As mentioned before, if we follow the ancient saying of our ancestors that "men should marry when they are young, women should marry when they are young", then everyone born in the 1950s has already entered this ranks.
Therefore, with the arrival of the peak of educated youth returning to the city, a nationwide peak of marriage registration soon occurred.
According to data, taking Beijing as an example, the number of registered marriage couples in the city in 1981 was 198,858, compared with 69,679 couples in 1977, an increase of 1.5 times.
In 1982, there were 134,934 pairs.
Although this number has declined, it is still nearly twice that of 1977, which is equivalent to an average of nearly 200 couples forming a small family for every 10,000 people.
From this we can see how lively the situation among older men and women is scrambling to "leave singles" during this period.
I have to sigh, that was really the golden age for cooks and carpenters.
But behind this excitement, there is also haste and compromise.
In view of the serious lack of understanding of the opposite sex between marriageable men and women at that time, many of them were over or approaching thirty years old.
Moreover, in the ideology of ordinary people, marriage is still regarded as a need of social tradition, and the consciousness of "carrying on the family line" is the absolute mainstream.
So from a practical point of view, even if it calls for freedom of love, the new era of arranged marriage has long since passed.
But in reality, the proportion of romance is still small.
However, there are not many disguised arrangements based on the opinions of parents and elders.
This is called having no choice. We have neither time nor experience. How can we talk about being in love?
As long as the person looks decent, doesn't feel like a bad person, and doesn't feel offended after being around him for a while, that's fine.
The most important thing is left to the parents to judge.
Old people have a lot to do.
It is necessary to find out whether the other party's unit is for the whole people or collective? What is the position? What type of work? What kind of housing? Does the employer have any serious illness? Are there any elderly people to support at home? Do you smoke? Do you drink? Have you attended junior high school or high school? Your temper.
Is it docile or irritable? It even includes whether the walking posture is splayed and whether the legs are of average length.
To put it bluntly, the main thing they care about is whether they can "live with others".
Therefore, after decades of silent companionship and a family full of children and grandchildren, people of this generation will often give the answer of "get married first, fall in love later, and develop feelings through mutual support" when asked by their children about their love story.
Of course, as long as we can grow old together and reach the same destination through different paths, it is another kind of happiness.
But we have to say that for the two parties involved, when they took this step when they were young.
In fact, I don’t feel confident in my heart, and I feel a little bit regretful and disappointed, as well as doubtful about myself and the future.
It can be said that they passively or actively chose to compromise with the objective status quo due to pressure from the social environment and family.
Therefore, Shui Qing's tiredness at this stage is also due to worries in this area, that is, the great pressure her family and surrounding environment put on her personal marriage.
In fact, whether you can find a partner or not is not a matter of life and death, and is purely a personal matter.
As for Shuiqing, it’s not that I don’t want to look for it.
It's just that she is a casual person, and feels that she is too busy with work at this stage, and it is the time when she needs a child.
There is no need to be harsh, I just want to wait and think about this matter.
But it just doesn't work in this day and age. Parents at home have to push, the "well-meaning people" around them have to help, and even the work unit and the street have to interfere.
These people are all very enthusiastic about introducing partners to single men and women, as enthusiastic as if they have tasks assigned to them by their superiors and cannot be handed over until they are completed.
On the other hand, if you don't look for it, it means that you are mentally abnormal and have a problem with your thinking. Such alternative elements are not allowed in society.
In this way, Shui Qing had no choice but to follow the crowd and could only squeeze out time and energy to try to find her other half.
But the problem is that the people who introduce Shui Qing to someone are always trying to strike a balance.
They have their own set of theories, such as fish looking for fish, shrimp looking for shrimp, phoenix perching in the sycamore tree, and grass chicken entering the shack.
The scale created based on this theory includes age, appearance, family, personality, occupation, income, knowledge, and hobbies, and measures them carefully.
If one side is making do, the other side must be making do, and the overall portion should always be equal.
For example, if a girl has a few pockmarks on her face, her partner may be a little short-sighted.
Because pockmarks and myopia not only offset each other, but also myopia can easily ignore the pockmarks, so the success rate is naturally very high.
It's a pity that although this algorithm is clever and sophisticated, only emotions and sentiments will not be taken into account.
So of course this scale is not accurate for Shui Qing.
The people who were introduced to her by those people were all indifferent from the beginning, and almost all of them looked like they were neither uncle nor grandma.
Those who are a little decent either have jobs, poor family backgrounds, or are old-fashioned widowers.
Of course, even if this is the case, Shui Qing is actually not unacceptable.
Because she understands that a person's beauty and ugliness cannot be judged only on the surface. Even if the other person is a temporary worker or has children.
Comparing each other's hearts, as long as the other person is willing to take good care of Shui Xiaoying with her, and the two have similar interests and understand each other, the marriage will still be happy for her.
But the key point is that it takes time to see the soul. If she is not in a hurry, others will be. If others are not in a hurry, others will be in a hurry.
And marriage is about a lifetime of happiness, and it must not be careless. Even if you are not in a hurry, you may not be able to truly agree.
So I finally met two people who were passable, and I quickly blew out the lamp and pulled out the wax.
For example, Sister Wei from the labor union introduced a deputy director of the planning department of the "First Machinery Factory". Although he was widowed, he was only thirty years old, had no children of his own, and liked ancient poetry and calligraphy.
We got along well with each other at first, and Shui Qing appreciated the deputy director's insight.
But after they got acquainted and discussed their plans for married life, the other party's utilitarianism and philistinism were exposed.
In order to continue to be promoted, the deputy director actually asked her to learn to communicate, learn to give gifts, and learn how to please the leaders' families.
Shui Qing couldn't imagine this kind of dark side, so he broke up decisively.
Another one is a serial officer in the army. His "problem" is that he often travels for research at work, and he has to stay away from home for a long time after getting married. He spends less time together and more time away from home.
But he has been educated by the army for many years, has a promising future, is educated, has a decent appearance and a decent style of work.
Moreover, he sympathized with Shui Xiaoying and admired Shui Qing's behavior. After meeting him a few times, he sincerely made bold words to help Shui Qing take good care of Shui Xiaoying.
Originally, the two of them had a good conversation and there should be hope of getting together.
But this officer happened to be from a rural area. When he wrote a letter to his hometown to explain the matter, he encountered firm opposition from his parents and relatives with feudal and conservative ideas.
They also knew that Shui Qing was respectable, but whether Shui Qing brought a child to the house was easy to talk about or not, they were afraid of burying someone's life under their tongues.
In the end, I had no choice but to drop the matter.
People are probably like this. They can talk about it and think about it, but it is difficult to persist in doing it.
After experiencing these two things, Shui Qing was of course even more exhausted.
However, she soon figured this out on her own. She decided to reduce her burden and never look at anyone again.
Because she finally knew that what others said about her the most behind her back was, "She has an indescribable mess, she's not too young, it would be great if someone wanted her? Why are you still picking things up here and there?"
So even if she did the right thing, in the minds of most people, she is almost as worthless as a broken egg.
Unfortunately, if even the matchmaker sees it this way, then naturally he will not introduce a good match to her.
But fortunately, she doesn't want to regret and is quite optimistic. Anyway, this is it, so let's keep moving forward.
A good marriage would definitely not appear all at once, so she decided to wait patiently until she found a man who was not only beautiful in mind and appearance, but also had a true friendship with her.
She believes that she can find it, she believes in fate, and in this world, there is always someone who understands her and is waiting for her silently, looking for her.