Uncle Wen had indeed drunk too much, his tongue was spinning, and he couldn't speak properly. He insisted on showing us his long-lost song "One Cut Plum".
Lao Yi and I were speechless as we listened helplessly to the words "Snowflakes are flying in the north wind and the sky and the earth are like rogues" floating out of Uncle Wen's mouth. I thought to myself that as the saying goes, if the wine is not good, the people will be.
Naturally, his taste is not good. What he said is really right, this old gangster.
Before I knew it, it was almost ten o'clock in the evening. We had been drinking for almost five hours. One box of beer and two bottles of liquor were almost wiped out. I knew it well. I drank four bottles, which was really my amount.
, I can still stay awake, but Lao Yi is a little tired. This old boy is stupid and cheap. He doesn't know the way around the wine table, so he just picks up the wine.
Fortunately, he knew in his heart that he was in danger, so when he went to the bathroom, he vomited out all the wine that he had not had time to digest.
As a result, only the old guy, Uncle Wen, had enough to drink. Seeing that he couldn't sit still, I felt proud in my heart. This is exactly the effect I want, buddy.
So I said to him: "Uncle Wen, we are almost done today. Let me help you go back and lie down for a while."
After listening to what I said, Uncle Wen waved his hands vigorously and said incoherently: "What are you doing? I haven't drunk enough yet. Take it, keep drinking! I tell you both, you must drink well today."
Yao, whoever wants to drink is not happy, I’m in a hurry!”
After saying that, he picked up the beer again and poured it into the cup. As a result, it all fell on the table. It seemed that he had almost drank it, and he started to grab the wine by himself.
So I got up and mixed him up, and then said to him: "Okay, okay, Uncle Wen, the wine is gone. Let's go buy it now. I'll help you lie down on the bed for a while."
He shouted loudly: "Hurry up~~~I'm waiting for you two~~~."
I helped him into the room and laid him down on the bed. I took off his shoes. As soon as he touched the bed, he grabbed the quilt and covered it with him. He was mumbling some drunken words that I couldn't hear clearly. I also
I didn't hear clearly what he said, but I heard his catchphrase anyway. 'Every day there are dreams, the soul predicts good and bad luck, Zhuang Sheng's illusory butterfly, Lu Wangzhao's flying bear. Eight hundred...'
After that, I couldn't hear clearly. I thought, what's eight hundred? Is it a fake charm for eight hundred and eighty yuan? This old bastard is so drunk that he still wants to deceive people.
I saw that he was already asleep, so I gently took out the key to the warehouse from his drawer, and then walked out. Lao Yi looked at me and asked, "Are you asleep?"
I nodded, took out the copper coin sword from my waist, and said to Lao Yi, "Let's go, we have plenty of time, enough for us to prepare."
Lao Yi picked up his backpack, and I took the bottle of virgin urine from behind the door. The two quietly walked out of the store. I opened the warehouse and touched the light switch. The forty-watt dim light illuminated the warehouse.
It was as big as my high school studio, filled with all kinds of goods, from paper cows and horses to fake talismans. Looking at the expressions of the paper figures in blue clothes in the room at night, it was indeed a bit eye-catching and funny.
Meat doesn't smile.
The two of us entered the warehouse, and I pulled down the iron door with my backhand. Then I moved out the dusty altar table inside, and then took out a few big names and an incense burner and placed it on it.
He took out a plastic bottle of chicken blood, which he bought at the market, which was very convenient, and a plastic bag of glutinous rice. He poured the glutinous rice and chicken blood into two large bowls, and then he asked me if I wanted
Cinnabar.
I used a bowl to scoop out a bowl of red powder from a bag in the corner. Lao Yi told me to mix the cinnabar and chicken blood together and mix them evenly, so I did as he told me.
Speaking of cinnabar, it is a good thing. It is recorded in "Baopuzi Huangbai": "Cinnabar is gold, and those who take it to become immortals are also sergeants." Since ancient times, cinnabar has been considered a material for making elixirs, so
The emperors in ancient times had nothing to do all day long, and they dreamed of immortality, so they hired a group of experienced Taoists to provide them with delicious food and drink all day long, and to refine elixirs specifically for them. But they didn't know that although this cinnabar has
It has medicinal value, but its toxicity is also very huge. Many emperors were killed by this stuff, just like Emperor Yongzheng. According to unofficial records, he was killed by this elixir made of cinnabar.
Medicinal.
However, this thing is indeed useful in Taoist practices. Cinnabar is yang, like fire, which means burning. If used properly, it can also help people increase their fire energy. It is also the most common pigment for drawing talismans, and it is a must-have for Mr. Yin and Yang.
things.
I used a small stick to mix the cinnabar and chicken blood into a thick consistency, and carefully handed it to Lao Yi. Lao Yi inserted five longevity incense sticks on the incense burner, and then placed a bowl of glutinous rice behind the incense burner.
A bowl of cinnabar, and a bowl of liquid mixed with cinnabar and chicken blood.
Then he took out two tied little grass figures from his bag. It seemed that he had been busy that day. He even went to the Chinese medicine store and bought dried mugwort.
Something like that.
I took out the small paper bag from my trouser pocket, opened it carefully, and handed the two hairs to him. He buried the two hairs into the straw man's body, and then placed the straw man on the table.
After doing all this, he said to me: "Let's open our eyes first."
I was stunned when I mentioned it. How could I have forgotten such an important thing? The busier I am, the more things go wrong. Yesterday, I was only thinking about how to deal with that damn stand-in, and all I could do was draw it.
