A woman who looked exactly like Li Hongyu walked towards the dancing horse.
Passing by Wu Ma, the woman was about to speak, but Wu Ma said first: "I am not a god, nor am I a monster. Don't ask."
The woman was stunned and replied after a while: "You are not a god or a monster, but you can guess what I want to say. Could it be that you are a fortune teller?"
After hearing these words, Dancing Horse seemed to be struck by lightning falling sharply from the clear sky.
Fortune teller, fortune teller...if your destiny is already written, what else is there to tell?
He thought to himself: If you want to pass the divine decree, why do you have to follow the original plot of the movie? If you follow the plot, you will end up fighting the Bull Demon King with a tight curse. There is no creativity at all. This is not in line with the style of the divine decree.
, God’s decree would not be so easy on him.
It must change... The last reminder of the divine decree from the Two Realms Mountain appeared after Yuwen Jianxue was eaten by the Black Lotus Tiger Demon. He and Yuwen Jianxue lived as a couple for several years without receiving any reminder.
.This time it will probably be the same, there still needs to be some changes.
When it comes to changing the plot, Wu Ma's mind comes alive. Although the Westward Journey movie is good, he has long wanted to change the plot. Why should Zixia suffer so much?
This time the script is in Wu Ma's hands, and he wants Fairy Zixia to control her own destiny!
"You guessed it!"
Wu Ma looked serious and pinched his fingers, "I am the supreme divine fortune teller who people in the world call 'five hundred years in front and five hundred years in total'."
I think the girl has a kind face and is in love with me. I will do a fortune telling for you today, how about I only charge 200 coins?"
The woman smiled and said: "If the calculation is accurate, I will give it to you, if not, I will kill you."
The dancing horse pretended to be scared, his face gradually turned pale, he pinched his fingers and pretended to count.
After a while, he raised his head and said, "Girl, I guess your name is Zixia. You have a twin sister who looks exactly like you, named Qingxia."
"Hey," Zixia looked surprised, "can you really tell fortunes?"
"Miss Zixia, the name of the sword in your hand is Ziqing Sword," Wu Ma looked like a master from the world, "The bell on your wrist is called Silver Cord Golden Bell, right?"
"What else do you know?"
Zixia seemed to notice something was wrong, and her face began to look bad.
Dancing Horse ignored her and continued:
"I also know that you and your sister fought too hard in the previous life, so the Buddha rolled you two together and turned into a wick, asking you to practice hard to resolve this grudge. Unfortunately, it went against your wishes, and instead you fought harder than before.
Even more powerful."
As he was talking, he wanted to stroke his beard like those Taoist priests who really tell fortunes, but when he put his hand on his chin, he realized that he didn't have one, so he had to touch his chin in embarrassment.
This look has the air of some ruffians teasing a decent woman in a deserted corner.
It's a pity that Zixia is not a good woman, but a Tiangong fairy with outstanding fighting ability.
In the movie, Erlangshen took the Roaring Dog and the Four Heavenly Kings of Nantianmen to capture Zixia, but she ran away easily. In the end, the poor Roaring Dog fell in love with a mortal bitch during the hunt.
He was beaten to the teeth by Erlang Shen.
"I should have known you had a problem,"
Zixia's face turned cold, she pointed her sword at the dancing horse and said, "Show yourself."
As he spoke, a sword light shot towards the dancing horse.
The dancing horse rolled and crawled and ran in panic, but was still shot in the buttocks. It rolled around on the ground and screamed in pain.
"Ah, I hit the wrong person,"
Zixia was a little panicked and quickly came over,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you were Erlangshen in disguise. Who knew you knew so much?
Alas, Erlang Shen has always chased me with his barking dog since I came down to earth. It has made me a little nervous recently.
Then...this is the peeing cow pill, the holy medicine for healing in the fairy world. Take it quickly and you will be fine soon."
Dancing Horse took the healing medicine, and as expected, her pain was greatly relieved.
"Fairy Zixia,"
He said: "Although you hurt me, I am magnanimous. The general's forehead can run a horse and I don't care about anything. I hope you will change your ways from now on, think twice before you act, and don't always say which mountain is yours."
Everything in the mountains belongs to you, so don’t just put stamps on animals and stamps on people. Doing so is simply against human nature and you will be punished by God in the future.”
"Hey, I suddenly remembered that I didn't ask just now—"
Zixia smiled and said, "What's your name?"
"You don't change your name when you're sitting, you don't change your surname when you stand, that's what Wu Ma is."
"Ah... Wu Ma, what a good name," Zixia came close to Wu Ma, "Hey, you are so good at telling fortunes, can you help me see what my future husband will look like?"
"Do you still need to watch?"
"Don't you need to look?"
"Whoever can pull out your sword is your husband."
"Wow, you can even calculate this?"
"Otherwise, how could I have gained the prestigious reputation of being the 'Supreme Divine Calculator' in the dangerous world?"
"That's what I said, but I've been looking for someone to pull out my sword every day, and I haven't found my sweetheart after decades of searching. When will this end? Why don't you help me? Tell me who can pull out my sword.
