I reached out to Lin Ran and wiped the tears from her face. Lin Ran took a step back and stopped my next move. He just continued, "Liu Liu, when did you say you could understand how to cherish the people in front of you?" You don’t understand how much I love you, do you? Why are you doing this to Xiyu? How long have you been like this with her? You clearly know that she likes you too, but you don’t know how to be satisfied now that you have me? Wouldn’t you be more decisive?”
I didn't know what to say, so I just remained silent,
"Actually, I really hate Xiyu. Why is she always surrounding my Liuliu? Liuliu is mine, isn't it? Every time I thought she would let go, she kept walking until she took me away. In the final analysis, she is the best. In the end, she wins. I don’t have as much capacity as her. I can’t control you. After all these years, from the day I first met you to now, I still can’t. Good on you."
I looked at Lin Ran and listened to her words. I didn’t know why, but tears just flowed out.
"Liuliu, you are crying. Haha, that's good. It means that you still have some conscience. In fact, you can't blame Xiyu. If you had been decisive earlier, you wouldn't be like this. Liuliu, you know, I The happiest time in my life is when I take wedding photos with you. Even though they are just some photos, I still wore the wedding dress before Xiyu, right? To be honest, Liuliu, I wore the wedding dress before Xiyu. Isn't it ugly? I just don't have a good personality like her. Otherwise, I'm not worse than her in anything. Why don't you cherish me? Why, please tell me. Even if you give up on me now, can you go to the end with her? , who can say for sure what will happen in the future? You who lied on my pillow, held me in your arms, and sworn an oath to me, what are you doing now? What have you done? You just hurt me. heart."
I felt very uncomfortable and still couldn't control my tears, and I didn't speak because I really didn't know what to say.
"Look at you, I want to live with you so wholeheartedly, I want to marry you, really, but why are you so cruel, doing this again and again, you say Xiyu is good, she has no intentions at all Well, no one is a fool, I understand a lot of things, I just don’t say it out loud, I always endure it again, always endure it again, so when I endure it until I have nothing left, I don’t have to endure it anymore, right?”
"Liuliu, I always think that you are everything to me. Every time I have difficulties or am unhappy, I always think of you first. Even when my mom and dad were getting divorced, I I also stubbornly insisted that it doesn’t matter to me if I get divorced. I have my Liuliu with me, and I don’t care about anything. In your words, that’s nothing, right?” Lin Ran looked at me. Liu'er, let me ask you, the relationship we have had for so many years is not worthy of your sincerity, is it?"
"No, it's not like that. I love you, really."
"Love me." Lin Ran stood up and smiled, "You hold another woman in your arms, and then you say you love me."
This was the first time I was so confused, the first time I was so at a loss. "Don't be like this, I was wrong, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I said, holding my head, "I will change it in the future, I will definitely change it."
"You can't change it. You were born with this temperament. You can't see girls crying. You don't know how to deal with these things. You don't know what rejection and ambiguity are. You always say that you have a sense of responsibility. I don’t deny it, indeed, but have you ever thought about it, if you are unfaithful, no matter how responsible you are, what’s the use.”
"I'm not unfaithful, really."
"No." Lin Ran smiled, "Then tell me, what do you have to do to be considered unfaithful? What do you want from me? How do you want me to tolerate you? Liuliu, I'm not a fool. , do you and Xiyu really have nothing and nothing happened?"
I was stunned for a moment, then looked up at Lin Ran and fell silent.
"I gave you that knife, so I forgive you that night, so I forgive you for those entanglements with Xiyu, so I keep reminding you and hinting you to stay away from her. I never told you, Really? Or, you never thought that I would know, right? Just like today, you never thought that I would come, right?"
I grabbed my hair with both hands and lowered my head without saying a word.
Lin Ran sat next to me, picked up a bottle of beer, opened it, and started drinking.
I turned my head, reached out and grabbed her arm,
"Let me go, okay. It's not your turn to take care of me."
"Don't do this."
Lin Ran threw away my arm and took a few sips of beer. "Actually, I can't blame you entirely. It's useless to blame anyone. If you really want to blame me, then blame myself. I'm just cheap. It's my own problem." , I clearly know that you cannot be trusted and are not worthy of your trust, but I still comfort myself. I said that Liuliu is a responsible person. He even took wedding photos with me. We will get married in the future. I always I fantasize about our future life and your promise to me. Now, I alone bear the harm you do to me and bear alone my disappointment in the fantasy. Fantasy is just a fantasy after all."
