Zhao Rong also once gave up on himself, tearing up the big characters he had written, or throwing out the books, determined to break it down and never study again. But soon, he remembered the great love his parents and grandmother had for him.
Hope, I pick up a book again and want to overcome all difficulties and achieve certain achievements in my studies.
You know, he has been struggling in this cycle over the past few years of his studies. Before, only the old gentleman knew the true situation of his studies. He could occasionally comfort himself by thinking, maybe
Because the old gentleman is a well-known scholar, his requirements are extremely high. That's why I feel that he can't reach the level required by him. Maybe this is an ordinary situation for me.
At that time, he was sincerely grateful to his second brother, and at the same time he felt deeply disgusted with himself. He hated himself for being so ignorant, and felt that he was simply a piece of rotten wood that could not be carved. He had obviously studied with the great Confucian teacher for so many years, but he was unable to do anything.
If you don't learn it, you are at most illiterate and can recognize words.
At that time, Zhao Rong had already made up his mind that after returning home, he must seek advice from that great Confucian gentleman. No matter how disgusted he was, he disturbed his reading, and no matter when he made any noise, the great Confucian gentleman would
How will he look at himself with contempt? He must overcome his timidity, must ask Mr. Darong for advice, and must make progress in his studies.
Zhao Rong never thought about how far he had studied, whether he would take part in the imperial examination or something like that. He only hoped that when he saw his second brother again next time, he could talk freely to him about the past and present. There was no need for that.
No matter how much the second brother takes care of himself, he still has to be cautious about his words.
But Zhao Rong never thought about what Xiao Tao was saying now. It turns out that the second brother never thought that he was stupid, never thought that he was a piece of dead wood, and did not think that he was born stupider than others and could not be taught. The second brother
The two brothers even felt that it was not themselves, but that he was a Confucian scholar, which led to all kinds of difficulties in their studies.
It seemed that at that moment, the huge stone that had been pressing on Zhao Rong's heart suddenly disappeared. Zhao Rong was shocked, but felt a lightness all over his body. For a long time, he had always thought that he was inferior to others and inferior to others.
This thought disappeared. It turned out that my academic problems were not just because I was stupid. It was also possible that it was because of my great Confucian teacher.
Thinking of this, Zhao Rong didn't know how to describe his current mood. Should he be happy that he was not as stupid as a cow, or should he be sad that even his teacher was plotting against him.
Of course, Xiao Tao didn't know how complicated Zhao Rong's mood was at this time. He just felt that his young master's expression became even weirder after what he said just now. But fortunately, the young master's expression was not like that just now.
The alternation between red and white was so obvious that the whole person even showed signs of collapse, but the young master now behaved more calmly.
Although the young master didn't speak just now, it felt as if the young master's whole body and mind were not in this study, and he didn't know where he went. But now the young master can feel that he is really in front of him. Even Xiao Tao can clearly see
It can be seen that the young master seems to have become more relaxed despite his tangled emotions.
But Xiao Tao really had no choice but to experience Zhao Rong's true state of mind. He just felt that if the young master didn't speak, he had already listened to his words and was waiting for his next explanation.
For a moment, the study became quiet. Neither Zhao Rong nor Xiao Tao spoke. Zhao Rong was thinking about his own thoughts. At this time, his heart was too complicated, and he didn't know what he was feeling.
Feel.
Under such circumstances, of course he couldn't think of talking. As for Xiao Tao, he was completely observing Zhao Rong's reaction. The young master's excited reaction just now frightened him. So now, although he said it again
There was a piece of news coming from Master Gong, which was also suspicious of his own young master’s situation at home.
But now he is not in a hurry to urge the young master to make any decision. Instead, he is carefully observing Zhao Rong's reaction, fearing that the young master cannot accept it and is almost on the verge of collapse like before.
Fortunately, Xiao Tao's worries this time were completely unnecessary. Although Zhao Rong was really thinking about everything at this time, he didn't know what to say. But his current mood was completely different from the one where he couldn't believe it just now, but in his heart
It's a different feeling of being entangled and divided than knowing that this is the case.
He just didn't know what to say at the moment. But the feeling in his heart was obviously much better than when he heard Xiao Tao say that his parents didn't care about him just now.
But after feeling relaxed for a while, Zhao Rong looked a little unbelievable and asked Xiao Tao again: "Xiao Tao, you said that the second brother and others told me that they think the reason why I have such difficulty in studies is not because of me.
The reason? Or maybe it’s not all my fault. Is that what you meant by what you just said?"
Zhao Rong really found it hard to believe what Xiao Tao said just now. Could it be that he had always thought that it was because he was too stupid that it was difficult to make progress in his studies. Could it be that this was not because of what he thought?
Is it because of my great Confucian gentleman?
But how did the second brother and the others know about this matter? I had never told them too much about my study problems. After all, it was only after I went out that I discovered that I was simply illiterate. Apart from a few acquaintances
Words, those words connected together, he had some problems understanding.
Judging from the fact that when the second brother talked to him later, he tried to use simple words and would not mix in other allusions, Zhao Rong knew that the second brother must have discovered that he had no idea about the things he mentioned in his words.
, I don’t know at all, so I took care of myself. The second brother deliberately changed his speaking habits to avoid his own embarrassment.
Zhao Rong has always known that it is difficult for him to achieve the standards that his teacher wants him to achieve academically. After all, every time the great Confucian gentleman looks at himself, he seems to see something unclean.
Anything. Whenever you let your husband see you, it will stain his eyes. (To be continued)