Baojian, wouldn’t it be better if I just go to him?”
"Fortune tellers are not Tathagata Buddha, how can they be so accurate?"
"Actually, Tathagata Buddha can't tell for sure. I asked him when I was making wicks," Zixia sighed, and soon became excited again: "Hey, you can tell me where he is now, and shrink it a little.
You can also give me the direction of the search."
Wu Ma looked at Zixia and said nothing for a long time. He realized that this was a great opportunity for Zixia to give up hanging on a tree, and he must seize it.
"Girl, let me give you a piece of advice——"
"Why are you so serious all of a sudden?"
"Never fall in love with a man who can pull out a purple and green sword."
"Um...this kind of thing is not what a fortune teller should say," Zixia scratched her head, "It's more like what Erlang Shen said."
Wu Ma suddenly approached Zixia, staring directly at her to enhance his sense of oppression, "They are all cold-blooded animals and will only hurt you."
"them?"
"Yes," Wu Ma stepped back, "do you think there is only one man in the world who can pull out the purple-green sword? No, there are at least two."
"This is the first time in my life that I have heard such a new statement...my purple-green sword actually has something I don't know about," Zixia burst out laughing, "Then tell me what the names of these two people are.
"
"I mean at least two people, not just two."
"Then at least name two people. Otherwise, how can I believe you if your words are so vague?"
"You believe me when I tell you?"
"yes."
"How about just saying your last name and not your first name?
After all, I am speaking ill of other people, and I have to protect their privacy and prevent them from knowing that I am speaking ill of them and then beating me up. These two people are really powerful, maybe even more powerful than you.
Little by little.”
"You've thought it through quite a bit."
"Then I said it."
"uh-huh."
"These two people, one has the surname Zhi and the other has the surname Wu."
"Hey, I remember your last name is Wu, isn't it?"
"Wrong, my Wu is Koutian Wu, Wei Shu Wu, the dance of that cold-blooded animal is that of a flying dragon and a phoenix. They are completely different.
I am a warm and hospitable person, lively and generous. As for that cold-blooded animal, you will know it as soon as you meet him. He is very annoying. If you see him for a while, you will feel like vomiting, and you will vomit your large and small intestines together."
"Oh, one is named Zhi, the other is Wu... By the way, which one is Zhi?"
"Zhi is the [Supreme Divine Calculator] looking at five hundred years in advance and five hundred years in total, one thousand years in total. Of course, this person named Zhi has nothing to do with me."
"Both of these last names are very strange. Are you sure?"
"You must be very sure. In short, if you meet people with these two surnames in the future when you travel around the world, you must stay away from them, otherwise it will delay you for the rest of your life."
"Yes, I understand," Zixia nodded vigorously, "There are probably only a few of these two surnames in the world, so the scope has been greatly reduced. As for me, I will look for men with these two surnames in the future and let them draw their swords.
alright."
"Are you specifically against me?"
Wu Ma's face turned dark, "If you act like this, we won't be able to have a pleasant conversation. You have to do whatever I say you won't let me do. I'm a fortune teller and I don't want to lose face."
"There is no way. I am destined to find the man who can pull out the purple and green sword as my husband. No one can change God's arrangement."
Zixia said while staring at Wu Ma's face,
"Hey, I suddenly remembered that you haven't drawn my sword yet. Do you want to try?"
"Don't do it..."
Wu Maquan didn't expect Zixia's brain circuit to be so powerful, so she subconsciously took a step back, only to realize that she had accidentally been attacked.
The female general on the opposite side of the battlefield said a few words to Chunfenghuayu, and when he was careless, she drew her sword and swung her sword to kill Mingmen, leaving him defenseless.
"Why should I try?" In a hurry, Wu Ma waved his sword to block, "My surname is neither Zhi nor Wu, so even if I try, it will be in vain."
"But you and I are in love. The first time I saw you, I felt particularly cordial. It was as if we had met you many, many times...
Oops, maybe you saved my life in your previous life. Maybe I saved your life.
Otherwise, why would I want to talk to you when I see you?"
Wu Ma thought: You fairy, there is something wrong with your head, but I feel very accurate. I really saved your life, and I almost lost my life because of saving you.
If you think I look very friendly, it means you still have some conscience, and it is not in vain that I have put so much effort into making the rest of your life happier.
"what are you thinking?"
Zixia waved her hand in front of Wu Ma, "Wake up."
"By the way, isn't your surname Wu?" Seeing Wu Ma come to his senses, she hurriedly handed the purple-green sword in front of Wu Ma, "Wu and Wu have the same pronunciation, so we can't completely exclude them from the scope. Well,
Just try it."
"Do you know you're going to be in trouble?"
The dancing horse stretched out his hand to indicate that he did not want to, and his expression was pretending to be serious.
"Those of us who eat food from the underworld have revealed too many secrets. We are all guilty of the [five evils and three deficiencies]. We are very bad and bad luck.
