"There is really a problem with our communication?"
, and they say I’m stubborn, please figure it out, please? Who is stubborn?!”
"There may be differences in ideas between generations."
"It's not just this." The expression on Xia Qi's face became a little hurt, "I think my mother-in-law often opposes me just to oppose me. She doesn't like me."
"As for the mother-in-law not liking the daughter-in-law, many mothers-in-law don't like child's play." Ning Youguang was silent for a while and said, "When I was watching TV before, a host said that the mother-in-law has no obligation to like the daughter-in-law.
"The mother-in-law likes the daughter-in-law. It should be the daughter-in-law's ability, not the mother-in-law's obligation. After all, she has never given birth to you, and you are not a piece of meat that fell off her body." I think what he said is meaningful.
It makes sense. However, you should not doubt yourself. If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well, if they don't get along, then play your role well and learn to keep distance from each other.' There is no one between people.
You have to like someone, especially from the perspective of the mother-in-law. She was originally the person closest to her son, but then her daughter-in-law showed up and snatched her son away. Many mother-in-laws cannot change their mentality and will not like their daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law continues to toss and toss her,
Such an older son, she dislikes her daughter-in-law even more. So it is enough for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to keep a distance, respect each other, and live in harmony. Don’t think that she can treat you the same as she treats her son. This is impossible, mother and daughter
We need to keep a proper distance when getting along with each other, and for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should not have too high expectations."
"Then sometimes, her excessive intervention really hinders our family's normal life. What should we do?" Xia Qi.
"Make good use of your husband." Ning Youguang said, "If your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, will she listen to your husband?"
"It sounds pretty good."
"Then don't worry about it." Ning Youguang said, "Silly girls confront their mother-in-law head-on. Smart girls usually hide behind their husbands and make arrangements, you know?"
The silly girl Xia Qi scratched her head in sorrow.
She is straight-tempered and is used to saying whatever she wants, so she always ends up getting very angry and at a disadvantage.
"How do you make arrangements behind your husband's back?"
"Don't bring up any problems you have with your mother-in-law directly. Instead, talk to your husband later and talk about the areas you think need to be adjusted. After talking, let your husband talk to his mother." Ning Youguang said, "Since
If your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, then don't tell her. Find someone she is willing to listen to and tell her."
"I'll try." Xia Qi thought Ning Youguang's suggestion was good.
Although she had decided to implement the advice given by Ning Youguang, Xia Qi still couldn't help but worry, "What if there is still no way to resolve the conflict between my mother-in-law and I and she still wants to interfere in the children's affairs?"
Ning Youguang thought about it and felt that he still had to solve Xia Qi's problem from a fundamental perspective, "Then you need to stand on the same page no matter who you are with at home, hello, me, everyone.
Think about the problem from a different perspective.”
"What about?" Xia Qi asked seriously.
"For example, do you think the baby is your child now, right? So whenever your mother-in-law arranges some complementary foods that you think are inappropriate for the child, or uses some inappropriate parenting methods to raise your child, then you will not Approval, generating emotions, and then having a conflict with her, right?" Ning Youguang gave Xia Qi a detailed explanation.
"right."
"During this process, your disapproval of everything your mother-in-law did comes from the fact that she did it to your child. Remember, it's your child." Ning Youguang analyzed it word by word. Xia Qi crushed it into pieces, broke it apart and said, "If your mother-in-law treated other people's children in the same way, would you think there was a problem? Would you be angry?"
Xia Qi was stunned for a moment, "I won't be angry, and I probably won't even care."
"The core of the problem is here." Ning Youguang said, "Any conflict between you and your mother-in-law is because you have 'my' child for your son. Because it is 'my' child, so What she did was wrong, inappropriate, and bad. All your judgments on her are to protect 'my' children. If you remove the word 'I', your mother-in-law will use her If you raise a child in a way that is just a child, not your child, and you don’t know whose child it is, you won’t think there is anything wrong with anything she does. When you think there is nothing wrong with everything she does, you should talk to her. All the contradictions and conflicts between you will be gone, and you will naturally get along harmoniously, and you will also like each other, right? In the same way, you can also change things like this when it comes to your husband. Think about it."
After Xia Qi listened carefully, she felt that what Ning Youguang said was right, but also seemed wrong.
"This question shouldn't be thought of like this. My son is my son, and my husband is my husband. This is a fact that cannot be changed. As long as my son is still my son, my husband is still my husband." "If my mother-in-law doesn't change her way of doing things, she will never be able to be harmonious between us."
Ning Youguang could understand that Xia Qi didn't understand what she said, so he could only continue, "Okay, let me tell you now, your child is not your child, he just came to this world through you to experience his life. It's not yours. If you don't recognize this, then, no matter before or in the future, whenever you encounter any problem related to your child, you will stand from the perspective of "I". Then you will only educate your child from your perspective. Think about it from a perspective, right?”
"Yes." Xia Qi nodded.
"So, whether it is the issue of raising a baby now or educating the baby in the future, as long as you choose to think about everything related to him from your perspective, then your thinking will be limited to your own perspective, but you want to Think about it, if this child is not yours, but it belongs to your family? What will you do? You will raise and teach him from the perspective of the family, right? In this case, in terms of some parenting methods for children, you will You will take into account the thoughts of everyone in the family, and think about discussing with them a plan that the whole family thinks is right, right? Instead of doing what you think is good or how good it is, you just do it, and in the end you don’t do as well. If other members of the family have your own ideas, you will have conflicts with them."
Ning Youguang saw Xia Qi's expression calm down and continued to talk to her, 1314