"No, I don't mean considerateness and pressure in this regard," Xu Minghui said to me with a look of helplessness. Then he looked at me, his expression seemed to be very difficult, "Haichao, you see you are such a hasty person."
I don’t have a good temper, so I usually don’t dare to say something to you directly, for fear that you might set things off, and then nothing can be solved, and all that’s left is quarrels.”
Since Xu Minghui said this, I had to suppress my anger for the time being, lest he say that I didn't give him a chance to explain. I wanted to hear what he meant by considerateness and pressure.
I waved to Xu Minghui and said to him as calmly as possible: "Okay, just go ahead and say it. Don't worry, I'm not in a hurry this time. You speak slowly and tell me truthfully what's on your mind."
In order to appear relaxed, I picked up the cup next to me and took a sip of water, so as not to put too much psychological pressure on Xu Minghui.
Sure enough, seeing my expression gradually relaxing, Xu Minghui opened the conversation again and started talking.
"Haichao, I know you are a good woman. You are hard-working and frugal. You are a good hand both at home and outside. You take good care of me and my daughter, and we live a prosperous life. However, sometimes,
The relationship between husband and wife is not only reflected in these material aspects, but also has some spiritual exchanges."
"You mean there is less spiritual communication between us?" I asked Xu Minghui as calmly as possible.
He looked at me and nodded affirmatively.
"Then tell me specifically, which aspect you are referring to." I whispered to Xu Minghui.
He nodded again, and then said slowly and thoughtfully: "It was okay in the first few years of marriage, but as the years of our marriage increase, especially after you have Tiao Tiao, you become more and more comfortable talking and dressing up at home.
I have become more and more casual, doing everything in a hurry and fussing, and I no longer have the shyness and reservedness I had when I first got married, which makes me quite disappointed."
I admit that what Xu Minghui said is true. Ever since I gave birth to Tiao Tiao, especially after I took Tiao Tiao to school, my words and deeds have indeed changed a lot from when I first got married. There is nothing I can do about it.
When I opened my eyes, I was like a spinning top. I quickly got up to wash up, cook, dress the child, urge her to wash her face and brush her teeth, and then send her to kindergarten. After sending the child to kindergarten, I went to work again.
.
After a busy day at the company, I rode a small bicycle non-stop to the kindergarten to pick up the children when I got off work. Because Xu Minghui was quite busy at work in those years, I usually picked up the children. After picking up the children
I also want to go home and cook for them.
After dinner, I wiped the table, washed the dishes, mopped the floor, and then urged my daughter to wash up and brush her teeth. After cleaning her up, I went to my daughter's room and hugged her and told her stories for a while until I coaxed her to fall asleep.
After the children fall asleep, I have to check if there are any dirty clothes that they and I have changed that day. After finishing these things, I can take a shower and brush my teeth, and then drag my exhausted body back to the bedroom. At this time every day
Only then did Xu Minghui and I have some space to spend time together alone.
The next day repeats itself, another day like this, busy and trivial. After the child enters the upper grade of elementary school, although I don’t need to take her to and from school, because Tiaotiao is not a very obedient child, I spend so much energy on her at this time
Even more, supervise her to do her homework and standardize her daily behavior. No one should be taken lightly and no one should be taken lightly.
As busy as I am, it is true that I have nothing to do with gentleness and subtlety, but I think most women who have experienced this kind of time can understand the hardships in my heart. Who doesn’t want to sit at home and be a rich wife in a pampered way? What woman doesn’t want to live forever?
Are they all as gentle, sweet and reserved as young girls? But the problem is that I also have to have such conditions! An ordinary working-class married woman has to take care of her family, husband and children, and is busy with her own work. Where can she find that job?
What can you do with excess energy to be gentle and reserved?
This is the true meaning of having more than enough energy but not enough energy, and being unable to do anything else!
However, even though I was full of grievances and anger, I didn’t say a word to Xu Minghui at this moment. I waved my hand to him calmly and said to him: "You continue to talk."
As if being encouraged, Xu Minghui continued: "After you have children, your voice becomes louder and your temper becomes more and more irritable, especially when educating children. In fact, some words can be said slowly! Treat it.
The child must be patient and persuade and educate, rather than scolding her at every turn.”
Listening to Xu Minghui say this, I just found it funny. What does it mean to stand and talk without back pain? It was Xu Minghui he was talking about. I watched him blurt out: "How many times have you taken care of your daughter?"
After hearing my rebuttal, Xu Minghui quickly waved his hand and explained to me: "I know that I am not a qualified father. Because I am usually busy with work, the number of times I take care of my child is much less than the number of times you take care of her, so I am just talking about this issue on a matter-of-fact basis.
The purpose of saying it is to persuade you to change it if you have it, and to encourage you if it doesn't."
I sneered, and I thought to myself, if your daughter has a willful and arrogant temper spoiled by her grandparents and does not pay equal attention to kindness and power, will she be able to listen to it?