"I never thought that you could change so fast, change so completely, change so much that it makes me feel helpless, and change so much that it breaks my heart."
"I don't, I love you."
Lin Ran raised his head, then put his head close to my face, and kissed the side of my face. "Liuliu, I know you love me, and I love you too, you know."
I was about to continue talking, but at this time, Lin Ran spoke again, "But I can't stand your behavior, I can't stand you treating me like this, think about it carefully, Liuliu, you treat me like this, treat a follower like this." You have been a woman for so many years, are you still a human being?"
"Listen to my explanation, okay."
"Explain." Lin Ran smiled, "You still have to explain to me, what a ridiculous thing. In fact, you don't need to explain anything. Is the explanation useful? Liuliu, there have been so many entanglements between us for so many years. Today I will draw End of it, you have a good relationship with girls. Without me, you will live a better life. You will have fewer constraints and can do many things openly. Wouldn't that be better?"
I glanced at Lin Ran, then lowered my head and said nothing.
Lin Ran continued to take a sip of wine, "Actually, the matter between two people and the third person can never be explained. The reason why we are like this, Liu'er, ask yourself if it was your hands that caused it. In fact, I also know that it was not. No one is completely inseparable from the other. No one can live without the other. I am very happy when I am with you, I am very happy, I like you to play tricks, I like this about you, I like that about you, but I I don’t like your indecisiveness in dealing with issues of the opposite sex. In fact, I have always wanted to talk to you about this, but I have never had the chance. Today I have it. Unfortunately, it is also the last time."
"You can't be ambiguous with many women, because you can't marry many women, right? Now that Xiyu has dragged me down, will she be able to keep going with you in the future?" Lin Ran smiled. I'm not that great, I won't bless you, and you don't deserve my blessing, Liuliu, you have completely destroyed me, really."
I turned my head, looked at Lin Ran, reached out and grabbed her arm, snatched the beer from her hand, "Don't be like this, okay."
"What about me, I can't even drink."
"I'm sorry, really."
Lin Ran smiled, "There's nothing I'm sorry for about these things. I'm sorry. What's more, I've heard you say I'm sorry. I've heard enough. Okay, Liuliu, after talking to you for so long, we'll Let’s do this, okay.”
"Which kind."
Lin Ran didn't speak. He just picked up the thermos pot on the ground and handed it into my hand. "Liuliu, drink it. It clears the lungs and nourishes the stomach. Do you remember the recipe? If not, I'll write it down for you."
"Don't do this."
Lin Ran stopped my urge to continue talking. "This is the first time I have made soup for others. My parents have never eaten the soup I made when they raised me. My father has been smoking for 20 years. I I haven't endured it for him even once. I made a special effort to endure it today. I'll give it to you first, to the person I love the most, to the memories I love the most, and to the pain I love the most." Lin Ran burst into tears when he said this. It flowed down again, and then she stopped talking. She just held a spoon and fed me one mouthful at a time.
I leaned on the sofa numbly, drinking the soup she made. Looking at Lin Ran's face, I suddenly felt so familiar and yet so strange. It was the first time that I felt the distance between us. It was the first time that I felt the distance between us. Feeling the irreversibility between us,
Lin Ran fed me and finished all the soup, then looked at me, "Liu'er, let's clear things up, okay, we won't owe each other anything in the future." Then Lin Ran wiped his tears, "Me neither. Crying, I'm fine, you can't watch a girl cry, it will save you feeling uncomfortable in your heart, now you have finished drinking the soup, well, let's stop here, it's all over, I won't cry anymore, From now on, we can go our separate ways and you don’t want to appear in my life again. This is good for you and good for me, right?"
I looked up at Lin Ran and didn't say anything. I just took out another cigarette, lit it, and smoked. I didn't know what I was thinking about, but I just kept smoking, smoking,
I think about the girl who has been by my side since junior high school. I think about our ups and downs over the years and experienced so many things, but has always been by my side. I think about our relationship for so many years. , just like this, disappearing bit by bit, making me unable to cope with it, making me unable to forget,
I raised my head, looked at Lin Ran, and tried my last effort, "Give me another chance, okay. It will be fine in a few days, okay?"
Lin Ran looked at me, shook his head firmly, and then sighed, "Liu'er, from today on, we each have our destiny."
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