I was crying while looking for my needle, and kept touching the sewer with my hand along the flowing water, "This is the needle that I worked hard to cultivate in my body, how can you not cherish it..."
Turning my face, I couldn't see his back clearly, but I never wanted to call him out. I just felt that he gradually walked into the rain curtain, and at the same time, he gradually walked out of my life.
Standing up, I shouted loudly at his back: "I told you! Don't be my life-saving straw! Who do you think you are! Who do you think you are! So what if I am intersex! I am
You are so intersex!! I swear! I will never see you again in my life!! I will never see you again!! I hate you!!"
After shouting, the blood in my heart seemed to explode instantly. I felt dizzy and fell directly to the ground. The rain was still pouring down. I raised my face and my eyes were unable to open due to the rain.
Come on, what else can I not bear? Because I am intersex, so I should die, should be disliked by my family, and should be unable to grasp anything.
The raindrops hit me like stone particles.
At this moment, I seemed to suddenly wake up a little, and finally understood why my sister-in-law had been gone all afternoon that day. It was because my heart really hurt. It hurts so much that you don’t know how to vent it out. I really want you to hate me, but really
I hate myself, but I just want to hate myself. I hate myself for being like this since I was born.
When Xu Meijin called me, I was already in a daze. I was touching the ground near the sewer with surging water. I must find my needle. I will never raise a second needle in this life, so even if
Even if Zhuo Jing doesn’t want it, I can’t let this needle disappear just like that.
"Jiaolong!!" Xu Meijin shouted at me while holding an umbrella, ran to me in a few steps, and quickly held the umbrella over my head: "What are you doing here? You're already soaked! You'll get sick.
of!!"
I shook off her hand holding mine: "Don't move me, I'll look for the needle again, look for my needle..."
"What kind of needle?" Xu Meijin was confused: "Let's go home. I've told you a long time ago that Zhuo Jing is not sincere in his treatment of you, so why are you doing this!!"
"Stop talking!!!" I stared at her: "I'm looking for a needle, my needle. Even if Zhuo Jing doesn't want it, it's still my needle!!!"
As I said that, I touched my hand again. Now I really understand the idiom of finding a needle in a haystack, but all I could think about at that time was to find the needle. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even know what I was going to do next.
What will happen.
Xu Meijin gritted her teeth and looked at me, then suddenly threw the umbrella away: "Okay, I'll help you find it!! If you get sick, then I will get sick with you! I have to let you know that I will always depend on you.
of!!"
My hand holding the needle in the water suddenly paused, and I turned to look at her: "I beg you, please don't say such things, okay? Just leave me alone for a while. I just want to leave you alone."
I found the needle, and I don’t want to hear anything else..."
"I can't find it! It's raining so hard and the sky is so dark. Where can I find a needle? Jiaolong, I beg you not to be stupid anymore. Okay, let's just stay together like before, okay?
Seeing you like this makes me feel more distressed than anyone else!!"
I started to feel cold, really cold, and I didn't have the strength to continue touching it like this. I raised my eyes and looked at her: "If you really feel sorry for me, then why did you let me end up like this? Get out of here."
I really don’t want to see you anymore, go away..."
Xu Meijin's expression seemed to be that she was crying, but the rain was so heavy that her tears would be replaced by the rain like mine.
She knelt down beside me and stretched out her arms to hug me: "Jiaolong, I beg you, I beg you not to talk to me like this. I really just want you to be well. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, even for
You can die, Jiaolong, I can always take care of you. Really, I really like you very much. I don’t expect you to become a man. As long as you are like this, it’s fine. I really want to leave you.
I won’t let you go…”
The rain was so loud that I couldn't hear clearly what Xu Meijin said. I just instinctively wanted to reach out and push her away, but suddenly I couldn't use any strength. My body went limp and I fell down.
"Jiaolong!!!"
Xu Meijin cried loudly and called my name, grabbed my hand and pulled me up, squatting in front of me and trying to carry me, "Jiaolong, just hold on, I'll take you to the hospital right away.
You're fine, you must be fine, I can definitely send it to you."
My whole body was weak, and my teeth were so cold that they were chattering slightly. Am I going to die? I secretly thought, just die, I have lived enough.
"Jojo!!!"
The brother-in-law's voice rang out immediately, "You hold an umbrella, give it to me!!!"
Just before I lost consciousness, I felt myself being hugged by someone: "What happened, Qiaoqiao, what happened to you and Qilin!!"
Finally it stopped raining. I hate rainy days.
"I lost my needle..."
I opened my mouth and spat out a few words indistinctly, but then I didn't understand anything anymore.
I lost my needle, I lost my person, I lost everything.
There were people coming in and out of the house, and my mind was always groggy. It seemed like someone was giving me another injection, saying something about having a fever, and Xu Meijin was calling my name again and again. I didn’t want to wake up.
In the blur, I seemed to see Zhuo Jing open the door and come in. He sat beside my bed and looked at me quietly.
Finally, there was no such angry and violent look in his eyes, and he was as peaceful as we were before.
"You're not angry with me anymore?"
I asked.
He didn't speak, just shook his head, reached out and gently touched the hair on my forehead.
"What time is your flight? I'll see you off."
I struggled to sit up, and his hand pressed my shoulder: "You have a good rest, I won't leave."
Not leaving?!
I looked at him in surprise, but felt extremely happy: "Really? What about your studies?"
"I won't go. You should take good care of your health. We will always be together."
I grinned and looked at him: "Really, don't you think I'm disgusting?"
"No." He replied softly, "Go to sleep."
I closed my eyes, but I couldn't help but want to cry. I knew vaguely in my heart that this was just a dream. How could Zhuo Jing speak like this? However, it didn't matter if it was a dream, I didn't want to hear those decisive words again, even if it was just this.
Even if I become a passerby, I don’t want my memories to be full of words that hurt people’s internal organs and tear their internal organs.
"Jiaolong, stop crying, grandma is back to see you..."
Suddenly there was a voice in my ears. My heart tightened and I immediately opened my eyes: "Grandma?" (To be continued)