The big yellowed pendulum clock makes a retro 'tick-tick-tick' sound even at night.
Clean and bright.
It was the most appropriate word for what Su Mu thought about this room.
To be more specific about the current situation, Su Mu is not very clear.
But the only thing that was clear was the horrific scene.
Maybe in terms of memory, Su Mu would never forget it in this life.
The composition of the terrifying scene is actually quite simple.
I have known Su Muyuan since she was in kindergarten.
A little girl with short twin tails, always silent, quietly reading some obscure books that other children except her could not understand.
In terms of my feelings at that time, she was at most a maverick or introverted little girl.
Maybe it was a long time ago, and Su Mu couldn't remember why she was isolated to that extent.
Anyway, something happened when she was in third grade.
Specifically, it means being isolated and then bullied.
The most serious thing was that Su Mu saw a few naughty people with his own eyes - no, that was already considered evil.
She watched helplessly as several small children took out her schoolbag openly, took off her pants and peed in it while no one was around at noon.
how to say?
That kind of scene gave Su Mu a very disgusting feeling. Although he didn't have a close relationship with those people, they were still friends. But at that moment, Su Mu felt that something was breaking in his heart.
They were laughing and shouting, "Would you like to try it out? It's very fun."
Looking back, this is probably something I regret.
Because at that time, Su Mu could only stand on his seat and watch the "evil" happening. He could do nothing but watch. He even laughed in agreement because of the "collective" power.
Su Mu will always remember the expression on her face when she returned to her seat in class that afternoon and was about to take out the book from her schoolbag, but suddenly found that her schoolbag had been done that way.
Don't try to form any complicated expressions without authorization.
In fact, her little face had no expression at all. Unlike what everyone thought, she neither made a fuss nor cried. Even her eyelids never trembled in vain. She just raised her right hand very calmly.
He told the teacher that his schoolbag had been pranked.
The most profound thing shouldn't be the hysterical expression, the most unforgettable thing should be the expression that has no expression. Because you can never understand what a person who has no expression is thinking in his heart.
Until now, Su Mu still doesn't understand what she was thinking at that time.
After that, Su Mu, out of an awkward mentality, let's call it sympathy or guilt, began to contact her, talk to her, and try to be friends with her.
However, Sumu soon discovered that this was in vain.
It's not that she doesn't want to stay with Su Mu. On the contrary, she doesn't know why as long as Su Mu sits with her, she always has a slight smile on her lips. But she seldom speaks.
Even if she said it, Su Mu couldn't quite understand what she was talking about.
For example, when talking about 'death is the opposite of life' and 'self-image', as a third-grade primary school student, what can Su Mu understand when he is still memorizing multiplication tables?
"I like you."
This was the only sentence Su Mu could understand.
But at that time, Su Mu could only understand how the words were written, and could not understand what she meant by "like". He foolishly thought it was like Aunt Zhang next door saying, "This kid is so good, I like it."
like.
"I like you too, haha."
Su Mu responded to her with her own understanding, and her round eyes showed a clear smile.
He said this because Su Mu's mother once taught him that if an aunt you know says this to you, you should tell her that you like her in turn, and the other person will be very happy.
"Don't come near me again, and don't talk to me again."
One day, she suddenly said this.
"Why?"
Su Mu couldn't understand it at all.
Because there are no signs or reasons for this.
No.
Maybe there is a reason.
For example, although I was in contact with her, I never broke off the contact with the perpetrators who were later scolded by the teacher. Because in the group.
"Don't play with that freak, or you may get infected."
Some children in the "collective" warned Su Mu like this.
"It's okay, it's okay, I'm just playing with her."
Su Mu disliked his cunning attitude.
Maybe that's the reason why she suddenly said that.
In short, after that, due to her unilateral alienation, Su Mu had no contact with her for a year.
In the fifth grade, the class was divided into Class 1 and Class 2. She was in Class 2 and Su Mu was in Class 1. Occasionally, Su Mu could still see her. She was no different from before. She was still isolated and quiet by herself.
sitting in seat reading book.
There is an opportunity for contact.
Sumu had a conflict with the perpetrators.
The reason is that Su Mu is a little closer to a little girl that one of those people likes. Because they always walk together along the way.
At that time, Su Mu didn't understand what liking meant, and he didn't know if it counted. In short, he didn't want to listen to their threats and hastily broke off the relationship with the girl.
Think with the mentality of a child, why do you just separate in front of so many people? Isn’t that very shameless?
Therefore, it was natural that Su Mu was blocked by those people when he came home late one day from duty.
The schoolbag was thrown into the urinal.
I also received a lot of punches and kicks from them physically. That was something I asked for.
Originally, they were worried that they were friends. In other words, they were worried that Su Mu could copy their previous homework and help them do it, so they didn't think of taking action.
Some people said that as long as Sumu agreed to stay away from that girl.
But Sumu didn't agree.
He thought that the whole class knew about this matter, and it would definitely be embarrassing if he hurriedly broke off the relationship at this time.
Don't agree.
So Su Mu was beaten and his schoolbag was thrown into the urinal. Don't doubt it, children's evil will be infinite when magnified, because they lack the ability to distinguish right from wrong.
A few days after that, those people relented again. Maybe they didn't want to lose Sumu's convenient working machine, so they came to Sumu for peace talks again.
They asked Su Mu to write a love letter with the little boy who likes that girl. If she chooses Su Mu, they will not say anything about this matter.
Su Mu agreed.
In fact, that girl probably has a crush on Su Mu.
On the afternoon when they handed over their love letters together, Su Mu and the little boy chased her to ask who she should choose.
