Xue Huan leisurely broke the pomegranate seeds and said with a smile: "You don't need to guess, you will know.
You tell me, the family is harmonious and happy, the elderly are strong and healthy, the parents are loving and successful in their careers, the younger brothers and sisters are excellent in academics, start a business, and go to school.
You yourself are successful in studies and work, and you are considered the most dazzling newcomer among the younger generation in the hospital.
Apart from these, what else is there to worry about?
What else can it be but feelings?”
Cheng Huanran was stunned and smiled bitterly.
"There is something unsatisfactory about it! No wonder the old saying goes that every family has its own sutras that are difficult to recite.
In other words, everyone has troubles, they are all different."
Xue Huan laughed softly and said warmly: "Isn't it?
People, as long as they have desires, thoughts, and goals, they will definitely have troubles.
This should be the truth behind the saying that ‘everything in this world is miserable’.”
"Alas..." Cheng Huanran sighed: "Actually, I'm not greedy. I just want to find someone who has the same interests and hobbies, similar views, and is happy with each other. I just want to fall in love and get married, and live in love like my parents for the rest of my life.
"
Xue Huan laughed dumbly: "Isn't this greedy?
!”
Forehead?
Cheng Huanran smiled bitterly: "Uncle Huan, how can you not be greedy?
In other words, I just want to find someone I love, get married and live a happy life - not too demanding, right?
Here are the basic requirements!”
Xue Huan squinted his eyes and shook his head slightly.
"Not necessarily.
Based on what you said just now, as someone who has been in love and marriage for more than ten or twenty years, I think your goals are quite high and your requirements are also quite high."
Cheng Huanran couldn't help but wonder: "Really?"
"Of course!"
Xue Huan whispered: "It is not easy to be happy with each other and love each other.
In the vast sea of people, if you want to find someone who you like, and they also happen to like you, the chance is actually not high.
First of all, your starting point is relatively high. Looking at it from a broad perspective, it is a very high starting point.
At the height you are standing at, many people can only look up behind or below you.
Because your own cultural level and the foundation your parents gave you are too high, which is beyond the reach of ordinary people."
"Any more?"
Cheng Huanran raised his eyebrows and asked.
Xue Huan nodded: "It has to be about the same height and similar appearance, otherwise I'm afraid you won't like it.
In addition, it is not easy to find people who have the same so-called three views and similar views on family and career.
It’s difficult enough to have the same three views, let alone the others.”
Cheng Huanran was extremely sad and murmured: "...So, my demands are really too high?"
"Actually, for people my age, falling in love is actually very simple."
Xue Huan replied: "We have lost the control of youth hormones. I just hope that my other half can live a peaceful and warm life with me, without making noises and incest.
The so-called love, for people of our age, is just that simple.
The so-called 'great love' is nothing more than being able to understand and consider each other."
Cheng Huanran was slightly stunned.
Xue Huan said warmly: "I was also young, I also pursued vigorous love, and I even had the ambition and confidence to love until death.
But as I struggled with the reality of life and work, I discovered that love is actually only for a while, and it is more about living a long and lasting life.
People always say that young couples always keep company.
In fact, not only the old, but also the middle-aged and young people in these decades, what we need more is companionship. There are not so many so-called 'couples', not so many so-called 'vigorous' and 'emotional explosions'.
No matter how beautiful the love is, no matter how beautiful the skin is, no matter how rare the romance is, none of them can withstand the wear and tear of time.
Therefore, finding a partner to live with should be the goal of marriage, not what young people call the ultimate pursuit of love or the destination of love.
Marriage is a much bigger category than love. Don’t always think of love as everything in marriage. It’s too one-sided and too narrow.
Marriage is much more complicated and important than love."
Cheng Huanran seemed to understand and listened, and couldn't help but whisper: "Actually, I...I pursue love, and even more, marriage.
I also want to be like my parents, find a beloved person to start a family, have one or two lovely children, continue to reproduce my genes, and continue to pass on the love of the family."
Xue Huan smiled and explained: "In the final analysis, what you are pursuing is marriage.
You are a child who grew up in a traditional family, and your character and qualities ultimately belong to tradition."
"right."
Cheng Huanran nodded: "In the end, I still want a happy marriage."
Xue Huan smiled and said: "No matter how beautiful the love is, no matter how passionate the hormones are, they will eventually become dull.
Especially when you are in your forties or fifties, it becomes even more dull.
By the age of sixty, seventy, eighty or ten, it’s just about supporting each other and keeping each other company.
Love and marriage are not equated, not at all.
When I was studying abroad, I was in my prime, young and promising, so the person I pursued was beautiful, smart, had the same major as me, went to the same school, and had similar worldviews and values.
At that time, I decided that she was my future partner."
"and after?"
Cheng Huanran vaguely remembered that she was a very beautiful and proud foreign woman, but he was still a child at that time and could not remember clearly, so he asked: "Isn't she the aunt now?"
Xue Huan shook his head: "No, she is a foreigner.
When I confidently believed that the destination of love is marriage, I encountered a series of problems.
At the same time, I also discovered that her family view was so different from mine.
From that time on, she and I gradually drifted apart, and I also began to develop estrangement.
In fact, you and your significant other are the main body of your small family, just like the main framework of the family. If you and her have different views on family, it means that your framework cannot be stable.
With the addition of children and the elderly, more and more things are built on this framework, which will eventually lead to instability, vibration, or even collapse of the family."
"Family view?"
Cheng Huanran couldn't help but think of Qiao Hui's various family remarks.
——You can’t talk about any marriage before your career is completed! Without a solid career foundation, marriage is meaningless! ——Unless I get a professional title of associate professor or above, I will definitely not have children! Having children requires a lot of time and effort from you and me.
The energy is not worth it, just give birth to one child at most.
——The starting point given to you by your family is too high. I can only be better than you in other aspects. Otherwise, we will not be able to maintain a similar level of evenness in the family, and then the family will not be stable! ... ... Cheng Huanran frowned in discomfort, helpless
In a low voice: "Uncle, do the two subjects in a marriage really have to be almost evenly matched?
You and your aunt, my father and my mother don't seem to be like this."