Chapter 2 Tired of hearing birds chirping after waking up from a dream
The woods around Ganlu Temple are lush and green, with rain and dew clouds and mist, dripping with nectar, and it is quiet and pleasant. www. I slept quietly for half a day, and the pain in my body eased slightly.
The abbot was somewhat considerate because I was not feeling very well, and he only asked me to have a good rest before talking about anything else. I fell into a drowsy sleep all day long, paying little attention to what was going on in the temple, and did not care about the presence of Jinxi and Huanbi.
do something.
I only know that they don't always stay with me together, and there is gradually a tired look in the corners of their eyes and eyebrows.
I can't bear it all the time.
That day in Tangli Palace, all the palace servants who served me begged to come out of the palace with me.
If Liuzhu died early, Huanbi would naturally follow me. Otherwise, she was brought into the palace as my dowry, and living in the palace, she would definitely be bullied in the future.
Both Xiao Lianzi and Xiao Yunzi were disabled. Once they left the palace, they would lose their support and shelter. What's more, it was inconvenient to live with first-class concubines in Ganlu Temple.
Longyue was entrusted to Concubine Jing, so naturally a few people around me had to follow. After all, serving Longyue was just like serving my old master. Concubine Jing also wanted to comfort my heart and took away Pin'er and Pei'er.
and Xiao Lianzi.
I can rest assured that Xiao Lianzi has some skills after all and is a loyal person. With him by Haoyue's side, it's unlikely that someone would be able to plot against her easily.
Meizhuang also asked Xiao Yunzi to serve in her palace. In the past, Xiao Yunzi was the most proud eunuch around me. As soon as I left the palace, he had to suffer a lot of scattered torture. Meizhuang also liked Xiao Yunzi's cleverness and ability.
He can also help Meizhuang and become her arm.
Meizhuang and Longyue are the two people I can't let go of the most in the palace.
Fortunately, Meizhuang has the protection of the Queen Mother, and no one else dares to do anything to it. Secretly, I entrusted Wen Shichu and Xiao Yunzi to make every effort to protect Meizhuang.
As for Longyue, the concubine Jing has no children, so she must be regarded as her own child. She has a good relationship with me, has a high status, and is popular in the palace. She is the best person to raise Longyue.
Only Jin Xi insisted on leaving the palace with me, which surprised me.
She is quite famous among the palace maids, she is a gentle person of the fifth rank, and she has served the concubine in the past. She really does not need to endure hardships with me.
I originally thought that no matter what happened, I could let her follow Concubine Jing and take good care of Haoyue. But she confessed to me, "It is safe for the Emperor to have Concubine Jing to take care of her. I really don't need to stand in the way of Concubine Jing. Concubine Jing is going to go."
To practice, you must have people to serve you. One girl, Huanbi, is not enough. It is hard to ask her to work hard alone. This slave has been willing to worship the Buddha since she was a child. This is the best opportunity. I only hope that the empress will not despise the slave for being clumsy.
Seeing that this slave has been very dedicated to your Majesty these past few years, I beg your Majesty to take this slave out."
When she spoke like this, I couldn't push her away anymore, so I had to take her out. Fortunately, Jinxi was smart and capable, and she was really indispensable in everything. With her soft words of comfort and understanding, she often came to comfort my lonely heart.
On this day, Jinxi was sitting in the courtyard with her head down mending a piece of clothing, while I twisted the nanmu beads one by one and carefully threaded them into a string of Buddhist beads.
The sunlight shines through the white cotton window paper, as thin as a thin layer of glazed gauze, soft and light. There is a white porcelain Guanyin statue on the table, with a wide forehead and a plump face, and a kind face. Looking at it makes you feel kind and honest.
, with a compassionate attitude to save all sentient beings. Three sticks of sandalwood were burning in front of the Guanyin statue, and the incense curled up like mist, faint and faint.
Jinxi smiled and said: "Madam, you are in good spirits today, why don't we go for a walk together. The scenery around Ganlu Temple has always been quite famous, so you might as well go and take a look."
Jinxi's courtesy was just to relieve my depressed thoughts. I didn't know that, so I agreed, and the two of them walked out together.
