In the bathroom, Claire lowered her head and stared at her hands, with an inconspicuous wrinkle trembling slightly at the corner of her eyes.
"What's wrong with me..."
She tried to recall how she felt when she pointed a gun at Ann in the room, feeling uneasy inside.
At that moment, there seemed to be a voice in the depths of her consciousness urging her to pull the trigger. If An He hadn't happened to turn around at the last moment, she wasn't sure she would have done something incredible.
"An He..." Claire approached the mirror in front of the sink, stared at herself reflected in the mirror and muttered to herself, "How could I want to hurt her?"
Her eyes were a little dazed, and what came to her mind was the scene when she met An He for the first time.
That was ten years ago.
During the summer vacation ten years ago, she had just been promoted to A1-level specialist in a branch under the Xingzhou City Security Bureau, and took the opportunity to be transferred to the headquarters.
In the tea room lounge next to the headquarters hall, Claire met An He, who was wearing a middle school uniform, and Yu Zhesen, who was still a primary school student.
The person in charge of personnel transfer at the headquarters was overworked that day and left Claire there. It was not until An Zhitian came to have tea after work in the evening that the two children discovered this omission.
An Zhitian expressed his apology and thanks to her: "I'm sorry for making you wait here for a day. I will urge the personnel department to complete the procedures as soon as possible. In addition... thank you for accompanying the children."
"You're welcome, it's a pleasure to get along with these two kids."
These were not polite words. She stayed with Xiao Anhe and Xiao Yu Zhesen throughout the afternoon.
Claire gave them some homework guidance, and she found that the two children did not feel any distance from themselves because of their different looks.
During the break, An He even complimented her on how beautiful her silver hair was, and asked wildly if she could touch it.
"You are the third most beautiful woman I have ever seen." An He, who was less than 14 years old at the time, said innocently, stroking her hair.
Claire smiled: "Then who is first and second?"
"The first is my mother, and the second is Xiaosen's mother." An He pointed at Yu Zhesen and said.
"But they are all gone." Yu Zhesen said with a mature face.
An He argued with him: "No, they are still there and will always exist in our memory."
She opened the photo album on her phone and found a photo of two young ladies and showed it to Claire.
The two women in the photo are both beautiful. The woman on the left is slightly taller, with black hair tied into a neat ponytail. She is wearing a new style of Security Bureau windbreaker uniform, with her sleeves rolled up high and her hands in her pockets, chewing gum and blowing it out.
A purple bubble.
The woman standing on her right was wearing a sun hat tied with a black ribbon and a light floral dress. It seemed that the wind was blowing when the photo was taken. She was holding the hat with one hand and pressing the rolled skirt with the other, and her smile was still sweet. Brilliant.
Claire admitted from the bottom of her heart that the two women in the photo were more beautiful than herself. No matter in terms of heroic appearance or gentle and touching style, she could not compare with them.
Later, she was promoted in the Starzhou City Security Bureau based on her superior performance, and finally entered the ranks of S-class commissioners. The awarding ceremony was held in the Hall of Honor at the headquarters, where Claire met the woman in the photo for the second time. This time it is a black and white portrait.
Chen Huaixia, S3 level commissioner, was awarded the "Iron Dome Defender Medal", which is regarded as the highest honor by the Commissioner of the Security Bureau, from the 24th to the 52nd year of the Iron Dome Era, and was posthumously awarded the title of "Iron Dome Hero".
After the ceremony, Claire went to check Chen Huaixia's information. She was shocked. The files of the former elite commissioner whose life stopped at the age of 28 contained nearly 200 cases, almost all the way through Chen Huaixia's 20 to 28 years. Eight years of service.
There was only a brief gap at the age of 24. Claire guessed that Chen Huaixia became a mother during that time.
Excellent work, successful career. Happy family, happy life.
It would have been nice if he had not died in the Advent attack against Iron Dome in 52 years...
Claire wants to regard Chen Huaixia as the role model and benchmark that she will pursue throughout her life. She does not dare to expect that she can surpass it, and even feels that it is a luxury to hope to surpass him.
In Iron Dome 52, the Starzhou City Security Bureau lost too many outstanding talents, but everyone avoided talking about that attack, so the heroes who were supposed to become legends ended up living only in secret files, with love Their people's memories are deep.
Claire was unexpectedly visited by An He during a vacation. The girl who was about to complete her life studies came to the apartment where she lived alone to help her clean.
An He worked with her to tidy up the messy house, and finally asked her seriously for advice on how to become a Security Bureau commissioner.
"Not as An Zhitian's daughter, and I don't want to do clerical work or logistics." An He deliberately emphasized, "I want to be an outstanding commissioner like Aunt Huaixia who fights on the front line."
Claire was touched by her ambition and told her how to sign up for the training camp.
