The Spring Festival is coming soon, the New Year has passed, but Yang Fan is worried.
He was not short of money, he just wanted to give his wife a perfect wedding so that she could marry him happily. So, when Mrs. Tushan's words became more and more outrageous, he directly used a thousand taels of gold to marry the Tushan family.
He turned the vulgar matter of asking for a betrothal gift into a good story with the rhetoric of his daughter.
He doesn't allow the little girl's marriage to have any flaws.
Now that we have obtained the consent of Tu Shanyue's parents, the next step is to find a suitable matchmaker. And this matchmaker is very difficult to find. This person must have a certain status, must be a person in the officialdom, and can work with
Tu Shan can speak up, and it must be from His Majesty's side.
Marriage in this era meant too much, and he had to be cautious.
In this era, marriage is a marriage between two surnames, and it is not your personal matter. It is a strong alliance between two families. That is why there is a saying that marrying a wife depends on her family status, and taking concubines depends on her beauty.
No matter which environment you enter, the first important thing is to understand the game rules of this environment.
Yang Fan has been here for so long and has already understood the moral standards of this era.
In this era, it is very shameful to love one's wife very much, at least not to be known by outsiders.
There are some things that he didn't know or understand before.
For example, Lu You and Tang Wan, why their loving husband and wife were forced to divorce by their mother.
He didn't understand this logic and what it was all about.
When Yang Fan was in Yangliuqing, he specifically asked Mr. Wu. At that time, Mr. Wu was also surprised as to why Yang Fan would ask such a question.
It was only after Yang Fan told how he grew up in the mountains that Mr. Wu understood.
At that time, Mr. Wu told him a story called Zhang Chang’s Thrush.
In the Han Dynasty, Jing Zhaoyin and Zhang Chang loved his wife very much and would draw her eyebrows every morning. Nowadays, it is said that marriage is the tomb of love. The couple has given birth to several children, and they are no longer fresh.
Feeling it.
Touching your wife's hand is the same as touching your right hand with your left hand.
But Zhang Chang still loves his wife as always. I don’t know how many people will be killed by such sweet dog food. I don’t know how many singles will be killed by envy.
Zhang Chang's position is Jing Zhaoyin, the top leader in the imperial capital.
Zhang Chang could have been a prime minister, with both talent and virtue.
It was because this incident reached the ears of the emperor, who repeatedly said it was a pity, a pity, and crossed Zhang Chang off the list of candidates to be prime minister.
In ancient times, this was not in line with moral standards. A person who flirted with his wife all day long because he mistook the purpose of his wife was generally considered to be unfit for use.
Loving one's wife is a very shameful thing, wives are not meant for love.
As a result, Zhang Chang lost the opportunity to become prime minister and was banned from being prime minister for life.
At that time, Yang Fan couldn't help but ask Mr. Wu, if a wife is not for love, then what is the purpose of marrying a wife?
At that time, Mr. Wu told him that according to the mainstream view of Ming society, a wife has three correct uses.
1. Two surnames form an alliance. If you marry the daughter of his family, the two families will become in-laws. This is the cooperation and alliance of the interests of the two families.
Therefore, it is up to the head of the family to make the decision, and the parents' orders and the matchmaker's words have nothing to do with you at all. The family has given birth to you, and you have to contribute to the family.
This is your obligation, not your right to assert it.
Yang Fan thought about it at the time and found that the logic was very clear and there was no fault in it.
This article considers the issue of survival, so it requires a good match.
If you can't survive, what's the point of talking about it, so most marriages are very realistic.
Second, carry on the family line. Since your ancestors gave you blood and your parents gave you life, you have the obligation to pass on the blood of your ancestors.
So you must have children with your wife. This is your obligation and cannot be discussed.
If she is infertile, she can be abandoned because she is unworthy of the upbringing of her ancestors and family and has not fulfilled her obligation to pass on the bloodline.
You can also take a concubine. If you don't give birth, you can find someone else to wipe your butt and fulfill your obligations. You can also enjoy the rights you deserve even though you haven't fulfilled your obligations.