Outside Kyoto, there are many mountains with verdant peaks, undulating and overlapping like green barriers, supporting each other. The high places reach straight into the sky, while the low and gentle places meander like the jade arms of a beautiful woman. Among the peaks, there are Piaomiao Peak, Saga Peak, Ganlu Peak and Lingyun Peak.
The most famous ones are Piao Miao Peak and Chao Peak, which are far apart from each other. Ganlu Peak, Chao Peak and Lingyun Peak are connected to each other. The clouds and mountains are shrouded in mist, and the scenery is the most beautiful.
The mountains and rivers are all vast, and it seems unreal in the swirling smoke and water, as if the whole person is completely integrated into it. I look at the mountains, rivers, clouds and mist in the distance, the scenery is comfortable, and the tiredness I felt when I left the palace swept through my heart again.
It invaded my heart, lungs and bones. My heart felt empty, and I said lightly: "Jinxi, if we can live peacefully like this in Ganlu Temple for the rest of our lives, I have nothing else to ask for."
Jin Xi said softly: "We are far away from the land of right and wrong, and presumably right and wrong will not find us again. Madam, please feel free."
The strong mountain wind blew up a corner of my gray Buddhist robe, like a withered butterfly, opening its wings tiredly. "If the ancient Buddha of Qingdeng could end his life like this, he would be considered pure."
Jin Xi sighed slightly, "The current situation is pretty good. Based on the current situation, if the lady does not ask herself to become a monk, she will either die, be sent to the Jinleng Palace, or the emperor will seal Tangli in anger.
Palace, let the lady live forever and never see the light of day. If someone adds another insult to injury, the end will be worse than today."
I bit my lips, and the disgust and resentment in my heart could hardly be restrained, "Zi'ao City is so filthy and dark, I would rather never go back forever. I only pity my Hazy Moon, and I will never meet again in this life."
Jin Xi held my slightly trembling shoulders, her hands were strong and firm, "Not everyone can walk out of this place alive. Madam, you must believe that sometimes not seeing each other for the rest of your life is considered a kind of preservation. Emperor
Ji is like this, and so is Madam’s family.” Jin Xi sighed and said, “I hope Madam can think clearly and sleep peacefully every night.”
Why don't I understand what Jin Xi said? I have never had a good night's sleep since I entered Ganlu Temple. Many late nights, I almost opened my eyes and watched the changes in light and shadow in the sky from the twilight closing to the fish-belly white morning light in the east.
The interlacing of light and dark cast on the window paper, even if it changes slightly, I can understand it in my heart.
How many times have I bit my lips and curled my fingers hard in the dark night that seemed to have no end in sight, completely forgetting the pain of my lips being bitten and my palms being pinched and bleeding, in order to resist all the pain in my heart.
Unwilling to accept the humiliation, I could only do nothing, watching them gnaw at my already broken heart until it was completely broken.
Knowing that I have no power to resist, I can only endure it for the rest of my life.
I had a sleepless night. How could Jin Xi not know? Even Huanbi, I heard her crying under the quilt. Weeping for my parents and brothers who are far away from each other, and weeping for my sister-in-law and Zhining who had suffered such a misfortune.
The long night is full of autumn lights. This is the season when the autumn flowers are pale and the grass is yellow. The autumn night is endless, and it seems that there will never be a bright day. Even if you wait until dawn, how can the gloom in your heart be illuminated for a moment?
I am silent, just silent.
When I returned to the room, Huanbi had already brought the food and put it on the table. When he saw me coming back, he couldn't help complaining: "The abbot has already greeted the kitchen and said that the lady is still in confinement and needs to be taken special care of."
You can eat some heavy oily and meaty food, but you don’t know that the food delivered still doesn’t have a drop of oil, let alone meaty food. Of course, Jin Xi and I have nothing, but the lady is still in confinement, what can we do if we don’t take good care of ourselves?
Woolen cloth?"
After I finished speaking, I just picked up the chopsticks and said quietly: "After all, this is a quiet place in Buddhism. How can you touch meat and fish? Don't make it look like I'm too out of line. It doesn't matter what, just eat until you're full."
"Remembering those days when Tangli was banned, even the food was rotten and we still ate it raw." Jin Xi frowned slightly, showing a troubled look, "Have you and Miss Huanbi noticed that although the abbot is named abbot, he has a very different nature.
Being gentle and cowardly cannot control the people in the temple. Even though he wants to take care of my wife, he is unable to do so."
