Shenyou can't remember anything that happened before he was four or five years old.
She was not as doted on by her father as her younger sister Yiyou, nor was she as smart and generous as her elder sister Foyou. When she was first brought back from the north, the medical officer said that she was so stunned that she was too frightened. This was also said by her sister later.
After telling her, sister Yan He asked her: "——How much do you remember about what happened back then?"
Shenyou was copying the "Heart Sutra" when he heard the words and looked over blankly.
"That's it..." Foyou paused, and his voice became softer inadvertently, "What happened in the years when I was captured in the Kingdom of Jin."
Shenyou shook her head, but the tip of her hair was soaked in ink. As she shook her head, a drop of thick stain stained the paper.
She couldn't remember it, but it always seemed like she was dreaming about it. When she woke up, her pillow was soaked with sweat and tears, but she couldn't remember anything. Just thinking about it gave her a splitting headache and trembling all over.
My sister told her about things in the North Country, very carefully and slowly. Shenyou listened as if she was watching flowers in the mist. She always felt like she was listening to someone else's story, and it couldn't awaken her memory. Fu Mu
He advised her that this was not a good thing. Why should the princess think about it so much? She was a little stubborn, but did not refute, and just gave Fu Mu a cold look.
Everyone said that Princess Shenyou's eyes were always very cold and deep, which made her intimidating.
She didn't know when this comment came from, where it came from, or why it made others feel this way. In Shenyou's heart, only her sister could be called "close", and only her sister could.
You will come to the opposite conclusion - cowardice. The sister in my memory always dragged her to go to her father, to have fun with her mother and other ladies, to go out of the palace to have fun, and to tease her.
Her younger brother and sister pulled her through long dark nights, slowly falling asleep to the sound of her sister's gentle reading. The last memory before her dream was the warm touch of her palms.
Shenyou sometimes feels that her father is a sister and her mother is also a sister.
Her mother died in the Kingdom of Jin, leaving her no memory of her voice, appearance, or smile. Where is her father? He is a royal father.
What is a king's father? One word can determine life and death, and one line can determine the world. Shenyou can read and write, and every word and line in the book tells her: the king's heart is God's will, and the king's orders cannot be violated. The book also tells her: the king is the one who is the king.
The boat is carried by water. But she is just a small drop of dew. How can water dew capsize the big boat. So her father likes his children to be educated and sensible, so she and her sisters read poetry and history together. Her father never mentioned the missing empress in the north.
They, she did not express her curiosity about her biological mother in front of her father. Her father thought that Wu Jiedu's eldest son was a good trust, so she married Wu Fu.
——But that was not the case, and she was not content with it.
Shenyou doesn't like reading, I really don't like it. Sometimes she really admires her sister and Empress Wu - her sister can never let go of a book, and Empress Wu can still read endless chapters no matter how much she dislikes it. One time she heard her sister talking to Empress Wu.
When Shenyou mentioned the allusion to Buddhism and Taoism in Journey to the West, Shenyou subconsciously turned her head and looked at Pan Niangniang. At that moment, she discovered that she and Pan Niangniang actually had the same subtle mood.
Compared with reading, she likes embroidery and painting. Her sister teased her and said that her painting skills are all based on drawing shapes. She didn't know whether to refute this, but in the end she was the same.
She continued in silence. When her father took her and her sister to Xiangguo Temple for the first time, she was amazed by the buildings and animals on the walls that seemed to be alive, which was something that the dilapidated Ouchi palace that she was used to seeing did not have.
Ethereal, mysterious and magnificent. After returning home, she carefully traced those murals on paper, and then embroidered them into a table screen. However, this childish but exquisite table screen and painting did not bring her any praise, of course.
, the only people who saw it were Fu’s mother and sister.
Fu's mother frowned, the respect on her face mixed with disapproval: "The official family doesn't like gods and Buddhas, how can the princess..."