But these are not the focus at the moment, because we are talking about the relationship between our husband and wife, so I waved my hand to Xu Minghui a little impatiently and said: "We will talk about my daughter's problem later. Let's talk about the problem between us first. What do you think about me?"
If you have any other opinions, please tell me everything."
Xu Minghui nodded, looked me up and down, and said slowly to me, "One more thing, I have reminded you long ago that women in their thirties must take better care of themselves, but look at the clothes you are wearing.
The useful cosmetics are all cheap. Wearing these clothes and applying these cosmetics on your face, every time we go out to a gathering of classmates and colleagues, we will see that other female classmates of similar age to you are all dressed up decently and gorgeously.
, don’t you think the price has dropped?”
When I heard this, I was stunned, and a surge of anger surged up. I wanted to hold it in, but I blurted out to Xu Minghui: "What's the price difference? I didn't steal or rob. Although the clothes are cheap, they are cheap."
I dress comfortably and decently. Although the cosmetics are all from supermarkets, they just apply for skin care. What do you think is the price difference?"
Seeing that I started to talk back, Xu Minghui lowered his head and waved his hand to me, and said calmly: "Okay, let's not argue about this topic for now."
I looked at the sanctimonious Xu Minghui sitting in front of me. At this time, my mood was not just anger, but also a feeling of chill. A bone-chilling chill went straight to the bottom of my heart.
After so many years of marriage, I have never bought clothes that cost more than 500 yuan. Whether it is a summer dress or a winter coat, they have never cost more than 500 yuan. I always buy down jackets when they are on sale out of season.
It's a few hundred dollars cheaper.
The cosmetics I use are all mainland products from supermarkets, such as Dabao, Yumeijing and so on. My skin is not white, but very smooth. I haven’t had any acne since adolescence. I don’t choose cosmetics. I just wear everything.
Same, I think cosmetics can just moisturize the skin. Several girls and wives in our office use brand-name cosmetics that cost thousands of dollars, but I think their skin is just like that, no better than mine.
go.
Of course, the purpose of lowering my standards and being so demanding on myself when it comes to clothing and cosmetics is just to save a few dollars, which can be used for the expenses of our small family. I would rather buy more nutritional supplements for my children.
I bought Xu Minghui a pair of brand-name clothes, but I was unwilling to invest more in myself. I didn't expect that in the end, I would get such a result.
I cursed secretly in my heart: Xu Minghui, Xu Minghui, you can be considered a person with a conscience? Go and look in the closet, how many pieces of clothing do you have that cost thousands of dollars? Go and look at my clothes, how many pieces of clothing do I have?
Can it be compared to the price of one piece? I have shown you my heart and soul to this extent, but in the end you sent me all the trouble. This is really unreasonable.
I held back the anger and chill in my heart and asked Xu Minghui, "What else?"
Xu Minghui looked at me and continued: "There is also... sexual intercourse between us without wives." At this point, his face turned a little red. "As the years of marriage increase, you are becoming more and more boring. At home,
You are also becoming more and more slovenly, and you always dress carelessly. Occasionally I bought you some sexy underwear, but you refused to wear it, which made me lose interest. This aspect is also one of the reasons why you and I are distanced."
I sneered in my heart and thought: Xu Minghui, if you are rich and can afford a big house, a nanny, and a servant, and I don’t have to do anything when I get home, then I will wear sexy lingerie every day.
I have to seduce you in our big bedroom, but can you create this living condition for me?
I am busy with work and housework every day, and I am busy with my daughter after I finish housework. Every night when I go back to the bedroom to rest, I just want to sleep. I admit that these daily chores have worn away part of my interest in sex, but as a husband, you should know your wife best.
It's hard work and difficult, but now instead of being considerate of your wife's hard work, you are complaining indiscriminately. Which one is really intolerable?
"Xia Yan is very interesting in this aspect, isn't she?" My anger was not visible, I asked Xu Minghui calmly.
Seeing that I was not angry, Xu Minghui thought that I wanted to have a good discussion with him on this topic, so he nodded to me sincerely and replied: "Yes, she is very charming."
"Is she also willing to go out to play wild games with you?" I asked again calmly.
Xu Minghui's expression was a little awkward. He just smiled and did not respond directly to the question, but his attitude said everything.
I smiled bitterly in my heart. I remembered that once, Xu Minghui took me out for a drive at night. Later, he parked the car outside a park and wanted to take me to a deserted place in the park to play wild games. He asked me to strictly
I refused. I was thinking, at that time, if we were our age, if the park staff caught us and thought we were some gangsters who were not doing their jobs properly, they would then take us to the police station. What would happen?
Shameful?
The funny thing is, Xia Yan probably did everything that I was unwilling to do on my behalf and on Xu Minghui's behalf.
"That's all the above? Do you have any other dissatisfaction with me? Let's talk about it all together." I said to Xu Minghui calmly.
"Also, you are too tight on finances and give me too little pocket money. In addition, you usually pursue me too closely. You usually go out to socialize with your colleagues, and you are the one who calls me first every time.