"What is the first year of Tianqi? Have you forgotten..."
Lu Datou said with a smile: "We are going to the second year of Apocalypse, the third year when the disaster started. I originally fell in the second year of Apocalypse, but I was confused as soon as I landed. There were frontier troops all over the mountains and plains. I didn't know what the heck.
Knowing how to open a spiritual pagoda almost killed me at the foot of Ba Mountain!"
Zhao Guanren was shocked and said: "What do you mean, you won't go back, will you?"
"What if I don't go back? I'll be arrested and beheaded..."
Lu Datou spread his hands and said: "Zhao Ziqiang scolded me, but you didn't have the jade tube to go back to. He could only give me the last one, and then sent me to the time when you disappeared. I have been looking for you for two years."
Too many, do you know how miserable I am?"
"More than two years?"
Zhao Guanren said in shock: "Don't you know to leave a mark for me in Bashan? I also painted a message for you on the pagoda. What have you done?"
"Brother! You are the prince now. If I graffiti on the pagoda, I will be beaten to death if I don't..."
Lu Datou tugged on the dragon robe on his body and said: "You are so awesome. I am a fucking beggar and a gangster. I dare not go back for fear that you will be trapped here forever. You know what I have done these two years
How do you live, being ruined by a fat woman every day?"
"What kind of fat woman? You are eating soft food..."
Zhao Guanren handed him a cigarette, and the two of them squatted on the ground in unison. Lu Datou took out a horn cigarette holder from his pocket, skillfully put it on the cigarette and lit it with a match. Zhao Guanren quickly gave him a pure gold
lighter.
"Damn it! You are such a wealthy person, you have a lighter with gold and jade..."
Lu Datou said depressedly: "What can I do if I don't eat soft rice? I have a northeastern accent. If the officials catch me, I will have to do hard labor. I can only become a son-in-law of a landlord's family. His daughter is more than 160 years old."
Jin, she has to do it all day and night, I tremble when I see her!"
"Not bad! I have grown my hair..."
Zhao Guanren looked at his long hair, then pulled up his pink floral robe, and said with a smile: "Why are you dressed like an opera singer? Did you run out to work part-time instead of feeding your fat woman?"
"You Shun Guonan know a lot about this. This is called the amorous boy suit. It is the most slutty style nowadays..."
Lu Datou smiled and said: "Brother, I am now one of the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River. However, the fat woman is too strict and keeps pinching my handle all day long. The money she earns from writing poems makes her squint. Last time I went shopping
She beat every brothel half to death, it’s really unbearable!”
"I forgot that you are from the education system..."
Zhao Guanren said in confusion: "But don't you have a jade slip? Aren't you practicing well? If you don't do well, you won't be beaten by a fat woman, right?"
"Do you know what the fat woman's cultivation level is? She is from the fourth rank, her father is from the third rank, and comes from a family of military generals..."
Lu Datou curled his lips and said: "I have no talent for cultivation at all. I am still in the seventh grade after two years. His family just took a fancy to my literary talent and wanted me to take the exam to gain merit. As a result, I took the eight-legged essay exam for two consecutive years. I
I really can’t write!”
"I said! Didn't you realize that I was in Shunguo..."
Zhao Guanren said dumbfounded: "You smoke cigarettes all day long, don't you know the Three Kingdoms Water Margin card? I have even made alcohol and masks. Do I have to invent WeChat?"
"Brother! You are such a prince..."
Lu Datou said angrily: "I know that there are time travelers in this world, far more than just the two of us. I guessed that there are modern people when I saw the pictures, but I never dared to think that you could actually become a prince. How amazing is that?
It’s okay to be the emperor’s son, do you think you accept the emperor as your godfather?”
"Dad!"
Zhao Guanren raised his eyebrows and said with a coquettish smile: "The only prince with a foreign surname in Dashun and the only foreign prince in Daji, not bad, right?"
"Boss! Can I accept you as my godfather? You can also be a county king..."
Lu Datou begged obscenely: "I have slept with three women in the past two years, a fat woman, a maid, and a widow. For the sake of me following you for so many years, you also let me have a taste of the prince."
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The taste of sex, by the way! Who is the most beautiful girl in your bed?"