She didn't finish her words. With a "bang" sound, Shenyou turned around and threw the thick "Selected Works" in her sister's hand on the ground. However, there was no sign of anger. She only stared at her with a gentle face and asked, "Scaring you?"
Yet?"
Shenyou shook her head, turned around and opened her arms to her sister, and landed in a familiar, warm embrace as she wished. She buried her head in her sister's neck and saw Fu Mu bending down on the clear glass, respectfully
The ground retreated. Finally, she stared at herself in the reflection, her eyes slightly bent, with a little bit of undetectable satisfaction.
——This year is the fifth year of Jianyan.
In the fifth year of Jianyan's reign, my younger sister Yiyou was not yet one year old, and her elder sister had already been married off by her father. In the seventh year of Jianyan's reign, she also had a consort.
Shenyou has never thought about the consort or marriage. She was once anxious about the birth of her sister Yiyou. She is her sister's sister, and Yiyou is also her sister's sister. Her father likes her sister so much, but Shenyou doesn't care.
, but she doesn’t know if her sister will like Yiyou more like her father.
She and her sister were raised in Pan Niangniang's palace. In the past, Pan Niangniang only greeted them every day. After having a younger sister, she kept a distance from them. Foyou often took her to look for her father, but now she is in her father's arms.
Chang had a younger sister. Shenyou quietly watched her sister sitting next to her father playing with the child, but she felt dazzled. Finally, when her sister tried to drag her to find her father again, Shenyou dodged away.
.
The sister looked over in surprise. She lowered her head and told her bluntly that she didn't like Yiyou.
Why? There are too many reasons. In the past, my father’s arms belonged to my sister. Shenyou was afraid of other people’s contact, so every time, my sister took the initiative to throw herself into her father’s arms and then stretched out her hand to hold her. Once upon a time, Fu Mu, the empress in the palace
What we are most concerned about is our sister. All she hears is her sister gently returning greetings to those who greet her, instead of her silent return greetings. In the past, her sister was the center of attention, but she, Zhao Shenyou, is the sister.
Sister's focus.
Unexpectedly, my sister looked around at the deserted area and said expressionlessly: "You think I really want to go?"
My sister has always been the Princess of the Song Dynasty who was praised by everyone, like a figure who came out of countless words of praise for royal ladies. This is the first time that Shenyou has seen her sister express her "unpleasant" so clearly.
The emotion "should" exist. She raised her head and looked over in surprise. Her sister had already taken the lead in lifting her skirt and stepping across the threshold. She was still the demure, beautiful, filial and benevolent princess.
Shenyou lost his mind at this moment.
There is a saying among the people that a five-year-old or a six-year-old is always making trouble, and a seven-year-old or an eight-year-old is a dog. Shenyou and his sister were just frivolous "yellow-haired girls" in Zhao Songguan's family. No one had ever asked him to experience what it means to be a dog.
Shenyou doesn't know why. She is just afraid. She is afraid of her father. But she also respects her sister. That kind of dependence and endless trust seems to be a mark flowing in her blood.
In the past, she believed that her sister would not abandon her, and even less so now - she suddenly felt indescribable joy. She understood that only she, Zhao Shenyou, had seen such a side of her sister, unabashedly,
The ordinary side.
But that soon changed. The person who took away her privileges was her sister's consort, Yue Yun, the eldest son of Yue Jiedu.
After the marriage between Foyou and Shenyou was settled, both consorts practiced martial arts for a year or two, first Yue Yun and then Wu Fu. Shenyou didn't know what this meant at first, and neither did her sister.
However, this "unconsciousness" soon became a fantasy of divine blessing. She heard with her own ears how her sister secretly and euphemistically inquired about Yue Jiedu and his consort, inquired about her father's attitude, and witnessed with her own eyes how her sister and his consort.
Her future prince-in-law sat across from her, one was shy yet honest and sincere, and the other was elegant and elegant, hiding all his exquisite features.
A perfect match, Shenyou said, paying careful attention to her sister's expression. But her sister hugged her and asked for a long time if she wanted to meet Wu Fu too, or write a letter like her sister.
