I never thought that I would be in this situation.
When I watched some medical documentaries in the past, I, like many bored viewers, put myself into the role of the patient, and then easily came to the conclusion that if I really had an incurable disease, then
It's better to kill yourself. In this way, you will suffer less physical pain, and perhaps less mental torture. Watching yourself slip towards the edge of death little by little, that is simply the worst thing that a human can experience.
Horrible things. The desire to survive will continue to torture one's heart, and the individual's powerlessness in matters of life and death will eventually become a weapon to torture oneself.
So, I hope that if one day I can't decide whether I can continue to live, then at least let me control my own death.
This is a stupid and extremely superficial idea of mine.
Lying on the ground, I could feel the distortion of my body. If nothing else happened, I probably... had a broken leg? Otherwise, what happened to the leg touching my chest? Judging from the feeling, this should be
My left leg?
pain.
It hurts.
I tried to relieve the pain by gasping for air or other methods, but I was horrified to find that I couldn't do anything. Not to mention screaming or moving my hands, I couldn't even move my head.
I can still feel clear sensations throughout my body, but I just can't move my body.
I started to get scared.
There was a strange blur in front of my eyes, and large blocks of gray and white came into my eyes. I didn't feel any pain on my head, but the cold feeling made me feel very uncomfortable.
By the way, I think... I was hit by a car.
The pain in my legs and the fear of being unable to control my body came to my mind like a tide. I began to feel my chest tightening, and there was a thumping sound like a drum in my ears. Helplessness and panic instantly overwhelmed me.
I am twenty-five years old and claim to be straight. This painful and helpless feeling is unfamiliar and extremely intense. I even wanted to cry, but after blinking a few times, not a single tear came out.
.
It seems like my eyelids can still move.
This kind of thing, which is not usually considered a discovery at all, even makes me feel a little excited. Does this mean that other parts of my body can also move?
Just when I was desperately trying to move myself, a sharp siren suddenly came from my ears. The ambulance came.
Great, I thought sincerely, the ambulance is here, at least I can be saved.
I want to live.
I was roughly thrown onto a hard stretcher bed by two doctors. The sides of the bed were really hard and narrow, and the ambulance was driving so fast. I even suspected that my back would be hurt on both sides.
The bruises came out directly. Although it was very painful and uncomfortable, I could barely bear it. After all, it was a fair trade to exchange short-term discomfort for quick treatment.
The atmosphere in the car was very tense. I don’t know whether they usually work in such a high-intensity environment or because my injury was particularly serious. After getting in the car, I relaxed a lot, and I even started to have random thoughts in my mind.
"Craniocerebral trauma, unconsciousness, open fracture of the left leg. If you send it to the second hospital, they will definitely not accept it. Report it directly to the fourth hospital!" I could barely see a man in dark blue clothes shouting towards the cab.
, "Drive directly to the Fourth Courtyard!"
Wait, not conscious? I was suddenly startled, no, I'm still awake!
I tried to shout through my unresponsive throat, but naturally no sound came out.
"No response to shoulder taps and verbal calls, no response to pain!" The man in dark blue clothes first patted my shoulder, shouted a few words, and then used a pen that seemed to have a metal shell to write on my shoulder.
I pressed hard on my fingernails twice. It hurt a lot, but it was not as good as the pain in my legs. To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to the pain in my legs anymore.
I feel like what I'm more afraid of is that the unreliable ambulance doctor in front of me thought I was dead, then threw me directly into some morgue, left it overnight and then burned me directly... By the way, I don't
Could it be that he is already dead?
"Heart rate is 131, blood pressure is 95/60. He lost too much blood and must have gone into shock." The doctor in dark blue clothes quickly relieved my concerns. At least he would not treat me as a dead person. "Brother Wang, drive faster."
point!"
"I've stepped on the fucking accelerator into the fuel tank!" A roar came from the cab, "Why is Ningyuan's morning traffic even more fucking congested than the capital?!"
The car body shook violently twice, and then there was an even more violent bump. I even thought that the ambulance I was in had encountered some serious traffic accident and was about to overturn. To be honest, if this was the case, then I should probably die today.
Within a few minutes, there were two serious traffic accidents. I don’t know what immoral things I did. God couldn’t stand it.
Fortunately, the car didn't overturn. After a few more bumps, the car came to a sudden stop. I heard the tailgate of the car next to my feet click open from the outside, and then people suddenly poured into the car.
The voice in. "Are you desperate for your fucking life? Are you running over directly from the green belt? Is it the shock caused by blood loss due to degloving that was just predicted?"
"That's right! Push it in quickly!" The doctor in dark blue clothes seemed to be used to the driver Wang's abnormal behavior. He and several other people pushed me out of the car, and then I saw the blue sky.
