Diansuo finally found a place to sit down in the house. He didn't want to sit on the sofa because there were several pairs of red and black underwear on it.
Did you think they were Deadpool’s customized underwear? Nope.
Wade's underwear was bought at a small supermarket on the street. A pack cost ten dollars, forty pairs, all in white.
Now the red should be blood, black... I don’t know what the black cable is, and I don’t know how long I have been wearing these underwear. They have become hard in the air, standing upright like a spike trap.
.
The dust in the sunlight was clearly visible, and they slowly fell on the sharp corners of the underwear.
"I thought you should move out at this point." Cable looked around and simply sat on the dining table nearby. Although it was a little greasy, it was actually about as greasy as the sofa.
"I originally moved out, but Vanessa is not at home every day. At least I still have Afu here with me. Sometimes loneliness can really drive people crazy. Can you see the loneliness and despair in my heart?
Oh, little Cable, you definitely can’t see that I have always been a handsome and sunny man.”
"Don't call me Cable, damn it."
"Why not? I'm of the same generation as Scott and Jean. You should have called me uncle. Well, Uncle Wade. It sounds pretty good, a little like Uncle Sam. I need you! How about it? You want to
Don’t want to join the army?”
Wade took out a top hat with the stars and stripes painted on it from nowhere, put it on his head, got up from the ground and made the movements seen on the recruitment posters during World War II.
"I put it on wrong. The flag on the hat is Cuba's."
"Is there a difference? I love the United States because the police here often don't show up until much later, but I also like Cuban cigars and hot Latin girls with dark skin. By the way, we have money now and go to Cuba.
How do you like it? You seem a little old, but it doesn't matter. If I paint you purple, both men and women will scream for you."
"Do I need to remind you? It's during Infinity War, and 50% of all living things in the universe have disappeared. We should go to Thanos to settle accounts, instead of dressing up as Thanos to settle accounts with me, let alone me and him.
Nothing like it.”
Cable stared at Wade expressionlessly, looking at him with contempt.
Deadpool held his chin and thought for a while, it seemed that this was indeed the case. The trip to World War II made him forget some things: "Yes, you reminded me, you killed Peter, you beast!"
"Again, it's Thanos, not me." Cable began to check his weapons. Regardless of whether Wade went or not, he had to take action.
"You don't understand. You and Thanos were both played by Josh Brolin. I even watched your sex scene with the Scarlet Witch. Phew..." Wade winked at him and made a
He wiped the nosebleed, but soon came up with a new idea: "If I go out of the script and kill Josh, both you and Thanos will cease to exist. Are you willing to sacrifice for our world?"
Cable stood up and walked to Deadpool, looking down at Wade condescendingly: "I don't know what you mean by the 'actor gag' you keep talking about, but I am indeed alive, and I am completely different from Thanos.
An independent individual."
Wade wiped the saliva from his face, then suddenly turned his hand back and pinched two points on Cable's chest, pinching it like beans, and made a "beep" sound in his mouth.
"You actually have a 'doorbell button' on your metal half? How can I believe that you are real? But I don't think Afu can tell the material of the button. Do you want to date her?"
Deadpool’s roommate Afu is a great beauty. Of course, a premise needs to be added, which is ‘sixty years ago’.
Now she is just an ordinary-looking black blind old lady.
But if you hear her full name, you won't think she is so ordinary. Her full name is Ash el Al, and she is also known as "El the Blind One".
She claims to be a former SSR field agent who fought in World War II and once dated Captain America, and she really knows Paige and Lorraine.
But Wade felt that she might have been a Hydra before, or a mutant, or a Kryptonian who smuggled over with her cousin, because he was sure that her eyes could emit red lasers.
Who would believe that it is for ordinary people? There are so many medicines under the floor, and the amount of medicine that ordinary people enjoy every meal should have ascended to heaven long ago.
In order to keep her secret, Wade called her "Afu" and appointed her as his housekeeper. Of course, this was his unilateral decision.
"Are you completely crazy? Now I'm going to Yankee Stadium to find Captain America and the others, will you come?"
Cable has lost his patience and is ready to leave Deadpool and go it alone. It's really difficult to communicate when Deadpool is going crazy.
"Okay, okay, to be honest, you don't have any sense of humor, you will lose your popularity." Wade put his knives on his back, put on his hood again, and nodded helplessly: "The taxi is right outside the door.
At the intersection, my weapons should also be in the car. The good news is that half of the people in New York have disappeared and the traffic situation has greatly eased. I want to keep the status quo."
"But at least half of your mission targets and clients are dead, which means your income has also been halved." Cable pointed to the crux of the problem.
"Fuck! Take me to Captain America quickly. I'm going to use Thanos' headless corpse to vent the fire tonight."
When he heard that his income had been cut in half, Deadpool was more active than anyone else. He rushed out the door, and Cable couldn't even keep up with him.
On the deserted street, Indian driver Duponde was bobbing his head and listening to classic old songs. The car was using Narcissus Daydream scented tablets produced in New Delhi, which made him immune to the smell of Deadpool and only regarded himself as himself.
Wandering on the banks of the Ganges.
Deadpool rushed over, opened the car door and got into the passenger seat, breathing heavily.
"Huhu... drive quickly."