Shenyou refused.
She hates anything that requires interacting with other people, and she especially hates being touched by men, including her father. The only person she doesn't hate is probably her sister. No one knows why, and no one cares about it. It's just condescension.
It’s just a trivial quirk of Princess Zhao Song. Shenyou didn’t know why she had to marry, and she didn’t know how she and her sister had a consort, and even a younger sister who was stumbling when walking. She once heard
Her sister read to her the old story of Princess Taiping in the New Tang Dynasty. She never thought about gaining power like Taiping, but she really wanted to be like Taiping who could avoid marriage in the name of practicing Taoism - Shenyou really wanted to become a Qianxiu.
layman.
It stands to reason that as the years go by, fewer and fewer people will go against his will when it comes to things that dad doesn't like. But after dad was surprised to get the answer that she was definitely "interested in Buddhism and Buddhism", he just looked at it.
She frowned at the scriptures on her desk. Later, when my sister thought about it, she inadvertently wondered that she was not afraid of her father being angry. Shenyou replied firmly, "I knew not."
The sister was holding Yue Yun's letter in her hand. She was stunned for a moment before she came to her senses and praised her for being quite transparent.
Of course she is transparent. She knows that her father will not care about such trivial matters. He only practices meditation and reads one or two volumes of scriptures, and does not want to become a monk. Just like in the future, as long as she does not go to war to get married or divorce, her father will probably
It doesn't matter whether she is deeply in love with the consort or they have different dreams. Her parents ordered her to marry a matchmaker, Princess Zhao Song and the general Xungui, and even Shenyou seem to be luckier today. Now that her father's authority is growing, at least she doesn't
There is no need to worry about being like Princess Yongshou and Emperor Chongde who will be virtuous until death under the picky hands of famous ministers and nobles. She only needs to marry and live or be happy like thousands of blindly married couples.
Or he may live a miserable life, just as his father wished, it would be the icing on the cake for the overall situation of the world that he only cared about.
But she was just a little bit unwilling...it wasn't even unwilling, it could only be described as helpless and sad.
Wu Fu was not as good as Yue Yun or Yue Jiedu in his literary skills and military skills, nor was he as good as Han Yanzhi (presumed to be Yiyou's consort, the eldest son of Han Shizhong) who had turned against his father's nephew Long Wen. He was like most of the yamen, without
It's so good, but it's not that bad. It's not that there are no criticisms that have reached their ears. Some people even say that this is the reason why the second princess has always been the most inconspicuous in front of the official family, and that everything is fate.
Everything is fate, and no one can control it at all. It is recognized by God’s blessing.
She had to admit that her sister was really in love with her consort, and Yiyou was really peaceful as they grew old together. She was the only one who respected each other like a guest, like a guest of ice. There was nothing wrong with Wu Fu, but others admitted that
His father's smoothness and delicacy could not understand the princess's hidden and unconcealable resistance and indifference, let alone her years of tossing and turning and loneliness.
Shenyou doesn't know whether my father and my two mothers have noticed it. In the past few years, only Chengping's mother (Empress Dowager Wei) said it once in private and semi-explicitly during the New Year. This is somewhat inappropriate. My uncle must be a member of the official family.
of Qiancheng.
During the New Year's Eve banquet, everyone was talking and laughing, but this sentence was like a blow to the head, directly and violently knocking away what she didn't want to admit - the fault was hers, and whatever the reason was, it was hers.
Shenyou was in the warm hall, with the consort who was accustomed to her melancholy expression beside her, but she seemed to be standing alone on the white earth, with biting ice and snow, and no one to rely on.
Those who know me say I am worried, those who don’t know me say what I want. Her wandering eyes subconsciously found her sister, until she didn’t know when her sister pulled her away from the table. Just like when she was a child, she could not bear it countless times.
Her face turned purple when she was among the crowd. Her sister took her forward aimlessly along the deserted path.