, a green translucent plastic awning, a particularly high hall, and a gray-white ceiling. After passing through a silver stainless steel door, I was pushed to a bed.
"Come on, three, two, one!" The sheets under me were lifted up amidst the chants of a group of people, and then I was placed on a slightly softer bed.
"Establish an intravenous channel, give me a shot of nail removal, quickly infuse 500 ml of 70,000 units of dextran, check the blood type, and stop the bleeding immediately!" A man's voice rang in the direction of my left foot, "Open fracture of the femur of my left leg.
, accompanied by degloving injury, please monitor me! Please ask an orthopedic surgeon and a psychiatrist for consultation.”
This person's voice sounds confident, he must be at least a middle-level manager, right?
"The method of stopping the bleeding is not strong enough. Put on two more tourniquets..." His voice suddenly stopped, and another voice lowered his voice and asked, "Isn't it going to be another big boss?"
"Don't talk about boring things at this time." The middle manager said angrily, "Contact the imaging department and ask them to prepare CT..." He paused and asked, "Has the blood type been revealed?"
"Type A, Rh positive." A female voice reported at my right foot, "I have taken it from the blood bank, but they are all frozen and are in the warmer..."
The middle management said angrily, "The systolic blood pressure has dropped to 70, why don't we wait for the warmer? Artificially warm it, and then pressurize it for infusion!"
What is artificial heating? I'm actually quite curious. But... I can't move my head, and I can't even move my eyes left and right.
"The coma score is 3 points, deep coma. The pupils on both sides are unequal, 2 mm on the left and 1.5 mm on the right. They react to light." Another young doctor waved a pen-shaped flashlight in front of my eyes.
He reported a bunch of words in the direction of my left foot that I didn’t quite understand.
"Deep coma, possible cerebral herniation." The middle manager muttered a few words, "Where are the family members?"
By the way, I...my parents, my wife, they, they are here?
"The police are already in contact, but they haven't been found yet." Another male voice replied, "I'll go and run if the hospital office authorizes you."
"There is a craniocerebral injury. Dr. Xu, your team will take care of this case." The middle management suddenly said at my feet, "Is Sun Lien still in the clinic?"
"I'll call him over." The female voice from before said, "Send him to the CT room first. I'll call Sun Lien and I'll go there right away."
I was lying on the bed, a little puzzled. Are all the people in this hospital so reckless? They call the leaders to see the doctor without even giving him an honorific.
It turns out that I probably can't be saved. The person these doctors specially invited to treat me was a young doctor who looked very unreliable.
Are you planning to blame this poor young man for my death and then take the opportunity to ruin his career?!
I seemed to have begun to accept my inevitable death. I was even able to calmly take the opportunity to make a joke. It was a pity that these doctors did not have the opportunity to be shocked or even applauded by my open-mindedness and cheerfulness.
Even if I have to die, at least I have to wait until my children and grandchildren are all around me. When I am seventy or eighty years old, I will lie on the bed and slowly close my eyes in the sun, right? It would be too cruel to die with a broken leg, bleeding from the head, and unable to even speak.
I don't want to die.
The young doctor who was called was standing next to me, next to the CT machine. I could just see his face out of the corner of my eye.
I guess the inspection is over.
This young doctor was staring at my... head? Or maybe a few centimeters of air above my head? It didn't look like he was looking at me. The poor guy had a confused expression on his face.
, to be honest, if it were me who was called upon by other colleagues to take the blame, my expression might be even worse than his.
"Li En, what do you think?" The middle manager's voice rang throughout the examination room. He seemed to be speaking into the room through a microphone.
I saw a magical scene. The confusion and puzzlement on the young doctor's face suddenly disappeared, replaced by a calm expression, "The problem with the legs is not the most important. First, the degree and scope of the brain damage should be clarified. The legs.
The bleeding was sufficient, and the scope of the degloving injury was relatively small. I am more concerned about why he passed out than the obvious trauma."
I almost screamed, Dr. Sun, could you be a little more honest? You were clearly in a daze with a serious face and confusion just now!
"The situation of this patient is somewhat similar to that of Lin Lan before." The middle management said solemnly, "You handled Lin Lan's situation quite well, so I will hand over this patient to your treatment team."
"No problem." Dr. Xiao Sun pretended to be fat and took the blame. I couldn't help lamenting in my heart that the old doctors today are too bad and the young ones are too bad. If you don't have the ability, don't be too tough.
Yeah, is it difficult for you to hire an expert to see what's going on with me?
I begged and roared in my heart, wanting to express my dissatisfaction and fear to these doctors. But I found that I couldn't even move my eyes.