Later, Claire voluntarily chose to withdraw from the active S-class specialist and became an instructor responsible for training newcomers. She had a surprise reunion with An He at the training camp.
Two years later, she welcomed Chen Huaixia's child, Yu Zhesen, at the training camp.
The grown boy has a more distinct personality than the boy he impressed her as a child. He is a shrewd, cunning and humorous kid. However, Claire is a little disappointed that Yu Zhisen seems to have forgotten that they had met when they were children.
After the performance simulating wilderness survival training, he would bring back unknown wild flowers to her to ask for drinks, and tease her in a mean-spirited way that she should lose some fat and control her figure, otherwise she would turn into a white aunt in middle age, and the training camp was on vacation.
When I was there, I was the first to come to her to get my phone back, but I stayed in her office using the wifi and refused to go home.
"Both Lao An and An He have gone to work, and there is no one to cook for me when I get home." The dirty-looking young man, who still had the dust from the training ground on his face, confidently stayed in her office playing with his mobile phone.
"Can't you learn to do it yourself? The eldest son of the director's family?"
"No, it's so lonely eating alone."
The flash of Claire's mobile phone, which had been prepared long ago, flashed and captured the moment when this kid was pretending to be coquettish.
She compared this funny photo with another photo of Yu Zhisen that was accidentally photographed by an automatic camera at the training ground, and couldn't help laughing.
In the second photo, Yu Zhesen is wearing a thick camouflage net, almost blending into the bushes where he is hiding. Like an old hunter, he is staring at the several hostile drill trainees in the distance who are exposed to his gun, with his profile exposed
Sneer.
"Cunning boy." Claire threw a towel on Yu Zhesen, "If you don't want to go hungry, wash your face before I come back."
Claire brought him fast food from outside, and the two of them cooked at both ends of the desk.
At that time, her addiction to smoking was not that strong, and she rarely took out a cigarette in front of Yu Zhesen. She only occasionally felt bored and would smoke one outside the office.
On the day when the training camp ended, Yu Zhesen gave her a box of expensive tough gummies and wrote a thank-you card to her. When he said goodbye, his mother-in-law told her to eat more candy and smoke less.
He said that the calories generated by sugar can be consumed through exercise, but the damage to the lungs and respiratory tract caused by smoke is difficult to heal.
Claire laughed it off. She did not expect that she could live a long life, and often comforted herself - with today's medical technology and prosthetic technology, it is very easy to save a terminally ill smoker.
But that day when she was chewing the gummy Yu Zhesen gave her, the photo unconsciously appeared in her mind, and she blew purple bubbles with her hands in her pockets.
"Collapse", a crisp sound.
This was followed by a burst of tinnitus that lasted for ten seconds.
In an instant, Claire seemed to feel like something was broken in her mind.
The broken thing seemed to be some kind of strange shackles, which had restrained and distorted her emotions and understanding of the two young men. It had always made her feel a strange sense of disobedience when facing Yu Zhesen and An He.
.
The feeling of dissonance was like a split personality, and there were always two opposite thoughts in her consciousness.
A thought told her that the student in front of her was her proud student, a good child with whom she had had precious memories.
Another thought told her that these were all illusions. What she faced was a devil with dangerous powers who could lose control and go on a rampage to destroy the world at any time.
And when she was alone with either Yu Zhesen or An He, it was as if she was possessed, and the latter thought would silently overwhelm the previous one.
This is wrong, there is something wrong with my thinking, Claire thought.
But now, she finally broke free from the invisible shackles by relying on her own strength and the power of memories.
The moment the shackles broke, the emotion brought by the memories overwhelmed her defenses.
She was in a daze and burst into tears unknowingly.
"Madam? I'm sorry, madam, to bother you."
"Do you need help?"
Concerned questions came to her ears, and Claire suddenly came back to reality and found that her eyes were blurry and her face was wet.
An old gentleman with a white mustache stood aside, with concern hidden in his kind brows.
Seeing Claire come to her senses, he took out a clean handkerchief from his suit pocket and handed it over.
"Thank you." Claire waved her hand and took out a tissue from her pocket.
She suddenly realized that she was still wearing the uniform windbreaker of the Security Bureau, her cheeks felt hot, and she thought that it was really inappropriate to be so rude.
"Did something happen on the ship? I saw your young people in a hurry before, and the departure time of the ship was also delayed." The old gentleman was a little nervous.
"No, please don't worry." Claire regained her composure, "With us here, there won't be any problems."
The old gentleman expressed concern for her a few more words, and then staggered away after confirming that she was okay.
Claire was glad that she didn't wear heavy makeup today. She wiped her face with a tissue, took out the lipstick she brought with her and touched up her lip gloss, practiced a confident smile in the mirror for a few seconds, and then left the bathroom.