"Maybe I am too greedy, but human nature is like this. After you get something, you will want more. Once you start, you can't stop. I not only want to be your wife, I also want to be your wife."
Be the person you love most in your life, but I know I can never do it. Your person is with me, but your heart will never belong to me. Even though you have done so many things, a woman’s intuition
Always telling me that that is not real love.
Maybe in the eyes of many people, this kind of marriage is enough. They think that you are good enough to me and have given me enough. What else can I ask for? But only I know best. I am a little bit in this marriage.
There is no sense of security, because I know that such a marriage without love and only supported by responsibility must be very tiring and hard for you, and I don’t know what you will do if Su Wanqi reappears one day.
manage,
Maybe you can restrain the passion and pain in your heart and still choose to stay with me, but how should I face it? Xudong, I have never loved anyone so far, you are the only one, but love
I have to face this kind of situation after getting married, and I don't know what to do.
So, I really hate you, I hate you why even after Su Wanqi left, you still think about her, and even think about other women, but you only don’t love me. Sometimes I hate myself even more, hate me
Why can't I win your heart? Why do I hate myself even more for why I still love you at this point?
I can’t tell myself when I started falling in love with you, and when my feelings deepened little by little. But from the beginning to now, all I can choose is to suppress my emotions, because of you.
You are very excellent. Not only can I see your excellence, other girls can also see it and they will all be attracted to you.
But the most regrettable thing is that the one you like has never been me. This is probably the biggest pain in a woman's life. You may not imagine it, but it is true for me. At that time, I thought about you every day with Su Wanqi or Su Wanqi.
We were together with Qin Kexin. To be honest, my heart felt like it was pricked with needles.
I have always loved you, and my feelings for you have indeed never changed. Even later, I gradually became disappointed with you and even despaired, but I had no way to deceive my heart. I knew that I
I still have feelings for you, otherwise, I can pretend not to know what you have done and forgive you, and you will still be kind to me as always, even more so because of guilt and need to make amends.
The earth is good to me.
But I can't do it, because I always love you, so I can't bear the invisible harm you do to me. In fact, I know in my heart that you are a principled person. The wrong start between us has cost you this life.
The person you truly love is probably the most profound lesson in your life for you. You will definitely not make the same mistake again. And you are a person who has a sense of responsibility for your family, and you will control yourself not to make mistakes again.
However, maybe you are not wrong, but you have never loved me. This is a fact that cannot be changed at any time. Our marriage compensation is enough for me to see this fact clearly. You have always told me
I, because we don’t have enough time, told me that you will spend the rest of your life learning to love me. But if feelings can really be accumulated and can be justified, you would not have fallen in love with Su Wanqi but with me.
After all, I met you first.
So everything has nothing to do with time or other factors. Love is just such a thing. There is no reason to explain it. You have said it yourself. The one you love most and the only one you love in your life is Su Wanqi, and it will not change. I believe in you.
What she said is all true. Even if you never see her in this life, your feelings for her will not change at all.
If we continue, we will only continue this kind of hurt, and we will only remind myself all the time that I will never make you fall in love with me. And you know that I, Zhang Xiaoyun, am also a proud and arrogant person.
, all my self-esteem and self-confidence have been completely destroyed in front of you, and it will continue like this, which is unbearable for me.
And the most important thing is that I can give you nothing more, the happiness and warmth of family, all of this. If I could imagine before, after having children, we will indeed have more time to work hard.
But now they are all gone.
Sometimes I even think that it was because of me that you missed Su Wanqi, lost this child, and lost the right to be a woman. Is this a punishment from God? "
Zhang Xiaoyun pinched the letter paper and could no longer bear to read it. Many of the writings on the paper had been blurred by tears.
There are many things she wants to say to Wang Xudong, but she has no chance. It can be said that she gave up such an opportunity, but she always feels that she has never got any chance. She loves Wang Xudong deeply.
I love you deeply, but in the end I can only choose to give up this relationship that makes me unforgettable and painful.
After Zhang Xiaoyun cried for a long time, she finally slowly tore up the diagnosis report and letter one by one, then found a lighter and lit up the pile of shredded papers and burned them.
Wang Xudong has been carefully protecting her fragile self-esteem, hiding the fact that she can no longer have children, and she still loves Wang Xudong, so she doesn't want to know the truth about her departure.
Zhang Xiaoyun watched the pile of papers gradually burn into ashes, as if her heart was gradually turning gray and cold.
It took a long time for Zhang Xiaoyun to walk out of the room, but her mother had been sitting in the living room in a daze. Zhang Haotian also came back and sat beside her to accompany her... Both of them seemed to be more than ten years older.
.
Zhang Xiaoyun is not the only one suffering this time. In fact, Zhang Haotian and his wife should be suffering the most, because the pain endured by their children will be magnified tenfold and a hundredfold in the hearts of their parents.
Seeing Zhang Xiaoyun come out, her mother quickly stood up and asked: "Xiaoyun, how are you? Are you tired? You haven't eaten yet. I'll make you something to eat."
Zhang Xiaoyun shook her head and said calmly: "No, I don't have much appetite. Dad, Mom, I want to tell you something. I have applied for transfer to the southern border. Drugs are still rampant there, smuggling is serious, and...
There is human trafficking and many other illegal and illegal transactions, and the demand for police force has always been very large, but there is not enough supplement."
"There are many excellent criminal police officers here in the East China Sea. There are many people who can take my place and work at any time, so I want to go to a place that needs me more." (To be continued)