This purple-green sword of yours is the sword of marriage and fortune. Don't even ask me to pull it out. Even if it has a trace of my breath, it will destroy your marriage to nothing. In the end, you will be a bachelor for the rest of your life, and you will be old.
There’s not even a body collector!”
"I don't care."
Qingxia continued to send the purple-green sword over.
"..." Wu Ma was stunned, "Wait a minute, don't you understand what [Five Disadvantages and Three Deficiencies] are? Listen to me. After I explain it clearly, you will probably pee in fear when you hear my name in the future.
We have to hide thousands of miles away——"
"The five disadvantages are [being widowed, widowed, lonely, alone, and disabled]; the three disadvantages are [money, life, and power]. Of course I know this, after traveling around for many years,"
Zixia giggled and said: "But I am a god. Are gods afraid that no one will collect the corpse? You are really stupid. Hurry! Get the sword."
As he spoke, he thrust the purple-green sword into the arms of the dancing horse.
“Wait a minute!
Fairy Zixia, before I draw my sword, I want to ask you a question first."
Wu Ma took a deep breath. Because of the moment when he was stunned and the nonsense that followed, he got a rare respite in the battlefield where swords and swords were fighting to the death, and he thought clearly about a crucial matter.
Question, prepare to chop back with your machete.
"You are so verbose, shouldn't a man be straightforward and happy?"
"Tell me, what is the most important thing for two people to fall in love?"
"Ah, this question is so profound...
Love each other?
Hit it off?
Do you have common interests, hobbies and topics?
Is there anything you can’t finish talking about?
…
Can't live without each other?
Thinking about each other every day? Unexpected."
"What you said is correct," Wu Ma said, "but it boils down to two words - feeling. If it feels right, everything is right."
"What does this have to do with you drawing your sword?"
"But it has something to do with you! How can you judge such a serious matter of finding your sweetheart only by whether the other person can pull out a sword with no emotion and no cognitive ability? Isn't it too hasty?
What if the man who can pull out the purple-green sword is a big devil who kills people without blinking an eye? What if he is a domestic violence man who comes home drunk every day and beats his wife?
What if he has no feelings for you and just wants to play with your body? What if he has countless wives outside and is a complete scumbag?
What if he is a mama's boy, a phoenix boy, a straight man with cancer? What should you do if he is a PUA?
All these are unknown and cannot be judged by whether he can pull out the sword. They can only be understood by two people getting to know each other for a long time and exploring each other.
So, how can you leave your destiny to a sword named Zi Qing Bao?
It’s just a baby on its own!”
"Oh... you are so excited, but..."
Zixia seemed to be moved by Wu Ma's almost non-stop machine gun fire words.
Although she didn't hear many words clearly in the other party's words, some words she heard clearly but couldn't understand at all, and some words she didn't even hear, it was... undeniable that what this fortune teller said did make sense.
.
Zixia thought silently for a long time, then suddenly raised her head,
"You are right. Whether a man is my sweetheart cannot be judged just by whether he can pull out the purple-green sword. This is very hasty."
The dancing horses applauded.
"but,"
Zixia held the purple-green sword tightly and stared at it,
"Only by pulling out the purple-green sword can you become my sweetheart. This is also arranged by God.
You just told me that there is more than one man in the world who can pull out the purple-green sword. I can try a few more times.
As long as I find a man who can draw a sword, I will try to get along with him.
If he is a domestic violence man, I will kill him immediately to prevent him from harming women in the world.
If he is a scumbag, I will cut off his penis so that he can never harm good women in his life.
Afterwards, I will take the purple-green sword to find the next target. After I find it, I will see if he is my sweetheart and what his character is. If his character is not good, I will kill him.
It goes round and round, never stops, hard work pays off, and I will find him one day.
At that time, the two of us will be flying together, wandering around the world, doing chivalry and justice, how happy it will be!"
Dancing Horse was dumbfounded.
I didn't expect that my well-intentioned words would be misinterpreted by Zixia in this way. If Zixia really followed the method she said, the world of Westward Journey would probably lose an infatuated and gentle peerless fairy from now on.
There is another female devil who kills without blinking an eye.
"Hey," Zixia looked at Wu Ma and stuffed the purple-green sword into Wu Ma's arms, "No need to say more, I have made up my mind, let you, the fortune teller named Wu, come first."
"..."
"Hey, are you able to pull it out? That's why you're pushing and tugging, mummy-in-law?"
"of course not!"
"Then hurry up and pull it out. It's done. It will save us all time!"
"What are you in a hurry for?"
The dancing horse was forced to the mountain wall with no way to retreat, "Just pull it out! I'm a fortune teller and I'm afraid of you."
As he spoke, he grabbed the hilt of the sword with one hand and the scabbard with the other, and pulled hard on both sides.
The sword edge loosened slightly at first, but in the end it stopped moving at all.
Dancing Horse was stunned.
Because this time he wasn't pretending that he couldn't pull it out. Facts have proved that pretending in front of Zixia is useless.
This time, he really couldn't pull it out, even with all his strength.
Zixia looked on with a disappointed expression on her face,
"Hey, it seems it's really not you..."
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