220 Have Principles and Dare to Refuse, Only Then Can You Stay Away From Those Scumbags (2/2)
When the excuse was discovered, Yang Han didn't blush and said plausibly: "The truth is the same. What Dad means is that if you want to learn to say no, you must clearly draw this bottom line in your heart."
"However, I actually know my bottom line, but sometimes I still feel that I can't be too selfish. Like Pan Guanliang, he is a classmate in the class. I have only been here for more than a week. If I get into trouble with him now, I will
Won't it give people a feeling that it's hard to get along with them?" Yang Ruoyi said with some distress.
Originally, after she became a star, she was worried that she wouldn't get along with her classmates, and that her identity would make everyone distance themselves from her. She finally made everyone feel that she had no airs, so that everyone could treat her as an ordinary person.
My friend, if I do what my father says now, will the situation that worries me become a reality?
"So in addition to having principles and a bottom line, you must have a correct mentality before rejecting!" Although Yang Ruoyi was worried, her father's calm and confident attitude made her put down her anxiety and listen patiently.
Go down.
Yang Han no longer rambles on. He still needs to explain this issue to his daughter rigorously: "What is the correct mentality? The correct mentality is that you must understand that everyone is responsible for their own actions and emotions.
, instead of being responsible for other people’s actions and emotions!”
"Like you said, you will feel guilty when you reject others. This is an incorrect mentality."
"To give another example, if someone borrows money from you and you think he is unreliable, he may have borrowed money from gambling debts. Lending him money is equivalent to throwing money into a bottomless pit. So.
You didn't lend it to him, and then he got angry because he couldn't borrow the money. Do you think it's your fault, or do you think there is something wrong with this person and you should be glad that you recognized this person's nature earlier?"
The example given by her father was actually very clear. Yang Ruoyi understood it, and she answered naturally: "It's not my fault, it's this person's thinking that is wrong."
"Yes, the truth is actually the same. Let's take your example. This classmate Pan is just a weakened version of the person who borrowed money from Dad. If you don't want to give him a gift, but he gets angry and gets into trouble with you.
, do you still think it's your fault?" Yang Han said with a smile.
Yang Ruoyi hesitated for a moment, then shook her head, but when she hesitated to speak, her father spoke again.
"Dad, I know what you want to say, but you still have a lot of worries and are worried that other students will think so. That is also a wrong mentality, because you still want to pay for other people's mistakes, or you still want to give up yourself in order to please others.
"Principle." Yang Han said with a smile, "But you should think that others may not necessarily have such views. Everyone has their own ideas, and they will not change their views on you just because of a small gift.
, it’s not like I don’t want to play with you just because of Classmate Pan, Classmate Pan shouldn’t have such a big influence yet, right?”
"Of course, if you blindly please others and let others form the idea that you should bring gifts to everyone, then people may really get small benefits from you because of their habit. Once they are not satisfied, they will
Why do you think you have changed? But you live for yourself, not for others, right?"
Her father's words made Yang Ruoyi fall into deep thought. She had never thought about such a complicated interpersonal problem, so she could only think about it slowly.
After taking two mouthfuls of rice and reminding her daughter to eat vegetables, Yang Han continued and said slowly: "You always think about it. Only if you have the correct mentality as dad said, will you know how to speak clearly and firmly, but at the same time,
Be flexible and say no.”
"We have to adopt different response strategies for different situations."
"For example, the borrowing of money and confession just mentioned, if this kind of situation touches your principles, you must refuse it, and you must refuse it outright. You must not be sloppy and leave a little thought for others. You must understand that giving
Keeping hope in others is just causing trouble for yourself!"
"In the past few years, haven't there been many news about boys who have failed to express their feelings to each other, or who were not convinced after breaking up, and brutally killed girls?" Yang Han said to his daughter with a solemn expression, "Dad is not telling you this.
It’s the girls’ fault that this happens. But we must stay away from these people with defective characters!”
Of course Yang Ruoyi remembered it, because every time there was news like this, her father would ask her to watch it, which was particularly heart-wrenching. She couldn't believe in love several times.
“If you know how to say no, know how to stick to your bottom line, and know how to say no simply and neatly, you will be able to draw a clear line from people who are prone to extreme ideas!”
"When you meet someone who gets angry when they fail to borrow money, or who keeps stalking you when they fail to express their love, you don't need to consider their feelings at all, and there is no need to think about whether it will affect your friendship. You should be happy.
See clearly this person's character sooner, and be glad that you can no longer have such a friend! The less you leave hope for them, the farther away they will be from you!"
"We don't need many friends. As long as you are good enough, you don't have to worry about not having good people to be friends with you!"
Yang Ruoyi is in the rebellious stage of youth, but after going to "The Birth of a Girl Group", her rebellious energy has become much less intense, and after experiencing the cruelty of society, she also understands that her father only treats her wholeheartedly.
Intangible and selfless good!
Therefore, even though she knew that her father was reminding her not to fall in love prematurely in a roundabout way, she still did not become impatient and listened carefully.
"Of course, what you face in your daily study and work life with the Girl of the Wind may not always be such extreme situations. There may also be some situations that you need to reject, but you don't need to reject them so forcefully.
It's a trivial matter." Yang Han waited for her daughter to digest it before she slowed down and said with a smile.
"For example, Sister Xia just invited us to have dinner at her house, but we don't want to go?" Yang Ruoyi blinked her eyes and cleverly provided an example to her father.
"Yes!" Yang Han said with a smile, "In this case, there is no need to refuse so harshly. You can just use excuses to refuse."
"It's not about making up lies, you can be very sincere, like dad, just tell her directly, why I don't go to your house for dinner, it's because I have to go home early, and my daughter has to go to bed early, and she has to go to class tomorrow. This is all very important.
It's a normal reason, and it's a reason she can understand, so I can refuse easily without worrying about whether Sister Xia will think we look down on her, or whether Sister Xia will think we're not friends enough."
"No, you, Sister Xia, are not such a small-minded person. If you are, we don't need to make friends with such people, right?"
Yang Ruoyi nodded repeatedly. She felt that after listening to what her father said, her mind became clearer and clearer. She really worried too much before. Maybe if she let go of these worries and think more about herself, she would be able to handle things better.