regarded as a superior person.
Many years later, contrary to everyone's expectations, he became famous and became a social celebrity. Moreover, when Xinjing Group won the bid for the Caishikou Street reconstruction project, Furuli was also included in the demolition scope, so he even received revenge.
Chance.
He relied on his connections in the demolition office and the land bureau, and used forged documents to sue his two brothers for embezzlement of his parents' inheritance. After winning the lawsuit, he not only legally occupied most of the rights and interests in his parents' property, but also used forced demolition to remove his eldest brother.
The second brother's whole family was kicked out. After this incident, the three brothers completely dissolved their relationship through law. At this time, his only relative was his sister who was the best to him. But he never expected that even
He couldn't maintain this remaining family affection for long.
Two years later, the Land Bureau and the Mining Bureau merged to form the Bureau of Land and Resources. However, Gao Ming got into big trouble for bribing the new Bureau of Land and Resources officials. As a result, the case got involved in an interest dispute among the upper class. In order to clear up the case, the "big shot" late
Gao Ming was reluctant to help. Gao Ming was so anxious that he put most of the responsibility on him. Only then did he realize the disadvantages of being a legal person. He dared not fight with him for the legal person because he had been ambushing him like this.
.
In order not to be a victim, he was really anxious and had to do everything possible to save himself. After using all his methods, he finally found a way. Director Xiao of the 19th Division of the Municipal Bureau (later the Economic Crime Investigation Corps) was his sister.
His classmate had pursued his sister back then. So, under the guise of his sister, he secretly came to the door and begged Director Xiao to let him go.
To his surprise, Director Xiao unexpectedly agreed to help. The only condition he offered was that in addition to 20 million in benefits, his sister, who was married and had children, would also have to sleep with him for the night. He changed his mind as soon as he heard this.
However, Director Xiao said bluntly that his feelings for his sister have not changed and have become the most unforgettable regret in his heart, so this point is absolutely non-negotiable.
After he returned home, he didn't sleep a wink all night, smoked three packs of cigarettes, and lost a lot of weight.
At first, he wanted to break the pot, and planned to simply kill Gao Ming and Director Xiao, so as to make a death blow. But as he gradually calmed down, he realized that the good times had passed and he was no longer the outlaw he used to be.
Next, he thought he might as well run away. But most of the company's funds were invested in the project, how much could he take away?
After thinking about it, he really felt sorry for the family business. So, while his brother-in-law was taking the children back to his hometown abroad, he quietly walked in on his sister's door.
What is money? Money is a bastard that degrades people, buryes humanity, and loses his reason. Money makes him stupid, does not know how to cherish it, and loses his normal emotions. He loves money too much, so on the balance between his sister and money
, he eventually turned to money.
In order to make his sister agree to this disgusting request, he knelt straight in front of her.
My sister was stunned by his earth-shattering kneeling, and even more so because of this once-in-a-lifetime forced scene. When she woke up, her first sentence was to ask in despair, "Are you still my third brother? How could you do this?"
He knocked his head on the ground, not daring to look up.
"Man, how come you have such a bad heart! Man, how can you deceive others! Man, you have no shame and no conscience! No matter how nice you are to him, it's useless. In the end, he will make you jump into the fire pit! Man, you are so heartless.
Already..."
My sister murmured words that could only be spoken when her heart was broken. She turned from sobbing to howling, and from crying to giggling. She talked all night, cried all night, and laughed all night.
He didn't interrupt his sister, but he just couldn't kneel down. He knocked his head to the ground hard, and the ground was stained with blood.
My sister was finally forced to agree.
A few days later, when he sent his sister to the hotel where Director Xiao had booked a room, when he said goodbye in the lobby, there was only indifference on her face.
She told him with despair and exhaustion that she had nothing to worry about. After this incident, she was unable to help him anymore. She was sad to see him, so it was better not to see him from now on, and not to contact him again.
His sister's gibbering tone was unusually calm and soft, which made his heart tingle. He stared blankly at his sister's back as she disappeared into the elevator in the lobby, and couldn't help but shudder.
The case was finally covered up and he kept everything. But his sister changed her phone number from that day on and could no longer be contacted. He was dumbfounded.
Moreover, the matter did not end there. What he did not expect was that Director Xiao continued to harass and entangle his sister after that, and eventually his brother-in-law discovered the clues. The brother-in-law soon divorced his sister and gave up the child.
He was also taken away. However, the deeply affected sister became mentally disturbed and fell to her death.
The last sister he saw in the morgue was a smashed corpse...
Hong Yanwu suddenly woke up from his trance. His lips were trembling and tears were streaming down his face.
Everything he recalled shocked him deeply. He was a sinner through and through!
Someone has said that a person who has not cried bitterly in the middle of the night is not qualified to talk about life. What about his life? How can he talk about it to others?
People, never let down your loved ones at any time. Otherwise, you will regret it for the rest of your life, unless he is not a human being at all.