That's for sure, Luo Yu nodded, that girl's eyes must have been hooked by cow dung.
"Once I was chatting with some classmates in the woods outside the classroom. They didn't know why they said bad things about me, so I beat them up and my nose bleeds..."
Hearing this, Luo Yu burst into tears. She really wanted to shake Yang Hao's hand. Someone more shameless than me finally appeared.
You kid was bullied and beaten until your nose bleeds, but you still have the nerve to confuse right and wrong. Others tell the truth after drinking. The more you drink, the thicker your skin becomes.
"Keep talking, keep talking." Seeing Yang Hao burping, Luo Yu hurriedly urged him to get back to the topic.
"At that time, I was so arrogant, carrying my fists as big as sandbags, stretching my neck, and walking out of the woods with my head shrunken..."
Luo Yu resisted the urge to beat him up, clenched her fists loudly and gritted her teeth: "To get to the point -"
Seeing Luo Yu's angry eyes, Yang Hao was startled. After drinking it, cold sweat immediately rolled down his forehead, and the cowhide didn't dare to blow: "I wiped the nosebleed and walked out, lowering my head.
Worrying about pretending to be a girl - it's so soft, I thought at that time."
"Well, it shouldn't hurt if someone hits you with cotton." Luo Yu looked serious.
"No, uncle, I bumped into Sisi." Yang Hao glanced around furtively and gestured with his hand, "Sisi only wore a tight T-shirt that day, and her outline was clearly visible.
It’s clear, Sisi’s one is big.”
Luo Yu suppressed the surging animal blood and said calmly: "Huh? How big is it?"
"So big." Yang Hao made a gesture with his hands, "The neckline of her T-shirt was very low that day, and I could clearly see the groove."
"I'm asking you how old you are, you brat!" Luo Yu was furious and slapped the table hard, causing the plates to bounce around.
Seeing the people around him looking at him with strange eyes, Luo Yu realized that he was too involved and hurriedly said hello: "Sourui Sourui, I am teaching my nephew the principles of life."
Yang Hao didn't know if he was frightened by Luo Yu, so he lowered his head and remained silent.
The most critical part of the question suddenly got stuck. Luo Yu pushed Yang Hao a few times: "Hey, kid, are you okay? Nowadays, medical technology is very advanced. Infertility, impotence, and premature ejaculation can all be cured. You
If you can't think about it anymore and want to commit suicide, go home and find scissors."
After a while, Yang Hao suddenly started sobbing, his voice unclear: "But Sisi, she said she doesn't want to pay attention to me now."
Luo Yu asked Yang Hao to tell the whole story, and he suddenly realized.
It turns out that this kid is a wooden fish head. Girls have hinted to him over and over again that he just doesn't understand. Yu Sisi invited Yang Hao to attend her birthday celebration, but this kid didn't dress up and just went there like a goose.
What's even more outrageous is that as a man who was being chased, he actually didn't express his feelings for other girls, and Yu Sisi said to ignore him this time. According to Luo Yu's analysis, it was she who wanted Yang Hao to take the initiative to speak.
One way is to stimulate this kind of wood bump.
But she never thought about Yang Hao's situation. This stupid boy usually had a very low self-esteem. Now that he was so stimulated by her, he would have really gone to see Marx if he hadn't met Luo Yu.
After hearing what he said, Luo Yu immediately started talking again: "Nephew, what are you afraid of? With your uncle here, no woman can handle it."
Seeing his confident look, a glimmer of hope flashed in his eyes, but then it dimmed again: "Uncle, please don't lie to me -"
I lied to you. Did I snatch any of my horses by force? Luo Yu jumped on her feet when she saw that she was actually looked down upon by the wooden head.
"Why did I lie to you?" Luo Yu cleared his throat, "To tell you the truth, your uncle, I am the legendary love saint who seduces the hearts of thousands of girls."
Luo Yu shook her finger: "Do you know what the wise words of a lover like me are?"
Seeing his enigmatic look, Yang Hao shook his head.
"You can steal anything in the world, but you can't steal a woman's heart." Luo Yu said softly with lowered eyebrows.
"Why?" Yang Hao asked hurriedly.
"My heart is broken, how can I change it back?"
These words struck a lightning bolt in Yang Hao's head and tore away the dark curtain. He suddenly stood up excitedly: "Yes, uncle, what you said is really right. I, I was moved to tears when I heard it."
Sisi. She told me before that I stole something from her. At that time, I was so stupid that I quickly explained that I definitely didn’t steal it. Sisi, if you frame me, we will go to the police station. As a result, Sisi kept saying:
God ignored me, so that’s what she meant.”
"You know shit." Luo Yu was angry and funny, and pushed Yang Hao back to his seat, "This sentence can only be understood by a love saint like me who is in a high position. Don't pretend to understand."
.”
"Uncle, please tell me what to do." Yang Hao asked eagerly. He was sober and could speak fluently.
"Well." Luo Yu shook her thighs and drank another glass of wine, her eyes full of smiles, "If you promise me something, I will tell you my secret method of picking up girls, and I guarantee that your Yu Sisi will be able to pick up girls from now on.
I am completely devoted to you, and you can do whatever you want."
"What's the matter?" The young man was so excited that he almost blurted out, "I agree to whatever you say." However, Yang Hao obviously stopped at the last moment and said cautiously, "Uncle, my parents will need me to support them when they get old. Killing people."
I won't do anything about setting fires."
Luo Yu finally rewarded him with a stir-fried chestnut on his head, which made Yang Hao grimace in pain.
"The tree wants to be quiet but the wind is not stopping, the child wants to support but the relatives are not there, do you think I don't understand this truth?" Luo Yu hummed and sat down again and downed a whole bottle of beer, letting out a satisfied gasp, "
Who do you think your uncle is? Besides, you are so small that you can commit robbery? You are lucky enough not to be raped by the horny aunt who robbed you, but you are still thinking about robbing others."
"Then what do you want me to do?" Yang Hao covered his head and clearly felt a swelling on his head, which hurt even to the touch.
"I don't ask you to do anything, I just say it." Luo Yu sucked the fish's brains clean with a splash, chewing the fish bones all over the floor, "You are in the third year of high school, right?"
Yang Hao nodded.
"Is there any parent mobilization meeting for senior high school students in your school?"
Yang Hao nodded again, suddenly seemed to realize something, and said in surprise: "Uncle, why are you going to the parents' meeting? Our teacher is not pretty. If you have a crush on a female classmate, I can help you get her mobile phone number. You don't have it?"
You have to go to school."
Of course Yang Hao is worried. This uncle seems to be a master who never suffers losses. If he enters the school and has friction with those thorns in the school, it would be okay to beat others up, but if those people will all their grievances by then.
It would be very bad if it happened to me, so I had to stop my uncle's crazy idea no matter what.
Luo Yu heard this in confusion and interrupted him: "I, um, I have a friend whose daughter is in the third year of high school. I care about it."
Official Luo didn't even blink when telling lies, and his expression was extremely calm. Yang Hao, with his little experience, naturally couldn't see the cunning light shining in Luo Yu's eyes.
"Oh." Yang Hao breathed a sigh of relief, "This is nothing. The content of the parent-teacher conferences for senior high school students in every school is actually the same. It's okay to tell you, but uncle, you have to tell me first how to make Sisi change her mind."
Yang Hao lowered his head and felt very frustrated: "Since Wang Yu and the others threatened me last time, I have not dared to go to Sisi again. In fact, I still miss her quite a lot."
By the time he finished speaking, his face was as red as a cooked lobster.