Huanbi said: "Why can't you tell? When you came here, just say that we two serve the young lady. But after only two days, Master Jingbai and the others have sent down many waiters?"
Jinxi said: "Although Ganlu Temple has a lot of money for sesame oil, the nuns in the temple usually have to starch and wash their clothes and do rough work. Once we came here, many things like starching and washing were handed over to us. We stayed under the fence.
Naturally, I can't argue. Fortunately, these tasks are what slaves and Huanbi girls are used to doing, so it doesn't matter."
"I'm afraid..." Huanbi said anxiously: "When the time comes they will have to push even further, and even the young ladies will have to work hard together."
I lowered my head silently, chewed the vegetarian food in my mouth, and said calmly: "I am already in Ganlu Temple. Even if I am asked to do rough and heavy work, I should do it." I held their hands and said sincerely: "It's just a embarrassment.
You guys always work hard for me."
Huanbi lowered her head with tears in her eyes and sobbed: "Now the only relative left around me is my eldest sister. As long as I stay with my eldest sister, I won't complain about anything."
Jin Xi also said: "Since I am willing to leave the palace to accompany my wife, I will be willing to do so no matter what difficulties I encounter."
I was deeply moved and sighed: "From now on, only the three of us will depend on each other."
Huanbi cried softly and sobbed: "None of us have anything, it's just that my eldest sister is so thin, I feel really scared when I see her."
In Huanbi's words, I was caught off guard and saw my current appearance. I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror for a long time. When the depressed face in the dim brass mirror came into my eyes, even my heart felt a little nervous.
Momentary resistance and disbelief, is this me, is this me now? A pair of deathly gray eyes, dormant on the abruptly raised cheekbones. The sorrow and pain in the eyes have sunk to the bottom.
It is like the fallen sand after the waves have washed away, lying silently in the depths of the dark bronze mirror, without any waves. Just like an ancient well, no matter how you search, even if it stirs up thousands of waves of broken shadows, it will eventually return to peace.
It's so bleak that I have no tears to shed and I can't help myself. The person in the mirror is so unfamiliar. I know it's me, but I still can't believe it. This is who I am now.
Although her appearance was haggard, it had not changed much after all. However, her eyes were really like an old woman who had been ill for many years, or like flowers that had once been full and blooming, but had withered silently and died on the branches of the cold wind.
head.
Once upon a time, my beauty came most from these eyes, which were as smart as beads, dancing lightly and rippling. Whether they were happy or angry, my daughter's thoughts that could not be expressed in words were conveyed from a distance by a wave of eyes.
Once you get out, there will naturally be thoughtful people who will understand.
And the killing and decisiveness in the palace, cruel and fierce, whether it is an enemy or a friend, are not exchanged with this look. Gradually, the eyes are condensed with scheming, with a smile when they want to cry, and the accumulation of energy when they want to laugh.
Tears turned away the liveliness and directness of the girl in the boudoir.
Even the king's favor, tenderness and affection, and the charm in the corners of his eyebrows suddenly grew up in this way, offsetting the girl's ignorance and ignorance. In this way, she grew into a woman in an instant, and possessed the so-called charm and charm in an instant.
The amorous feelings and myriad thoughts are all contained in the corner of the eye.
It turns out that I am aging so fast and my heart is dying. I originally thought that only I knew about it. But I didn't expect that what I couldn't hide was that my eyes were getting old and stagnant.
Sad and clear.
It was rainy and windy at night, and the cold rain "plopped" and knocked on the window paper. The iron horses on the eaves of the entire Ganlu Temple "ding-ding" in the wind and rain. The rainwater dripped from the eaves, like a soul-inducing bell, making a lot of noise.
The human brain is about to burst.
I dreamed one dream after another in a trance. The person seemed to be divided into two halves. One half was awake and had a simple and ignorant consciousness, while the other half was still asleep, so soundly that it seemed as if it would never wake up.
In a daze, it seems that it is still in the red-walled palace. The long red walls and pink walls on both sides of the Yongxiang are so long, like two giant red dragons winding down endlessly. The bluestone slabs of the Yongxiang are so smooth, vaguely
Jinxi was still holding my hand, and the two of them walked together, as if they were going to Shanglin Garden to enjoy the scenery, or something else. Their destination and purpose were vague, and they were just walking with the flow. However, Jianqiu came towards them.
