When she returned to her residence, Wang Shulan did not go back to her room like she did yesterday.
The two of them lived together as warmly, harmoniously and naturally as they did in Beautiful Valley, as if a long separation was better than a newlywed.
After making love, the two of them didn't fall asleep immediately. Lao Tan lit up a cigarette and smoked, while Wang Shulan leaned her head on his shoulder and gently slid her hands on his stomach, enjoying the satisfaction after the passion was over.
"Old Tan, I really like being with you." Wang Shulan said.
"Aren't we together now?" Lao Tan said.
"We are together - we haven't been together for a year and a half, right?"
"Um------"
"Sometimes I miss you and think about you------you are such a troublesome and tormenting person------"
"Yeah?"
"Well, with you - how should I put it? To be honest, I like to treat you as a younger brother, and then use my identity as a sister to care and take care of you. But when I see you, I can't control myself and want to do things with you, just like this
Son’s.”
Lao Tan flicked the ash into the ashtray and said, "It's normal. I'm a boy and you're a girl."
Wang Shulan said: "Not anymore, mainly because I like ------" She raised her head and touched Lao Tan's bald head with her hand, and then said: "I am happy to be with you, I have support, haha, almost everything can be done
Don’t think about it.”
"I was born to worry about my life."
"Don't tell me it's true, sometimes I feel you are tired." Wang Shulan seemed to be interested, leaning up and sitting up with her back against the head of the bed.
Anyway, they were the only two in the room, and they were not afraid of being exposed. Their plump breasts were displayed in an emotional and ambiguous way.
She said: "If you were not so tired and worked so hard, you probably wouldn't get cancer."
Lao Tan squeezed the corner of his mouth and smiled and said: "Everything is destined, and this kind of disaster should happen.
Let me tell you, no one's life is smooth and smooth, there are always ups and downs, otherwise there will be no ups and downs, joys and sorrows, don't you think?"
"You just don't stop." Wang Shulan said.
"People cannot rest while they are alive. Apart from eating and drinking, we have to deal with it. After eating and drinking, we also need to put on clothes, hats, and buildings.
Let me tell you this, from the day I can remember, I have known that I eat differently from other people’s children, dress differently, and I can’t even play with them.
It seems that I am very strong, but in fact it is just an appearance. If you have experienced what I have experienced, you will know what it means to be looked down upon by others, and what it means to feel weak in your heart.
If a person cannot overcome the cowardice in his bones, he will remain like that for the rest of his life - being looked down upon and bullied by others.
My first resistance was not that I was being bullied, but that the people in the village looked down on my mother.
I was eight years old at the time, and I didn't know what fear was or what fear was. I was just angry, so angry that I rushed forward to fight with others like crazy.
Of course I can't beat someone. How can a child beat an adult? I was beaten until my nose was bruised and my face was swollen, but I didn't know it hurt. I just got up from the ground and rushed up to continue beating me until the person who beat me was scared.
After that, I understood a truth: as long as I don’t want my life, it’s others who will.”
"It seems that you loved fighting when you were a child." Wang Shulan said.
Lao Tan said: "It's not that I like to fight, but I have to fight. In the countryside, people can't live a good life, and they are always bullied. My mother is a housewife, an unemployed widow, and she takes care of six of our siblings. I am the only man in the family.
She is still the youngest, and to be honest, she is forced to do so.”
"It's not easy for you."
"Hey, what can I say? It's not easy for anyone. It just depends on how you live." Old Tan added another cigarette and continued: "It's not shameful to be poor, but it's shameful to have no dignity.
Growing up, I never felt lowly because of my family's poverty. On the contrary, I felt quite rich. I remember when I was in high school, I was all dressed in clothes. The upper body was a work clothes given by my classmate's father. They were gray and were strictly prohibited. Now I don't seem to have any.
Already.
The lower body is a pair of grass green trousers, which are fake military trousers, with patches on the buttocks. To make them stronger, my eldest sister used a sewing machine to twist them back and forth many times to resist wear.
On my feet were a pair of yellow rubber shoes, no socks, and barefoot.
In terms of clothes, I am the shabbiest in our class, I don’t look like a student, I look like a banker.”
"I can imagine what you were like at that time, a bit like my dad when I was a child. My dad worked in the steel rolling mill at that time. He wore gray overalls with pockets on the top and no pockets on the bottom. The cuffs were tight and buckled.
." Wang Shulan said.
"Yes, just like that."
"People dressed like that in the 1970s, and also in the 1980s, but by the 1990s it was almost gone."
"In our mining area, workers working in the mines wear them. My classmate's father works in the mines, a coal black man. His father gave him work clothes to wear. He seemed to be rude and gave them to me, so I took them as pawning treasures."
"It stands to reason that you guys should be pretty rich."
"You're talking about the industrial households in the coal mines. My family is an agricultural household, so that's not possible. Let me tell you, it's not okay for agricultural households in the mining areas. The land is mountainous and thin, and there is little land to grow crops. It's good to work for a year without going hungry.
There was little money and I was terribly worried.
Otherwise, I can't go out to work. I can't even get a wife at home. Who's daughter can fall in love with me? Even if she falls in love with me, my parents won't agree. My family is very poor," Lao Tan said.
Wang Shulan leaned closer to Lao Tan, and put her bare arms on Lao Tan's chest. The warm breasts conveyed tenderness. Lao Tan pulled the towel up, and she covered her two beautiful breasts knowingly.
superior.
"Have you ever had a blind date at home?" she asked curiously.
Lao Tan said: "We met each other, but it didn't work out, and then we stopped seeing each other."
"Didn't you go to Yaru's house? You had already made money by then, why haven't you made it yet?"
"Haha, I'm late, she's engaged------"
"Pity------"
"------"
"Yaru is really nice, a good wife and mother, and pretty."
"When did you learn to be jealous?"
Wang Shulan said leisurely: "Women love to be jealous, especially in our relationship. I'm not so generous as to not care about anything."
Lao Tan said nothing.
"But I'm not jealous. You two have known each other longer than me." Wang Shulan said.
Lao Tan pressed his cigarette butt into the ashtray and turned around and said: "Acquaintances come first, and relationships come first and last. Life comes sooner or later, and time passes in a blink of an eye. The best state of a living person is not to be entangled, to let go of unnecessary things, and to relax.
Bright and open.
The Diamond Sutra says that all appearances are false, and once you understand this, everything will be easier."
"It's hard to understand, people have desires."
"Desire blinds people from seeing the mountains. The bottom line is that there are no major twists and turns and the experience of life and death. Once a person has experienced life and death, he will naturally understand a lot and be able to distinguish between external affairs and internal affairs.
Everything external to you is just an appearance. Nothing is yours, and you cannot own it forever. Just like the floating clouds in the sky, there is no wind when it comes and there is no rain when it goes. It is best to leave no trace.
The internal affairs of the body are self-cultivation. To put it bluntly, it is cultivation of the mind.
We are all mortals and it is impossible for us to have no desires and desires. It is best to keep our hearts open.
As Lao Tzu said, get rid of selfish desires and seek for others, and less for yourself. Although you cannot be completely selfless and altruistic, you can just seek peace of mind."