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【Current node:20150423.19.03】
woke up.
Notice the translucent text box that gradually disappears before your eyes.
Just feel weird.
Why can't you die?
It’s just that after reading it, I thought it was meaningless. But now, I have been playing with my own existence and said, “I admire you.” Let me tell you, you can choose to save and load files once.
Then what?
What has been changed?
No, You Ye still doesn’t need to come back.
Xia Xianyue is still dead.
The only thing that has changed is that I now have the strength to truly do what I want and be able to recover from whatever happens.
However, what you want to recover cannot be recovered.
What?
Do you think that now that you are like an ordinary person, you are lucky enough to be rescued after committing suicide and start to cherish life and love life?
Is this...what kind of joke are you kidding?
Enough is enough.
fed up.
fed up.
Really...I've had enough!
How can someone who died long ago still be alive now?
Why should we go through this?
How pitiful, ridiculously humble a possibility, a possibility that does not exist at all, is it to use a corpse that you already knew to be dead to deceive yourself into being safe? How sad is that?
Fuck you.
I have truly decided that I don’t want to stay in this kind of world anymore, and I won’t be shaken if I do it again. Let’s just treat it as a ‘love game’ and play with myself happily.
After this, no matter who you are, you can play tricks on any unlucky guy you like, but please don't want me to continue performing.
"Puff——"
Hold the utility knife tightly again and forcefully insert it into the heart.
【You are dead】
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【Current node:20150423.19.03】
What's the meaning?
What's the meaning?
What does it mean?
"Puff——"
【You are dead】
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【Current node:20150423.19.03】
There are no wounds.
No pain.
“···”
The wind carrying earthy moisture blew past his cheeks, and Su Yao stared blankly at the dark night.
Understood.
loopholes.
It’s another loophole. And it’s a loophole that the ‘Love Game’ doesn’t want to fix or is not even aware of. It’s ridiculous and funny.
It happened that a loophole appeared at this time.
Or is it just a 'love game' that simply doesn't give you the right to quit?
What's going on?
But no matter what, I can't die.
He had obviously seen the senior whom he had not dreamed about for a long time, and said softly, "No need to worry about those things anymore."
waving to myself.
Whether it's hell or heaven, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
But I can't get through it.
I can only wander in this world that I have decided not to stay in anymore.
How can I exit the stage?
Do you mean that you will continue to fake your body like this even after you die?
don't know.
But I don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s enough to understand that you are prohibited from quitting the ‘love game’.
"Crack."
Su Yao lit a cigarette and stopped on the hillside for a long time.
I wanted to wait until 'Love Game' finally noticed its mistake. But I couldn't wait for a long time.
If I keep dying like this, will I finally die?
I have also considered this.
But ultimately, do you really want to die that much?
Or is this just an escape after being helpless? The decision to die with Xia Xianyue was also so serious, but in the end, he changed his mind after a phone call.
Letting her puppet continue to live means that she also has a trace of regret for the puppet that she shouldn't have. Otherwise, how could she push the puppet and talk so much about it.
Backed off for now.
Unexpected expectations came back again.
Su Yao returned home and turned on the light. The snow-white light illuminated the interior of the house. The refrigerator, coffee table, sofa...
No one else is there.
The balcony was still ajar, but there were no footprints.
The dried fish prepared in the refrigerator is probably no longer edible after a month. The bedroom is also empty, only Youye's clothes are still hanging in the closet.
What exactly are you looking forward to?
Ask yourself, you know the answer. But you feel self-loathing for the answer.
My head feels dizzy, maybe because I smoked too much on the hillside.
"Pah——"
Throw the utility knife on the coffee table.
The knife was brand new and obviously stained with a lot of blood, but now it was lying there indifferently.
Meaningless.
I don't want to enter the bedroom.
Su Yao didn't take a shower or change clothes, she just lay on the sofa and curled up to sleep.
The next day, everything was as before.
All the same things remained unchanged. No one discovered that Su Yao had attempted suicide last night, and everything was as usual.
Every day, day after day.
The only thing that changed was that Su Yao never attempted suicide again.
I started to get together with Mo Zhengyi, Lin Xiaowan and others occasionally and talk about some interesting daily things.
People no longer always look reluctant. They are not doing it for anyone to see. They just don’t want to show others a gloomy look anymore.
After more than half of my sophomore year, I actually received two confessions of love. Although the other person was not as beautiful as Xia Xianyue, her appearance and figure were by no means bad.
All refused.
Where is that kind of time?