After a long time, Shenyou heard her sister's voice. She comforted her as gently as before, "Is it possible that you have been wronged in some way? Just tell her."
Shenyou talked incoherently, talking about the prince-in-law, brothers and sisters, mother, mother, and father. She seemed to regain her senses at the end of the story, and her words stopped abruptly, and she whispered for a long time: "I
I really can’t... I can’t do it, sister, I can’t do it.”
I can't be a princess that meets my expectations, nor can I be an ideal wife. I'm chasing you in vain, trying to hide behind my sister as I did before, using her as my only shelter.
.
But my sister and I have grown up. My sister has her own prince-in-law and will have her own children.
Shenyou hesitated to speak, but in the end he just hugged his sister as before and sighed very softly and finely where she couldn't see.
...I can no longer be willful.
They didn't know when they came near the stone pavilion that was their sister's favorite place. The place that was usually filled with ministers and ministers was now empty. The dim red afterglow of the winter evening passed through the gray mulberry branches and scattered in bits and pieces.
On the ground. Night is approaching, and the hook-like bright moon in the distance is crooked on the eaves of the palace, mixed with the lights from all over the palace, permeating the darkening night, and the emptiness is stretched infinitely.
"Blessed by God, the scenery here is not as good as that of the thatched pavilion on the hill, but I love this place the most. Do you know why?" The sister said as if she was asking herself a question, "Because I can rely on my father not to care. I don't need to."
If you report or request, you can come here and see from a distance how your father and husband are working hard to conquer the world. Others can't do it, not even Empress Wu and Empress Pan."
"——This is the place where I can most clearly feel that the official family is our father. But right here, I don't know how many times I have realized that I will never be able to sit upright in that pavilion. If I can't, you
No, not even Yiyou. I'm afraid dad will never know, I only realized this idea because of dad. But so what?"
"Are there not many things in this world that are destined to happen? Are there not many things that are difficult to reconcile without reconciliation? I have personally heard people use secret thoughts to speculate about our aunts and sisters, saying that Zhao's noble daughter enjoys everything.
The glory and wealth, Jingkang's affairs are not worthy of sympathy... But this is a fact, God bless, the person who said this was a porter who was resting in a teahouse. His mother and sister were dedicated to the Jin Dynasty by Emperor Yuan Sheng back then, and their lives and deaths are still unknown...
I’m afraid I have a narrow escape from death. So what can I say?!”
"God bless you," the all-powerful, elegant and elegant sister said helplessly, "you have to live your life no matter what, you have to let yourself go."
There is no way to destroy suffering, no wisdom, no gain, so there is no gain. In the end, Shenyou really does not know whether he has let go of himself, but he has become more and more free in the Buddhist embroidery paintings.
The soldiers and horses under the father's dragon banner traveled across the great rivers and mountains. It took more than ten years to restore the foundation of the Han Dynasty and the Tang Dynasty. The era of Changping has come. Shenyou is a princess, she has no choice but to mobilize troops and travel around the mountains and rivers like an ordinary scholar.
She had no choice but to read the scrolls. She copied the murals on the Xiangguo Temple that had amazed her on paper intact. The painting Along the River During the Qingming Festival was borrowed from her father for several years. When it was returned, it turned out to be two paintings. It was just a new one.
There are many missing bridges, but there are more mule carts on duty carrying flags and meals, people cheering at the Hanfang Garden Cuju Field, idlers waving lottery tickets, and small countries of all shapes and sizes coming to visit.
The prince-in-law didn't know much about painting. He just looked at her and looked at her as if she was working hard. After a few words of persuasion, he just let her go. His father, who everyone said was talented and elegant, was not as good as the ministers beside him.
She was a little more excited. Maybe she really let herself go. When she picked up the pen to sign the note, she didn't dodge in her father's eyes for the first time. She smiled at her sister who was grinding the ink for her while writing -
The first wish is that Zhao Song will live a thousand years; the second wish is that his father will always be healthy; the third wish is that like Liang Shangyan, we will see each other year after year.