Shi Shiran saluted and said with a smile: "The Queen has invited Concubine Wan to enjoy the flowers. Young Master An is also here. He has been waiting for the Queen for a long time."
Jian Qiu's face seemed to have been coated with a lot of gouache, and it was extraordinarily snow-white. It was so white that it didn't look like her, who was so white and tender, but looked a bit like Concubine Hua. So I also laughed: "The Queen has invited me, and I will naturally come immediately."
Just go." So she held Jinxi's hand and started to walk away.
But after taking two steps, there was the sound of Liu Zhu behind me. I saw her running towards me in a hurry. I think she was running in such a hurry that her face turned red. It was so red that it seemed like she was about to bleed. She said as loudly as possible: "
Miss, don’t go! Don’t go! You can’t go!”
I wondered: "Liu Zhu, where have you been? I haven't seen you for a long time. What should you do now that you are in such a panic?"
I was just startled when the Queen and An Lingrong had already arrived in front of me, both smiling broadly. The Queen, wearing the same bright red brocade dress, said with a cheerful face: "My dear concubine, I have summoned you, why don't you come in a hurry? You
It’s never been like this.”
Although the queen's words were kind, they were extremely heavy. I hurriedly wanted to kneel down, but my knees were extremely stiff and I couldn't kneel down. I was so panicked that cold sweat was dripping from my forehead. I turned my head in panic, and saw
Jian Qiu's eyes were dark and deep, and her eyelashes were covered with extremely fine and gorgeous golden beads. She raised her head suddenly, but she turned into the appearance of Concubine Hua. There was a sneer on her lips, and she said quietly: "What?
Concubine Wan Gui, aren’t you willing to kneel down to this old woman, the Queen?”
I was scared and frightened. Lingrong smiled as brightly as a flower and waved to me gently, "Sister, come quickly, the queen treats us best. Sister, come here, Rong'er is here too." She smiled softly, smiling so much.
She was charming and graceful, but her smile was like a steel knife cutting into her body, causing endless pain.
At some point, Qi Concubine quietly walked out from behind the Queen and Lingrong, and said coldly and sadly: "Queen, Concubine Wan is so disobedient, how should we punish her?"
The queen's smile was still noble and decent, and her every move was the graceful demeanor of the mother of a country. She smiled and said: "My concubine Wan wins the emperor's heart the most, how can I be willing to punish her? Not only will I not punish her, but I will also reward her well."
Here." She called Lingrong softly, "Go and get the Shuhen glue to reward Wangui concubine." Then she said to me: "Shuhen glue is the best for nourishing the face. Wangui concubine, please use it well. Your Majesty, your concubine.
She must be loved even more by her beautiful face, and your concubine will be able to give birth to an heir for the emperor as soon as possible." A crack suddenly appeared in the queen's perfect smile, and she said in a resentful tone: "Maybe, my concubine Wan used this Shuhen glue, President
She is becoming more and more like my dearest sister, Queen Chunyuan, so that is really gratifying and congratulatory."
Ling Rong was walking in the wind, and carefully held the Shuhen Gua in front of me. With a pink face, she persuaded: "Sister, please use it well, the Queen Mother's words are always right."
I screamed in horror and tried my best to push away the Skin Care Glue that Lingrong brought to my eyes. Lingrong didn't take it seriously at all. He just smiled softly and put a dab of Skin Care Glue on his fingers. His face suddenly changed and became vicious.
Apply the gel to my face vigorously.
The cool and fragrant touch and smell of Shuhen Guo made me scream in fear and turned my head away as hard as I could. However, Lingrong's technique was so agile and precise, how could I dodge it?
Concubine Hua stood aside with her arms folded, her voice resentful and hollow, and she said, "Now you understand, your child is gone, not because of me, nor my Huan Yixiang." She burst out suddenly, as if crying.
She looked like she was smiling, but also like she was crazy. She pointed at me with one hand and shouted sternly: "I didn't harm your child, but the one who harmed my child was also the queen! We don't know, we don't know!" She grabbed her head with her head.
His eyes were almost bursting with fire, and he cried loudly, as if in a state of madness: "You have Shuchen glue, and I have Huanyixiang, how can we have children! We are all poor people without children!"