"Hehe~ I have tried everything you dare to think about and what you dare not think about..."
Zhao Guanren said with a bad smile: "Princess, princess, emperor concubine, imperial concubine, princess, granddaughter of the minister's family, daughter of the general's family, the concubine has called me brother, the queen has kowtowed, my wife's family accounts for four of the ten richest people in Dashun.
The cigarette factory is owned by my wife’s family!”
"What are the top ten richest people? Your wife's family accounts for four..."
Lu Datou looked at him in confusion. Zhao Guanren puffed smoke into the sky coquettishly and said: "Each of the four richest men gave me a daughter-in-law. I have two concubines, twelve nobles, and nine Shuyuan.
There are… too many that I can’t remember!”
"Boss! Please accept me as your godson. I must call you dad..."
Lu Datou hugged him fiercely and wailed: "If I could be half as good as you, I would be able to rest in peace even if I die here. I'm so miserable. I don't want to plow the fields for the fat woman anymore. Please."
Boss, let me show off and let me fly!"
"Did you enjoy your stay?"
Zhao Guanren looked at him curiously, and Lu Datou said like a chicken pecking rice: "Of course I do! Men can have three wives and four concubines here, and women have to stay together forever. I can get a lot of female fans by reciting poems. If there is no
It’s perfect to have a fat woman in the way, even your fiancée is a fan of mine!”
"You are still a fan..."
Zhao Guanren said contemptuously: "You copied dozens of people's poems, and people became suspicious. Don't you know how to change the place names? But what is going on between you and Sandi Ji? Are you collaborating to deceive me?"
"Wealth and honor are sought in danger, but I will be great if I am close to Goddess..."
Lu Datou threw away the cigarette butt and said: "I published the collection of poems two years ago. Emperor Renfu has been communicating with me anonymously. Last month, she suddenly sent people to Sioux City to find me, saying that someone had plagiarized my poems. I immediately
Hearing that it was Di Ji, he came here in a hurry, but he ended up finding you!"
"Ha~ This is called fate, right! What is your name now..."
"My name is Zheng Yijian, and the one that makes me bleed with one sword..."
"Why don't you call me Chen Haonan, hahaha..."
Zhao Guanren almost broke his belly with laughter, stood up and asked: "If it wasn't me who came today, are you going to refuse to admit it?"
"Of course!"
Lu Datou stood up and said: "People can still summon souls from the earth, but there is something wrong with your fiancée. She always says that she was a nun in her previous life, and she still has to abide by the rules and precepts in this life, but she always likes to fantasize about all kinds of love. She is a typical hypocritical bitch!
"
"I'm just going through the motions with her. If she likes to keep it, just keep it..."
Zhao Guanren pulled him over and whispered: "Do you know how many years are left until the year of Tianqi? Almost everyone in the hall knows Zhao Ziqiang, Hong Luan is his concubine, General Qilin and the emperor are both his great-great-grandsons, Daji belongs to Zhao Ziqiang's family
country!"
"I'll go! Don't bring anything so exciting..."
Lu Datou was shocked and said: "No wonder he always puts off that pretense and it doesn't work when he says it. He actually asked us to save his descendants. But I was so anxious at the time that I didn't ask any more questions, but the next day it was
Yongji, the emperor's grandson's ascension to the throne is the apocalypse, it must have taken decades!"
"Okay! Let's talk slowly later..."
Zhao Guanren didn't dare to tell him about the overthrow of the Daji Dynasty, otherwise he would be scared to death, so the two of them walked straight to the banquet hall. Unexpectedly, everyone stopped drinking and all ate the dishes and chatted quietly.
The two came in and looked up one after another.
"My little daughter-in-law! I really need to thank you very much for my husband..."
Zhao Guanren smiled and said: "Zheng Yijian and I are good friends who have lost contact for many years, and you found us unexpectedly. It must be said that it is a trick of fate, but our poem was originally an improvisation of one sentence by you and one sentence by me. Anyway, I didn't copy it.
That’s right!”
"Sir! Didn't you say you don't recognize him..."
Sandiji stood up angrily, her face looking quite ugly.
"yes!"
Lu Datou spread his hands and said: "In the past, he was not called Zhao Yunxuan. We all called him Zhao Guanren.
