"I have been attending a private boarding school since elementary school. The school is actually quite good. The teachers and principal are very good. They know my family and they take good care of me."
Xia Fanxing said, "The problem is, I feel depressed as soon as Sunday afternoon and Monday morning come. I don't want to go to school, so my father and mother just put me in the car and push me to school. I didn't cry no matter how hard I sat in the car.
Yes, there were a few times when I cried so much that my dad even picked up a ruler, made me kneel in the study room, and whipped me hard. After that, I went to school for several days and couldn’t even hold my chopsticks steady while eating. This kind of memory
It’s so profound.”
He compared the length of the ruler with his hand, it was about one meter.
"It was the same when I was in middle school. After school every Friday afternoon, the students around me were very happy and looked forward to returning home. I also looked forward to it, but every time I came home, I was disappointed. I happily told my parents that I was back.
, they were very cold, making me think that I was not going home, but that I was here to collect debt..."
"And my dad, when he sees me, he either looks cold to me, or asks me about my homework, and criticizes me, saying that I can't do well here or there!" Xia Fanxing took a deep breath, "Teacher Ning, you know that kind of thing?"
Do you feel it?”
His face was full of disgust.
"wipe!"
"I'm really sick, why did I come back?!"
"I shouldn't have come back."
"When I was in high school, my grades were not ideal. My dad said I needed a lesson..." Xia Fanxing gritted his teeth and said, "He sent me to the military academy. It was completely closed. The instructors were very strict. There were no mobile phones, no
There were no computers and no entertainment. I was either studying or training every day. In the first semester, I worked with other classmates to find a way to escape by jumping over a wall. After escaping, I got home and my dad scolded me and beat me.
He slapped me and sent me back again. Later, when I returned to school, the instructor looked at me like a prisoner. I couldn't escape at all, and I didn't want to escape. Later, I became numb."
Xia Fanxing's eyes turned red.
The expression on his face was one of strong sarcasm and self-deprecation, as well as deep hatred.
"I feel that even if I die there, they will think I deserve it."
"I don't know where I owe a lesson. Did I kill someone or set a fire?"
"What the hell do I owe them and they want to do this to me?!"
"After one year in high school and a year in the military academy, I came out..."
"Teacher Ning, do you know why I came out?"
"Why?" Ning Youguang asked softly.
"There are two reasons." Xia Fanxing said, "The first reason is that I want to go to school well and take the college entrance examination. The second reason is that the teachers at the military school said that I have mental illness."
"Mental illness?" Ning Youguang was puzzled.
"Yes, it's ridiculous, isn't it?" Xia Fanxing sneered, "What's even more ridiculous is that after I came out of school, my dad really sent me to a mental hospital and prescribed me a bunch of medicines, such as antipsychotics.
Schizophrenia pills, antidepressant pills, a whole bunch of shit.”
"Have you eaten?" Ning Youguang didn't want to think that Xia Fanxing's question was a new one today.
"Eat, why don't you eat?" Xia Fanxing said, "They all say I'm sick, so I'll just eat."
"Are there any sequelae?" Ning Youguang felt a chill running down his spine.
"Yes." Xia Fanxing crossed his arms across his chest, in a state of self-protection. "I used to be very smart. Although my dad always said that I was not good, I felt that my grades were pretty good. I often ranked first in the class and studied.
I can remember everything very quickly, but since I took medication to treat mental illness, my brain has become hard to use and I can’t remember anything. When I went back to high school, I often came in the bottom of the exam.”
A sense of pleasure after revenge appeared on Xia Fanxing's face, "Do you think it's funny or not? Hahaha..."
"My dad asked me why I had become stupid, so I said, I need to take medicine."
He took me to the hospital for examination, and the doctor said, "Taking these medicines will indeed slow down the brain's reaction speed."
"Teacher Ning, do you know how ugly my dad looked at that time?"
He burst into tears and laughed for a long time, "He wished he could blow up that hospital."
"It's so funny." He held his stomach, "Teacher Ning, please let me laugh for a while."
Ning Youguang nodded, looked at him quietly and smiled.
Laughing and laughing, Xia Fanxing began to cry, and the facial features on his face were a little distorted, "I have never seen my dad so out of control in my life. When he got home, he threw away all my medicines, and there was no trace of him after that."
Let me keep eating those."
"I returned to high school and continued my studies. Because my memory was not good and my brain was really hard to use, I didn't pass the college entrance examination for my bachelor's degree."
I was allowed to have a son who couldn't even pass the college entrance examination. After the college entrance examination, he packed me up and sent me to the UK."
“Although I didn’t know anyone in the UK at first, I later made friends of my own and was able to do some of the things I like to do, such as riding horses, traveling, playing games, doing crafts, etc. I feel like I’m living a good life.
It's okay. We're far away and my dad doesn't care about me much anymore, or he has given up on me, so I'm relatively free." Xia Fanxing said, "By the way, I still follow my classmates.
Working part-time, although I didn’t make much, I was very happy. I was tired and slept well. I had a really good college life. It was also in college that I discovered that I didn’t necessarily have to live a good life.
Compared with these, being able to make my own decisions and decide my own life makes me happier."
"and after?"
Xia Fanxing closed his eyes, "Then one day, I suddenly received a call from my family. My parents had a car accident and were being rescued in the hospital. They asked me to go home immediately. Later, my parents didn't even come to the rescue.
, they all passed away, and I received a large inheritance."
"How did you feel at that time?" Ning Youguang asked softly.
"Not so much." Xia Fanxing shook his head, "People around me said that I suddenly became rich and must be very happy."
"In fact, I am not happy at all. I feel...I am not worthy of what they left me at all."
"When I come home every day, even if there are many workers, housekeepers, drivers, gardeners and so on at home, I still feel very lonely, very lonely. I don't even dare to step into my parents' room." He burst into tears, "But
I only have myself left, and I will continue to live."
"I also tried to invite friends to my home, to attend banquets, and even to work in the company, but I still felt more lonely and guilty."
Tears fell from Xia Fanxing's eyes like broken beads.
He was in a very sad state.
Ning Youguang looked at him silently, but there was a faint smile in his eyes.1314