Probably knowing that she couldn't escape and had to tell the truth no matter what, she said the word "you" to Su Mu with a blushing face, and then ran away quickly.
"Ha ha."
Su Mu was immersed in joy and pride, completely unaware of the distorted face of the boy next to him.
Yes, the whole class knows this. Su Mu will be embarrassed if he loses, but the boy will also feel embarrassed if he loses.
"Su Mu, I don't think this is enough for you. You have to write a formal love letter to Su Li like in the TV series. Only then can it be considered love."
He said.
"A formal love letter?"
Su Mu couldn't understand these things at that time.
"Yeah, I watched TV dramas where adults are like this. They write a long and disgusting love letter, and then prepare a token of love, leave the address of the meeting in the love letter, and then give the token to the other person. That's it.
Engaged."
"got engaged?"
"Ah, engagement means that you agree to get married and live together when you grow up. Don't you want to live with Su Li?"
"think."
Su Mu thought, wouldn't it be very happy if he could play with her all the time?
"Let's help you write a disgusting love letter together, hehehe..."
"No, I don't think you can do this kind of thing yourself, right?"
After that, Su Mu really wrote a love letter of more than a thousand words.
After writing it, Su Mu spent a week trying to find some noble-looking paragraphs and words in obscure books for adults to splice together. Although he didn't know whether he could express his own meaning, he felt that as long as it looked noble,
, just don’t make yourself look as naive as your peers.
Thinking about it, Su Mu felt that that might be the first time he realized the preliminary meaning of the word "love".
After hesitating for several days, Su Mu, with their instigation, finally quietly stuffed the love letter into her desk very early one morning.
What would she say to me?
When he thought of that scene, Su Mu was immersed in great joy.
But what happened in the end?
After dinner, Su Mu returned to the classroom for a lunch break and found many people gathered around his desk and the girl's desk, chatting happily about something.
Su Mu will never forget that scene in his life.
The pungent-smelling liquid gathered into a puddle on his drawer, flowing from his schoolbag, textbooks, and along the table legs into a thin light yellow waterway on the ground, and then formed a puddle again.
Those people who started to encourage Su Mu to send a disgusting love letter to the girl. Among them, the person who had been eliminated when submitting the love letter with Su Mu now dug out the love letter from the girl's desk with a look of joy on his face.
Standing on the podium and speaking plausibly.
"Let's see what this idiot who peed in the desk wrote to Su Li?"
"I'm going to read a paragraph, please listen carefully!"
""You are the cutest", I didn't have time to think about it when I said it, but after thinking about it, I still said it like this, wow, it's so disgusting."
"Hahaha···"
The children watching below burst into laughter.
"Don't be so quick to laugh, there's still more down there."
"What do you think is the difference between you and the stars in the sky? Of course the stars are in the sky but you are in my eyes!"
"Hahaha!"
Another burst of laughter.
But Su Mu stood there, his whole body feeling cold.
"It must be a good thing you did! The bad things I did to Xia Ju have happened to me again! Who the hell are you!"
"And you!"
"Can't you see?! They did such disgusting things. Is this funny? Are you sick? Can you really laugh at anything?!"
"Xia Ju was like this before, do I want to be like this now?!"
Sumu exploded.
But what he got in exchange was nothing but a sense of isolation. Everyone stared at him and whispered.
But he still has a life-saving straw.
Su Li.
She likes herself, as long as she stands up and says something at this time, as long as...
"Hehehe, how could I like this kind of person?"
She said with a smile. She said it with the same mouth that said the word "you" with a red face the afternoon before yesterday.
Broken.
Disappeared.
there is none left.
Su Mu seemed to have lost everything all at once, as if he had been seriously ill. He pursed his lips but could not say anything in the end. He just stared at Su Li for a while with the coldest, most disgusting and disgusting eyes, as if he wanted to
Remembering this beautiful but vicious face, I rushed out of the classroom in tears.
after.,
Su Mu naturally became an isolated object. No one in the class was willing to talk to him, including Su Li.
only one person.
Suddenly, he began to sit silently next to Su Mu again, quietly flipping through obscure books that should not be read by this age group.
"It would be nice if there were only the two of us in this world."
she says.
"How is it possible? How is it possible that only the two of us exist?"
Su Mu played with the dogtail grass with a sad expression.
"As long as you think that's the case, I think that's the case."
Her voice has always been very soft, but it still gives people an unquestionable feeling.
"I can't do it. I feel sick when I see them now, sick! It's so disgusting!"
"I'll help you."
"How can you help?"
Su Mu turned his head and looked at her.
She smiled and didn't answer, just closed the book and left.
After that, Su Mu never saw Xia Ju again in elementary school.
It was only three days later that I discovered that the guy who had isolated me had transferred to another school. Although the teacher said nothing, some students witnessed it, and the rumor spread enthusiastically.
Someone saw Xia Ju bring a fruit knife, corner the man in the men's restroom and stab him in the thigh. They said blood flowed from the men's restroom to the outside.
Not long after, Su Mu received a letter.
"If the world of the person I like is full of unpleasant colors, then I, who like him, can help him change it to the colors he likes."
The email address of this letter is a string of English words, and there is no way to tell who sent it from the message.
Su Mu later asked what "P.R.a", "2113" and the like on the mail meant. The post office clerk said that it meant the letter was sent from abroad.
There was no signature, but Su Mu knew that the letter was sent by Xia Ju somewhere far away.
Su Mu already knew at that time that he was already in love with a girl who might be called a yandere in novels.