Yang Fan thought about this carefully and couldn't refute it.
The fact is that you really can't refuse your parents' request to have offspring. After all, they gave you life, and you have to give life to the next generation.
Third, manage family assets. It is a common division of labor between husband and wife in this era for men to take charge of outside affairs and women to take charge of housework.
In this era, large families lived together, with a large population, complex relatives, and even a large number of slaves and dependent farmers.
My wife is essentially the CEO of the entire family.
He is in charge of the family's finances and management. He even has judicial power over concubines and slaves, and has the power of life and death.
Yang Fan thought about this and understood it. In ancient times, it was often said that "cultivate one's moral character, manage one's family, govern the country, and bring peace to the world." He had always wondered that if one could manage one's family, one would be able to govern the country and bring peace to the world.
It was only in this era that I realized that in ancient times, a home was like a big company, and the wife was the CEO. It was not easy to manage it well.
When he marries Xiao Niangpi, given his family background, Xiao Niangpi's workload will not be much less than that of Miss Dong. If he can manage such a big family well, he can really govern the country and bring peace to the world.
Didn’t I see that the bosses of the beautiful country’s business world and the bosses of the political world rotate back and forth?
A good official is not necessarily a good entrepreneur, but a good entrepreneur must be a good official.
Ancient books say that when a country is in chaos, it misses a good husband; when a family is poor, it misses a good wife.
That's the truth.
The wife should also take extra care of the poor relatives in her husband's family, otherwise she will attract criticism.
Yang Fan found that personal desires, emotions and other factors were not considered at all in these three items.
He couldn't help but ask Mr. Wu: People have desires, how to solve desires. What should I do if I marry someone I don't like and have no interest in, but I still have desires?
Mr. Wu said, you can take concubines, marry virtuous wives, and take concubines for sex.
Your wife is married to you to be the general manager, so it depends on your ability and level. But your concubine is to serve you with her beauty, and she is dedicated to solving your desire problem.
This chapter is not over yet, please click on the next page to continue reading! Mr. Wu's words directly made Yang Fan lose his temper. You see, our ancestors had considered this when setting the rules.
If such a big loophole is not plugged, this set of rules will be enough.
How can it be passed down for thousands of years?
Yang Fan asked again. The poem said: "Guan Guan Jiu Jiu", a gentleman likes to be jealous. It can be seen that there is love in human emotions, and love is not desire. How to solve this problem.
Mr. Wu smiled and said, this has been planned for you a long time ago, go to the brothel.
What is the purpose of cultivating so many high-level courtesans who are proficient in music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, poetry, dance, and cooking in brothels? Isn't it just for literati to fall in love?
Yang Fan understood. His ancestors had already clearly analyzed human nature and human needs.
A comprehensive system has been developed.
Marriage considers reality, and its orientation is partners and alliances in interests.
Desire considers beauty, and it points to all the objects of the opposite sex that have no ethical or blood relationship with oneself that attract oneself.
Love considers the exchange of hearts. It is unique and exclusive. When you really fall in love with someone, your heart can no longer hold anyone else.
If it still works, it's not true love.
Marriage, desire, and love are three things. They are intertwined but do not completely cover each other. The ancient sages used patriarchal design to break down the three of them and then solve them in sequence.
But the changes in modern civilization and moral concepts require you to realize these three demands at the same time in marriage. Integrate the three demands, and then realize them all in one person.
This is extremely difficult, and most people have neither the ability nor the conditions to integrate these three aspects.
This is very difficult to do, and many people can only compromise.
Some people compromise lust and love for the sake of life.
There are also people who give up a life of material superiority for love.
There are also people who are lost in lust and cannot extricate themselves, making their marriage, family and love a mess.
In fact, today we, both men and women, have a more difficult time dealing with these problems than the ancients did.
Because it is difficult for us to perfectly solve all problems in a marriage. Since we have to compromise, we can only restrain ourselves, which puts forward higher moral requirements for people.
If you don't have a strong will, you will make mistakes.
So many marriages end in failure.
This chapter has been completed!