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Knowing that it is my brother here, how can I say that he copied my poems? The reason why my poems are so different in style is because of his pen and ink!"
"I knew it was a misunderstanding..."
Emperor Jiwu smiled and said: "Yunxuan! You and Qingqing are not acquainted with each other, and they both like to write and write. There will be common topics in the future. You two must get along well, and let me have a fat grandson as soon as possible!"
"Qingqing! Come and have a glass of wine with your husband, why don't you..."
The queen picked up the wine glass and walked up to Sandi Ji. Sandi Ji snorted lightly, took the wine glass, walked to Zhao Guanren, and said sorry angrily.
"I don't need your apology..."
Zhao Guanren said in a low voice: "You are pretentious and ignorant, I will treat you as a child. You can continue to abide by your rules and precepts after marriage. I promise not to touch you with a single hair. If you don't even want to go through the motions, either change someone else."
, or die!”
"you……"
The Third Emperor Ji stared at him in shock and anger. Zhao Guanren sneered and left, taking Lu Datou to his seat. He suddenly asked in surprise: "Where is Yongning? Why is the emperor's grandson also missing?"
“Yongning drank and vomited!”
The queen smiled bitterly and said: "That girl's drinking capacity is too light, and this red wine has a strong stamina. She won't be able to survive after drinking a glass of wine. The emperor's grandson will accompany them to the harem for a short rest. Don't worry, nothing will happen!"
"Little girl, do your best. Let's continue. Your Majesty, I'll give you a toast..."
Zhao Guanren picked up the wine glass and continued to drink. It was estimated that Yongning was suffering from morning sickness. She was pregnant for a month and it happened to be the period of morning sickness. However, as soon as everyone started to exchange fire again, a palace maid suddenly ran in rolling and crawling, and fell down at the door of the hall.
forward.
"Your Majesty! It's not good..."
The palace maid shouted with a pale face: "Your Majesty, the emperor's grandson was possessed by evil spirits. He showed his bestiality in the harem. He injured Princess Yongning and then raped her. She was so violent that the whole bed was covered with blood!"
"What?"
The people in the room all stood up with a "boom" sound. Zhao Guanren, who was shocked, ran out and rushed towards the harem like lightning.
"A useless thing..."
Emperor Jiwu smashed his wine glass angrily, pointed at the prince and cursed: "How do you discipline your son? He stares at her and drools from the moment he enters the door. His wife can't wait for several days. If there is something wrong with Yongning, you prince
Don’t do it either!”
"Why are you still scolding? Come over and take a look..."
Ye Jier ran out anxiously, and everyone no longer cared about the taboos in the harem. The men and women ran towards the harem together.
"Yongning! How are you..."
Zhao Guanren rushed into the bedroom first, only to see the emperor's grandson lying on the ground drunkenly and snoring, and he was actually naked.
Yongning was lying on the bed in a coma, covered with a quilt and didn't know what he was doing. The palace maid with a bruised nose and swollen face had obviously been beaten and was sitting by the bed wiping tears in pain.
"Are you a fucking dead person? You don't know how to scream..."
Zhao Guanren was so shocked and furious that he pushed the palace maid away. When he suddenly opened the quilt and took a look, his head almost exploded. Yongning had been stripped, leaving only a small bellyband, a bed and a buttocks of blood. Apparently,
Had a miscarriage.
"Yongning! Wake up quickly, don't scare me..."
Zhao Guanren patted Yongning anxiously, and Yongning was so drowsy that he could not lift his head. Just then Ye Jier and the Crown Princess ran in. When they saw the scene, they were both frightened. One hurriedly changed the clothes of the emperor's grandson, and the other hurriedly changed his clothes.
Yongning puts on a quilt.
"You're still fucking asleep, get up for me..."
Zhao Guanren rushed over and kicked the emperor's grandson. The princess quickly protected him and cried loudly. After the emperor's grandson screamed in pain, he turned over and said with a silly smile: "Yongning! You are mine this time, completely mine.
Yes, we can never be separated again!"
"Your Majesty! No..."
The Crown Princess suddenly rushed out, only to see Emperor Jiwu come in with a knife, while the Crown Prince stood at the door dumbfounded, his whole face turned pale...