Before the end of his sophomore year, Su Yao had already started trying to work part-time in a magazine. Because his previous job was somewhat related to this and he was quite comfortable doing it, so the seniors would always give Su Yao various tasks that he was happy to do.
Chores.
That day was probably a rare day when there was no work to do and no required elective courses.
Maybe he was drunk.
"I said..."
"Su Yao, I heard that a girl confessed her love to you and you rejected her."
“···”
He must be drunk, otherwise how could Xia Liangzhen say such a thing and the atmosphere changed instantly.
"Actually, you don't owe our family anything at all."
"I'm really grateful that you can always take care of Xiaoyue like this."
"You don't owe us, only we owe you."
"Gu..."
"It shouldn't be, it doesn't make sense, you have to do this."
“···”
"If you fall in love with another girl, I won't say anything. On the contrary, I will give you my blessing."
"You deserve and have the right to live a better life."
"You're drunk."
"What's wrong with being drunk... Bang!"
She drunkenly pounded the table, "To be honest, I really treat you as half a child. Whether it's guilt or whether you've never left me this year, I see it all. Who can say that?
You can't live a better life?"
"I know, you have been numbing yourself with work recently, right?"
"Sooner or later, your health will break down. There's no need..."
"Listen to me, Xiaoyue. The doctor said... there is no chance of waking up~"
“···”
"You'd better stop drinking. I'll take you back."
“···”
I don't know what she was talking about, but Su Yao didn't listen carefully.
She got something fundamentally wrong.
Speaking of pain, it was indeed quite painful. But compared to that time, it has become much lighter now.
If the premise is that from the beginning, I didn't believe in the hope that the corpse would have like them, and it was just a pretense, so why not leave. But I gave up from the beginning.
I just thought, ah, maybe I will see you later. I used other things as my hope, so that I could sustain myself and survive numbly in this world.
Just kidding.
It's just that I look forward to seeing a different scene when I go home.
When I got to the hospital, I was wondering if a miracle would happen.
Going back and forth like this, being constantly disappointed, constantly forcibly injecting hope into yourself. Try to reduce all your free time as much as possible, work hard, regardless of the reward, then it won't be a big deal.
After all, does this really mean anything?
Not daring to think about it anymore, Su Yao found a driver to take him and Xia Liangzhen downstairs, and then helped her home to lie down.
After that, Su Yao went straight to the hospital.
"You go back, let me come here."
I saw Lin Xiaowan staying there. She seemed to have no class today.
"You come here every day when you're in school, and you come here every day when you're off school and you're working. Is your health really okay?"
"What's the problem? There are caregivers here, so you don't have to do much. It's okay to just sleep on the side if you feel sleepy."
"You are really..."
It could be seen that Lin Xiaowan still had something to say, but in the end she just waved her hand and said, "Then I'll go back first."
"Um."
After watching her leave, the only person left was the nurse aunt who came in with a basin and carefully wiped Xia Xianyue's body with a towel.
"I'll do this."
Seeing that she was about to carry the bedpan into the toilet again, Su Yao went to get it.
I don't feel disgusted, this is something Xia Xianyue has done for herself before.
After finishing some trivial matters, Su Yao asked the nurse aunt to rest aside first, and then he watched.
Speaking of which, the price for the nurse is relatively high, so the aunt is very dedicated. The nurse's evaluation is also very good.
But I always feel that a person doesn't even have basic self-care abilities, or even consciousness, and everything must be done by wasting another person's life. Isn't it too pitiful?
I just stared at her cheeks. Because she had been lying in bed for a long time, she could no longer be as round as before. She finally lost a lot of weight, and her face turned white, giving her the feeling of a sickly beautiful girl.
Her slender black hair is now cut short for convenience. If she gets up and looks in the mirror, she might be anxious to shout, 'How could this be possible!'
It would be interesting to think about that.
I have to go back today. Do you want a different situation at home?
Staring at her, Su Yao smiled.
Forget it, I will stay here today. Because I am already sleepy, and because I know that no matter where I am, the situation will not be any different. I am just deceiving myself. I am the one who lied, so how could I have any boring hopes.
"Good night."
Just whisper, then lie down on the edge and close your eyes.
···
She should have been woken up by Xia Liangzhen. She would definitely come to the hospital for a visit every morning. But no.
“···”
Someone stroked his hair with his hand and clearly felt it in his consciousness.
Very gentle action.
"···Ah Yao."
“···”
Su Yao woke up in an instant, raised his head, and saw a pair of eyes shining with tears staring at him in the dimly lit ward.