The driver looked at Cable rushing towards him from the other side of the street. Didn't these two people turn enemies into friends? Why was Cable still chasing Mr. Killer?
But he didn't think much about it, instead he stepped on the accelerator, and the car rushed out like a rocket.
Cable could only stop and helplessly watch the taxi disappear around the corner, desperately resisting the urge to shoot the car.
The Indian looked at Wade, turned the steering wheel quickly with a smile, and talked to him in curry-flavored English: "Being hunted again, Mr. DP?"
"No, he and I are on the same team, but I'm in a hurry."
"Ha, that's another relaxing day, huh?" Adu nodded sharply. He understood Deadpool's thoughts and rushed to get into the taxi. Isn't it normal?
In urban areas of New York, such dramas happen every day. Mr. Deadpool is very happy to have won over his friend.
"It's not bad, the earth has lost half its population, and my favorite Spider-Man has also become fertilizer. I returned to World War II to make some money...Forget it, let's talk about you, the recent relationship with Gita
how's it going?
Wade rubbed his head, recalled what he had done, and then pointed to the place under the steering wheel, where there was a photo of a beautiful Indian woman.
Adu touched the steering wheel and skillfully avoided the empty cars parked on the road. The drivers of those cars suddenly disappeared while they were driving. Collisions caused by car accidents could be seen everywhere.
"After killing my cousin Bandu like a chicken in a car accident, I followed the method you taught me and kidnapped her like a real man. Recently, she no longer wants to escape or call the police. Those remote-controlled bombs you gave me
It really makes people obey.”
"Well done, I'm proud of you, really, man, come on, give me a high five."
Deadpool raised his hands and looked at the taxi driver with relief. When he saw this young man trapped in love, he kindly pointed out a way for him. Now he is living a very happy life.
The driver immediately let go of the steering wheel, high-fived Deadpool with both hands, and smiled like a flower. He could control the direction of the car using his knees without looking at the road.
"So, are you going to defend the earth next?" After celebrating with Wade, Adu touched the steering wheel again: "I knew that there were so many people missing in New York. They must be aliens.
There’s another invasion, what are you going to do, MR.D?”
"Wow, you are really talented. This time it is indeed a purple monster who looks like Bruce Willis who is causing trouble, but no problem, Uncle Deadpool will be able to deal with him right away."
The white eyes on Wade's mask narrowed into slits. Should he still find Colossus and Negative Sonic Girl Warhead first? It seems that Captain America is still a little behind against Thanos...
However, when the driver heard Deadpool's answer, he did not doubt him. Instead, he described the scene in his mind: "Then you will cut off the alien's head, use it as a toilet, and shit into his mouth, and use his
Cut up the body and feed it to the dogs, and then burn the dog excrement to smoke bacon for him to eat?"
"Well... I think you should tone down your anti-hero status a bit."
Deadpool used his thumb and forefinger to create a small gap. Although he sometimes used dark tricks, Adu's method went beyond the limit.
Because... isn't shitting in Thanos' mouth a bit too erotic? Is this sexually suggestive and SM? Fifty Shades of Gray is rated R, but Deadpool still wants to strive for PG-13.
"Sorry, did I go too far?" The driver showed an embarrassed expression.
"Fortunately, next time you can say that you are defecating into the headless esophagus. As long as it doesn't pass through the mouth, it won't be sexually suggestive."
"Oh, following Mr. DP, you will learn a lot."
"It was fate that made us meet in the first place."
"I thought it was a taxi app..."
"Ahem... By the way, this business is not easy to do. Thanos has female subordinates, and his skin color is different from ours... Just hit women, some people say you are sexist, but no
Fight, that would be even more discriminatory... Black Panther's opponent can be a black man, and my opponent is always white. So will I be sued if I fight Thanos? Sue me for discriminating against foreign ethnic groups?
"
"No, MR.P, you are like a relative of mine. If someone sues you, I can testify for you in court." The driver pointed to his skin color and asked him to pretend to be a black man.
"Thank you, Adu, but I have an idea. I have to find Colossus first. He is good at fighting women, and his skin color is the fairest, allowing him to attract the firepower of public opinion."
Deadpool rubbed his eyes in emotion and came up with an idea. Instead of looking for Captain America, he would go to Xavier Academy first.
Adu remembered Colossus. The metal man rode in his car once, and then the car's chassis was overhauled. However, Deadpool needed help now, and as a driver and comrade, he was duty-bound.
He immediately began to adjust his direction, preparing to leave the city and go to the college on the outskirts of the city. At this moment, both of them clearly felt the back seat of the car sinking.
"Wade, come with me."
"Slade?"
It was Su Ming and his party who appeared in the back seat. The four of them were crowded together. Little Luoli and Little Shota were temporarily stored in the limbo of 1945. At this time, there were only a few adults.
It was a bit cramped with a few people crammed into the back seat, and it looked like the situation on the New York subway during rush hour.
"Ah!" The driver was startled by the sudden appearance of the person, and the car turned left and right on the road as if he was drunk.
"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, this is my cousin, he has never killed an Indian." Wade immediately held the steering wheel and comforted Adu.
"Then he plans to try something new today?" Adu shivered. Among the four people in the back row, one man and one woman gave people a very dangerous feeling, like predators at the top of the food chain.
"Maybe not?" Deadpool pinched his chin and fell into thinking.