I have six pictures of my third child, but I have forgotten my 'Ding Youwen Open Road Talisman' that can open the path to the underworld.
When Lao Yi saw me like this, he asked me: "Did you forget to draw the talisman?"
I nodded anxiously. Fortunately, our citizen scientist had a solution. He told me: "It doesn't matter, I have a solution."
So he took out his "Twenty-Four-Way Bright Lamp", lit it and opened his eyes first, then walked up to me and told me not to think about anything else.
He dipped his finger in lamp oil and put it on my forehead, then kept mumbling something. After a while, he softly shouted: "Open!"
It was done. He told me that this would help me start my journey to the underworld for a short period of time, and the effect would last for about three hours. I did some rough calculations, and it should be enough until about four in the morning.
After everything was done, he put the small blue lamp on the table and prepared to open the altar. He told me to just stand back and watch quietly without saying anything.
I nodded, and he walked behind the altar table, first lit the five longevity incense sticks, and then I saw him making a fist with his left hand and raising it to his chest, with the fingers of his right hand holding a sword behind his left hand. This is not the first time I have done this.
See, it seems like this is a special gesture for Qi Men Zhi Shu.
I could only see him solemnly reciting: "Three wonders can make you sincere, and the six armors are not small complements. One meets a dog, a horse, another rat, a monkey, and six jade girls ride a dragon and a tiger. All evils are in the way. Humanity suffers, and the battles last for years.
Hugh. I dreamed that the God of Heaven granted me the talisman, and I went to the altar to offer sacrifices, sincerely cultivating it. Sanqing is on top, and my disciples Yi Xinxing from the Yuqing sect and Cui Zuofei from the Shangqing sect were unable to eliminate demons, so they asked the Patriarch to give him divine power to open the Sanqing altar.
, those who are about to fight, all move forward in formation!"
Then he said to me: "Quick, recite your formula sincerely."
I didn't dare to delay, so I stepped forward to the table, crossed my sword fingers with my right hand, and said: "Hurry is like a law!"
After Yi Xinxing listened to me reciting the mantra, she grabbed a few grains of glutinous rice with her fingers, then rinsed them in the big bowl mixed with cinnabar and chicken blood, and then grabbed the few grains of rice with cinnabar and blood in the longevity incense.
Shangrao circled it three times, and then quickly bounced onto the two little straw men.
After everything was over, he gestured again, and then solemnly shouted: "Open!"
I saw two little straw men on the table, and stood up in a flash.
I was a little dumbfounded when I saw it, it was so weird.
When Lao Yi saw that the two little straw men had already stood up, he said to me: "It's done. According to what your master said, now we only have to wait for the ugly moment to come, and the substitute of the 'Seven Deaths' will be killed."
These two little straw men were lured here. By the way, we have to come up with some plan."
I was thinking about a ball plan. When that thing comes, I will just urinate on its head with a plastic bottle. But knowing that this is related to the lives of those two people, I don’t dare to be too big, so
I asked him: "Lao Yi, do you have any good ideas?"
Lao Yi said to me: "How about you hide next to the door and wait for it to come and attack it secretly?"
Oh my god! Is this citizen scientist just a pig brain?
I said to him angrily and funny: "How do you know it will definitely come in through the door? You have to know that none of our native methods are of use to it, and we don't know which direction it can come in. By the way.
, do you have any taboos about this thing?"
Lao Yi said to me: "What you said is the same... Speaking of taboos... If the substitute of the Sanqing Altar falls from the altar, or the five incense burners are gone, the method will be broken.
The 'Seven Deaths Gathering Souls' will turn around and go to the building again, so be sure to guard this table later, and pay close attention to the incense. If it is about to burn out, you must replace it in time."
I understand, even if I fall, I can't let these two idiots fall. Although I have already said hello to Zhang Yaxin, they will not show up at Yuan's headquarters so late, but if I don't clean up that thing tonight
If you do, the consequences will be endless. You must know that behind that thing, there is most likely a person who understands the law many times better than the two of us.
So I nodded, holding the heavy copper coin sword in my right hand, and holding the equally heavy boy's urine in my left hand. Looking at the green smoke on the table, I thought to myself: Even if I break my arms and legs tonight, I will die.
To protect you. His uncle, come on.
For the next time, Lao Yi and I were speechless. We each sat on one side, thinking about the people we wanted to protect, and resting our minds to prepare for this vicious battle.
A few hours later, at 2:55, Lao Yi and I stood up and stood back to back next to the altar table, ready to face any danger that might come at any time. Lao Yi just took out a small bottle of urine from his bag.
It was a bit smaller than my Pepsi bottle. I looked at his bottle and then at mine, thinking to myself, it seems that this guy has been angry in the past two days.
At three o'clock on my mobile phone, the alarm clock rang on time. I immediately turned off the alarm clock and put on 12 minutes of alert. As time passed by, the surroundings were still surprisingly quiet. Only the old light bulbs in the warehouse made noise from time to time.
The sound of sizzling.
It was already 3:05, but there was still nothing going on. Lao Yi asked me: "What's going on... I remember that thing seems to be on time."
I was just about to answer him when I suddenly felt a chill on my neck, as if something liquid had dripped on it. It felt like the roof was leaking, but you know this is a warehouse on the first floor, how could it possibly be leaking!
I immediately got goosebumps all over my body! I looked up like a reflex.