"Her forehead broke instantly when it hit the ground, and blood gushed out in an instant, dripping continuously, as if there were countless bright peach blossoms blooming on her cheeks and clothes, just like the three spring scenes condensed on her body, but there was no trace of it.
I thought it was beautiful, but I saw it was miserable and terrible.
The queen's voice suddenly began to sob, like a married woman in a boat, complaining endlessly, and snorted: "You are pitiful? Aren't I pitiful? What you have died is just an unformed fetus. And what about me, I am not pitiful?"
I saw with my own eyes that my son died in my arms - your child, what's so pitiful about you!" The dark cloud-like haze on the Queen's face was suddenly swept away, and she said with a smile: "My dear concubine,
I still have some good things to reward you." She winked at Qi Bin, and Qi Bin's expression changed. She held a red brocade robe in her arms and slowly shook it open, revealing a pair of beads with peacock patterns.
The brocade is densely embroidered with gold thread through pearls to embroider the blue cloud pattern of passion flower and the twining branches of precious flowers. Xiali uses twisted silver thread to create a picture of clouds, water and Xiaoxiang, and is dotted with rhinestones, which is gorgeous and elegant.
Lingrong covered her lips and smiled, her brisk voice was as gentle as an oriole, but now it sounded sharp and harsh, "Sister, I have always been noble and generous, so wearing this is perfect. This dress was worn by Empress Chunyuan when she first entered the palace.
, Sister, please take good care of me!" With a glance, Qi Bin wrapped her clothes around me without any explanation, like a giant net falling from the sky, trapping me tightly and preventing me from escaping.
, unable to struggle, I can only watch myself like a dying fish in a fishing net, struggling to resist, but it is all in vain.
I was anxious and resentful in my heart, and turned my head in fear. Bright and bright blood fell drop by drop from the red neck, which was as red as if it was about to hurt someone's eyes. Her face was full of sadness, and she turned her head slowly and said: "
Miss, Liu Zhuke is leaving and can no longer serve Miss."
I forgot for a moment that I was still in the net, and shouted with all my strength: "Liu Zhu, where are you going? Why don't you want me anymore!"
Liu Zhu smiled faintly, the sadness on his face was like stagnant water, and said softly: "Miss, our master and servant have been in love with sisters for a long time, but now the love has come to an end. The young lady and the young master are very lonely down there, helpless.
If they are taken care of, Liu Zhu will go and serve them. Miss, take care of yourself."
I felt like my heart was being hit by a stone, and finally I couldn't help crying. But I saw that my sister-in-law was still the same as before, charming and charming, holding Zhining in her arms and saying, "I used to call you empress, but now we are no longer together."
, I’ll call you ‘little aunt’. Zhi Ning and I are so poor that we can’t follow my husband anymore. You and your husband both need to be fine. Don’t let those of us who took the first step worry about you.”
Zhining's cries seemed to still ring in my ears, and I burst into tears, "Sister-in-law, tell me the truth, how could this happen?"
The sister-in-law shook her head and sighed, "Sister-in-law, just think about it, how can you easily get malaria in the weather in October?"
On the other side of the chamber, the mausoleum was full of smiles, its feather fan swayed slightly, and she said playfully: "No matter how beautiful the peach blossoms bloom, they are just vulgar things after all. They can't match the charm and beauty of the oleander."
The sister-in-law only smiled faintly and responded: "Really? Peach blossoms and oleanders are from the same family, so why bother to worry about each other! Even if we have to distinguish right from wrong, it only depends on people's hearts."
The mausoleum was neither arrogant nor impetuous. He took out a fan to shield his face and said with a smile: "You can't protect your own life, so why talk about the human heart. In this life, life and death are all clear. Miss Xue, go and cultivate for the afterlife!"
In the ambiguity of the dream, Ling Rong called his sister-in-law, but in the end he could only be replaced by a clear and clear "Miss Xue".
I had no intention of examining the tangle of proportions involved. I just cried blindly. My parents’ graying temples and aging faces appeared in front of me like a revolving door. I couldn’t catch them with my hands, and I couldn’t call them back even if I shouted hoarsely. My brother’s appearance also seemed to be taken away.
The humid miasma in Lingnan obscured it, becoming increasingly blurry and dim, and finally disappeared.