Yu Jingque felt that during this period of time, he had really experienced this feeling personally.
Because if you want to live, you can only eat.
After eating, the next time you have a craving for cigarettes, it will be even more unbearable.
Self-harm no longer works.
It doesn't do anything, it doesn't relieve any pain.
But Yu Jingque had to endure it, and he had to endure it.
He doesn't want his children to be called traitors because of himself.
He wants to be a hero, not everyone's hero, just a hero in the eyes of his own children.
Persistence continues. If he can't persist, Yu Jingque will choose to die.
But now, Yu Jingque really couldn't bear to die.
He was reluctant to part with him, he wanted to see his child, he wanted to hug his child, and he wanted to hear his child call him daddy.
Once again relieved from the pain of despair, Yu Jingque sat back in a small corner of the cell.
Yu Jingque faced the corner, sat on the ground, hugged his knees with his hands, and buried his head between his legs.
Now Yu Jingque doesn't want to see anyone.
Because he feels that he is neither a human nor a ghost.
Under such torture, Yu Jingque's spirit endured great suffering.
Although there was no interrogation in the later period, Yu Jingque's self-mutilation when he was addicted to smoking also caused great harm to Yu Jingque.
But Yu Jingque persisted.
But Yu Jingque didn't know how long he could hold on.
He really doesn't know.
He has no confidence, he has no confidence at all.
He just knew that he couldn't be a traitor, but how long he could hold on, he really didn't know.
Yu Jingque hid a piece of the broken porcelain piece under the tattered quilt.
That was Yu Jingque's last choice.
If nothing can be done, Yu Jingque will leave cleanly.
So he has no self-confidence, he is just challenging his own limits, and he doesn't know where his limits are.
In fact, Yu Jingque's limit was at the moment when Yu Jingque picked up the porcelain piece. At that moment, Yu Jingque had already reached his limit.
Whether it's physical or mental.
For Yu Jingque, everything was already in danger.
But the news about Ji Youning and her pregnancy made Yu Jingque suddenly increase his potential a lot.
By now.
Yu Jingque didn't know how long he could hold on, but he knew that the organization could know, Ji Youning could know, and Yu Mosheng could know the news that he was alive.
Because the military policeman who sent this sentence to Yu Jingque would help tell Yu Jingque's situation.
Yu Jingque even felt that if they knew that he was still alive, they would be very happy.
So Yu Jingque still persists.
Yes, Ji Youning wanted to know what was going on here with Yu Jingque every day.
But every day, Ji Youning couldn't help crying.
Ji Youning's strength is obvious to all. She did not cry after Yu Jingque was arrested.
But now, Ji Youning couldn't help it. Every day she would hide and cry silently. When she appeared in front of everyone, she would put away her emotions.
Because what was the message sent by the gendarmes?
Very simple.
alive.
Don't speak.
Yes, just two messages.
Today's Yu Jingque is still alive, but today's Yu Jingque has not spoken yet.
What is the price of living?
Have a meal.
What is the cost of not speaking?
torture.
It's a torture you can't imagine.
Ji Youning is very conflicted now. She doesn't know what she should think.
At this point, Ji Youning even told himself in his heart that even if Yu Jingque committed suicide, even if he opened his mouth and became a traitor, Ji Youning would not blame Yu Jingque.
Ji Youning doesn't have the slightest bit of resentment.
All she felt was heartache.
Many people may have seen addiction to smoking, but they have never experienced it deeply.
But Ji Youning does.
She had truly felt it, truly felt it.
Ji Youning understands that feeling.
alive.
Don't speak.
What does this mean to Yu Jingque?
Ji Youning couldn't explain clearly, but he left heartbroken.
But Ji Youning also knows that she must take care of her body. She is not alone now.
If Yu Jingque cannot come back, this will be Yu Jingque's only flesh and blood.
Ji Youning can't let this only flesh and blood have problems, so she will feel sorry for Yu Jingque.
News about Yu Jingque came from time to time, and everyone went from being excited at the beginning to being silent now.
He remained silent, not only because he was numb, but also because he was shocked by Yu Jingque.
No one could have imagined that Yu Jingque could persist to this point.
Not even Yu Mosheng.
To put it bluntly, Yu Mosheng was ready to give the white-haired man a gift to the black-haired man.
But Yu Mosheng never expected that Yu Jingque was still alive and still alive in such a situation.
Yu Mosheng doesn't know now whether she should be happy that Yu Jingque is still alive, or sad because of Yu Jingque's suffering.
Yes, everyone is conflicted now.
Everyone has said that it is better to live than to die.
But this sentence, depending on the situation, if put in Yu Jingque's case, many people already hope that Yu Jingque commits suicide.
Yes, many people hope so.
But Yu Jingque didn't, he still persisted.
Han Chen is also paying attention to this matter, but Han Chen does not have the situation in the gendarmerie, but Han Chen also inquired about some information from the underground party.
Han Chen originally hated Yu Jingque and felt that he had been deceived by Yu Jingque.
But now that he saw Yu Jingque acting like this, Han Chen was only deeply shocked.
Moreover, Han Chen recalled every detail of his time with Yu Jingque, and he found that Yu Jingque had never harmed him, and even helped the military commander complete many missions.
Moreover, the medicines also entered Bingcheng from Yu Jingque, but Yu Jingque did not hand them over to the underground party.
Looking back bit by bit, Han Chen felt that Yu Jingque was not that hateful.
And judging from Yu Jingque's current behavior of preferring death to surrender, Han Chen felt that he was not qualified to hate Yu Jingque.
Han Chen suddenly remembered what Qin Jin said to Han Chen before he died.
That means you must take good care of Yu Jingque.
Before Qin Jin died, he did not make any request. He just kept telling Han Chen to take good care of Yu Jingque.
Under Han Chen's questioning, Qin Jin still did not make any other requests. He only asked Han Chen to save Yu Jingque's life if possible.
At that time, Han Chen couldn't understand Qin Jin's words at all.
I just knew in my heart that Qin Jin was going to die at that time, which was hard to accept.
But to this day, Han Chen understands what Qin Jin said before his death.
He understood that Qin Jin had long known that Yu Jingque was an underground party member.
Qin Jin's only hope before his death was to let Han Chen save Yu Jingque.
Now Han Chen understands everything.
Han Chen smiled bitterly in his heart. At this moment, Han Chen decided to fulfill Qin Jin's regret.
Han Chen must complete Qin Jin's final regrets, but Yu Jingque is now in the military police, what can Han Chen do?
Han Chen could only do the next best thing and protect Ji Youning and Yu Mosheng. This was another kind of explanation.